God Is Doing a New Thing

Hmm...Got on the scale this morning and it read lower than ever.

Boy, why can't I just rejoice?

Because I know the truth! I know that it is only because something weird has happened to my body...it is like my metabolism is super-charged right now. I feel like I eat a lot more than I used to. Maybe when the weather changes it will be different. I am outside a lot, but it doesn't SEEM like I am so active as to explain the number of times I am hungry. And I know that I still have an ungodly attachment to sweets.

For some reason, the comments from people at church have come thick and fast during the past week as well. I guess I wonder if I am not being majorly tested or something.

I know that this is grace...nothing BUT grace as I have done nothing that could "earn" releasing weight, keeping it off, and releasing more. Yes, initially maybe. I mean I had to cooperate with God in BIG ways, but even that was His work.

...but right now...no. I mean, I feel like I eat more than I need more than I used to...that makes me really on high alert, in a way. So why do I keep doing it? I don't know. And why is my weight going down?

Weird having it trickle off right now when I really don't feel like I am living a surrendered life. It BUGS me!!!!

I will take it as grace, but now...what will my response be? Will I surrender? Goodness...It is His Kindness that leads me to repentance. This is about as kind as He could be over this...it truly brings me to my knees....

God is still doing new things and still beckoning me to allow him to do even MORE new things. The question is, will I allow it?

I have realized lately that I still have (have again?) an attachment to certain types of foods...SWEETS. I am prayerfully considering what God might want me to do to be set free from that.

While I haven't gained any weight, and stayed steady at the low end of a weight range that I seem to be within most of the time these days, I know that there is yet some weight that *could* be released if I were to truly live in a surrendered state to the Lord. I know the weight isn't the point. But my heart is. I want to hold nothing back, but I am and do. So what will I do about this?

I find it odd that the weight I am staying steady at is my highschool/college weight. I spent the most time in my life at that weight...my body seems to like that weight. I am glad to be there now...but again, that "victory" is diminished by what I know is in my heart right now...a passion for sweets!

I ran into a woman I used to play tennis with over 15 years ago. She was shocked at the weight I had lost. Funny, as I didn't realize I was that much bigger that long ago! I guess so! My chiropractor hadn't seen me in two years and made quite a big hoopla about the changes, too. That was interesting as well. My sister in law hadn't seen me in a long time until Sunday...yet more celebratory praises.

All the praises of men seem so empty when I know in my heart that I am not truly walking in freedom. In fact, I feel so dishonest! I have often lamented that my sin (gluttony) is out there for everyone to see when I gain weight...and that is true (unlike the alcoholic or drug addict who often can "hide" their sin from others, the glutton wears her sin like a brand in the excess weight she carries...). But right now, I know that there is sin still. It may not be gluttony, but it still is a prideful, arrogant heart...and it isn't obvious to others so, instead, I get praised for being thin(ner). It just doesn't seem right.

Boy, I can't seem to be happy to save my life! HA!

I was interviewed today by a magazine doing an article on the virtues of using Digital Praise's "Dance Praise." They wanted before and after photos. I sent them...and told them in the interview about Thin Within. I HOPE they will include that! :-) The two worked TOGETHER very well for me. With the nice weather, I haven't been using Dance Praise. But in a way, I can't wait for the rain just so I have to use Dance Praise again! Right now I am riding horses a lot, doing a lot of outside work, and playing tennis with my family. My metabolism must be supercharged as I am hungry all the time...Dance Praise isn't on my radar screen until the rains come again, I guess. Then I will hop to, literally!!!

I guess one other victory recently was that I actually bought a couple of shirts in the *junior* department of JC Penneys. Haven't done that in a while. Sure, they are XLs but so what! My daughter was shopping there, so I tried them on and loved them. Just polo shirts to wear with shorts or jeans. I can't remember if I posted about trying on my wedding dress...but I did and it fit. Years ago hubby promised that once that happened, he and I would take a trip to Disneyland...so I hope he will pay up! Hehehehehe

More Thin Within writing projects are on the horizon. We want to support the group leaders, so are putting together some materials for that purpose. Hope to have something done by the end of this month! YIKES!

Well, I ramble...all for now. Thank you for your support, your notes, your encouraging words.

I have thought about starting a yahoo group where we can dialog with one another...not sure about that, though. Anyhow, press on! God IS faithful, even when we are NOT!