The primary text for today's lesson was Numbers 21:4-9. The author did an amazing job illuminating how this passage can relate to our desire to overcome sinful eating habits and experience victory in our lives. He used many other passages as well and then summarized as follows:
So to summarize the passages we have read today, we are to look to Jesus to save us, to eradicate sin in our lives, to strengthen us for the battle, to defeat all our enemies, to release us from the trap of sin, to restore us and give us grace, to enable us to be victorious. See why focusing on Christ is so important? (TLT, p. 70)
I have mentioned in previous entries that I had gotten things backwards...that I was waiting until the temptation comes to think that I am to cling to Christ. Truthfully, clinging to and feasting on Christ is to be a way of life, permeating the moments of each day.
BUT, this lesson brought home to my heart the fact that in the moment, when temptation is ever before me, this IS, indeed, a moment to FOCUS on him as well.
Just last night, I wish I had applied these truths. I was watching a movie with the family--we had enjoyed a wonderful time together all day and were winding down before bed. I had a thought of leftover apple pie, vanilla ice cream and whipped cream. I wasn't hungry. I just wanted it. I battled with the temptation for a while. But I kept trying to pull my thoughts off of the ice cream. There it is again...that old "Do NOT think about a pink elephant" syndrome! (Try it...right now...do NOT think of a pink elephant...and what do you think of? :-))
So the more I tried NOT to think about the pie that I wanted to eat, the more I thought about it. Until, sadly, I gave in!
This lesson today reminded me (you would think I wouldn't need so many reminders!!!) that I was focusing on the strength of the army against me...on the temptation, on the sinful option if you will. My vision was filled with what I was NOT to go after.
What I should have done in the moment is focus on Christ. Look up and see the serpent on the pole...Jesus took on all my sin and shame. The perfect, blameless son of God, the Glory of Heaven who became man, who knew no sin became sin for me so that in Him I might become the righteousness of God. Like the Israelites in the passage from Numbers, had I chosen to look on Christ, to focus on HIM, the author and perfector of my faith, I know that the lure of the pie would have diminished. Instead I tried NOT to think of the pie.
See the difference?
On the cross, Jesus took the lethal bite of the serpent, became sin and died for us. As we are looking at Him to cure us, over time we will discover that overeating loses it's appeal and we are cured. (TLT, p. 68)
So while it is true that I want to feast on the Lord, His Word and pray throughout the moments of my life--not just wait until I am tempted--it is also true that when I *am* tempted, I MUST choose to focus not on trying NOT to sin, but on the Lord, on Jesus. As I focus on HIM, the appeal of sin will diminish.
Lord, please help me to be willing to have you change me in the moment. Change my "want to" so that in the moment I *want* to think on you and be transformed. Take my moments Lord...and be Lord in the moments today. When I am tempted, please help me not to try to grit my teeth and garner up the will-power not to sin, but, instead, cause me to fix my eyes on you. Thank you, Lord. Amen.
Turn your eyes upon Jesus.
Look full in His wonderful face.
Then the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
in the light of His glory and grace.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Day 20 of TLT - Setting Captives Free Part III
If you are evaluating whether or not to get The Lord's Table workbook, then I hope you won't allow my descriptions to stand in the way! They really fall far short of the real thing. There is something so powerful about sitting down with the Word, a journal, a pen, a workbook and allowing God to move in your heart personally. These daily summaries are woefully inadequate in effectively stating what God can do through this material.
Today's lesson raised the question about why, when God was preparing to take the Israelites out of Egypt...why did they have to eat the Passover Lamb while they had their sandals on, staff in hand and their loins girded (Exodus 12:11)...while they were ready to head out? What was the significance of this and is there a modern day lesson to glean from this?
Truly, it was like the Lord ordered them to have a feast, but simultaneously ordered them to pack up the car and to have the engines running as they ate! So what was up with this? It definitely sounds counter to "conscious eating!" :-)
Mike Cleveland does an excellent job of pointing out that the way OUT of slavery first comes by partaking of, ingesting in, feasting on THE LAMB OF GOD. This is the heart of The Lord's Table message. As we take our hunger to the Lord, to Jesus, to His Word and truly allow HIM to satisfy and sustain us...as we put THAT in our lives as FIRST priority, eclipsing all others...we are taking the first steps out of our slavery. The way out of our slavery to sinful eating habits and a heart that is locked on to food is to feast on what will really nourish us...the Lord Himself.
The Israelites literally ate their way out of slavery! And so can we! This is the message that is taught to us today: When we feed on the Passover Lamb we will leave slavery. Amazing how we can win the battle of overeating, by eating! (TLT, p. 65)
There is a way out of slavery to sinful habits! It is through feeding on Jesus Christ. As we become full of Him, through meditating on the Bible and living it out, we will discover our freedom. Freedom follows fullness. (TLT, p. 65)
I think for a long while I have had this backwards. It is like I think...well, when I am tempted, I will feast on the Lord. The truth is, I must LIVE feasting on him. I must partake of him constantly. Then, the temptations won't be as strong. Controlling my food intake just makes me fixate on the food all the more. If I place those energies on turning to GOD, I sort of think that I will be heading on out in that moment...out of that place of temptation, out of the moment of struggle with indiscretion and blatant sin.
...correct eating habits and honoring the Lord with our bodies are by-products of "feeding" on Jesus Christ through thinking on, meditating on, and acting on Scripture. (TLT, p. 65)
After establishing this in the lesson, the author offered numerous passages for contemplation and response. The passages focused on Christ's sufficiency to be our sastifaction. This is what we really YEARN for! This is what we really want. HIM! We take HIM in, we chew on and digest HIM, when we sit still for a bit and read and ponder and pray over His Word. I know this is true in my own experience.
Yesterday was a difficult day. Nothing earth shattering compared to what normal people experience. I tend to lead a very sheltered life. I have very few trials that have faced me in my adult life. In fact, I have this attitude of expectancy...that something horrible is going to happen. :-( Not a good thing. But when it comes to trials, it doesn't take much for me to think I am suffering. Yesterday was one of those days when I felt pushed emotionally (and because of circumstances, this is likely to continue today as well). Had I allowed myself to be drawn to the WORD, the BREAD of LIFE, the life-giving WATER, I am convinced that I would have never even thought about food. Instead, I was restless, agitated and had a couple of eating occasions where I ate outside of my boundaries. It wasn't about the food. It was about my heart...I want to interpret my trials as a personal call--an invitation--from God to come and sit at His table--even before I even have a chance to consider sitting at the dining table (or standing at the counter) to eat physical food. I want to interpret unsettled emotions as God's invitation to recline with him, to lean against his chest. To be still and KNOW he is God. To rest in His embrace. To quietly hear Him rejoice over me with singing...
Today, Lord, let this be.
Today's lesson raised the question about why, when God was preparing to take the Israelites out of Egypt...why did they have to eat the Passover Lamb while they had their sandals on, staff in hand and their loins girded (Exodus 12:11)...while they were ready to head out? What was the significance of this and is there a modern day lesson to glean from this?
Truly, it was like the Lord ordered them to have a feast, but simultaneously ordered them to pack up the car and to have the engines running as they ate! So what was up with this? It definitely sounds counter to "conscious eating!" :-)
Mike Cleveland does an excellent job of pointing out that the way OUT of slavery first comes by partaking of, ingesting in, feasting on THE LAMB OF GOD. This is the heart of The Lord's Table message. As we take our hunger to the Lord, to Jesus, to His Word and truly allow HIM to satisfy and sustain us...as we put THAT in our lives as FIRST priority, eclipsing all others...we are taking the first steps out of our slavery. The way out of our slavery to sinful eating habits and a heart that is locked on to food is to feast on what will really nourish us...the Lord Himself.
The Israelites literally ate their way out of slavery! And so can we! This is the message that is taught to us today: When we feed on the Passover Lamb we will leave slavery. Amazing how we can win the battle of overeating, by eating! (TLT, p. 65)
There is a way out of slavery to sinful habits! It is through feeding on Jesus Christ. As we become full of Him, through meditating on the Bible and living it out, we will discover our freedom. Freedom follows fullness. (TLT, p. 65)
I think for a long while I have had this backwards. It is like I think...well, when I am tempted, I will feast on the Lord. The truth is, I must LIVE feasting on him. I must partake of him constantly. Then, the temptations won't be as strong. Controlling my food intake just makes me fixate on the food all the more. If I place those energies on turning to GOD, I sort of think that I will be heading on out in that moment...out of that place of temptation, out of the moment of struggle with indiscretion and blatant sin.
...correct eating habits and honoring the Lord with our bodies are by-products of "feeding" on Jesus Christ through thinking on, meditating on, and acting on Scripture. (TLT, p. 65)
After establishing this in the lesson, the author offered numerous passages for contemplation and response. The passages focused on Christ's sufficiency to be our sastifaction. This is what we really YEARN for! This is what we really want. HIM! We take HIM in, we chew on and digest HIM, when we sit still for a bit and read and ponder and pray over His Word. I know this is true in my own experience.
Yesterday was a difficult day. Nothing earth shattering compared to what normal people experience. I tend to lead a very sheltered life. I have very few trials that have faced me in my adult life. In fact, I have this attitude of expectancy...that something horrible is going to happen. :-( Not a good thing. But when it comes to trials, it doesn't take much for me to think I am suffering. Yesterday was one of those days when I felt pushed emotionally (and because of circumstances, this is likely to continue today as well). Had I allowed myself to be drawn to the WORD, the BREAD of LIFE, the life-giving WATER, I am convinced that I would have never even thought about food. Instead, I was restless, agitated and had a couple of eating occasions where I ate outside of my boundaries. It wasn't about the food. It was about my heart...I want to interpret my trials as a personal call--an invitation--from God to come and sit at His table--even before I even have a chance to consider sitting at the dining table (or standing at the counter) to eat physical food. I want to interpret unsettled emotions as God's invitation to recline with him, to lean against his chest. To be still and KNOW he is God. To rest in His embrace. To quietly hear Him rejoice over me with singing...
Today, Lord, let this be.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Day 19 TLT - Setting Captives Free Part II - From Prison to Praise
The text for today's lesson is Psalm 107:10-16. I suggest prayerfully studying this passage. The study basically had me doing the following (this isn't quite how he did it...I am modifying it...I suggest getting the workbook to really experience the depth of this study!):
1. What is the condition of the people in this passage?
2. Can you identify with any of this description, relative to your own battle with overeating/gluttony and your heart's attachment to food? How so?
3. WHY were these people in this condition? (see vs. 11)
4. What happened to them before they cried out to God for help? (see vs. 12)
5. Has your over-eating caused you to experienced "bitter labor?" How so? Have you stumbled? In what way? Have you come to a point of realizing (accepting) that no human or human-devised program can help?
6. What did the people in this passage do? (vs. 13a)
7. List all the things that God did for them in response to their cry.
These people had rebelled against the LORD. Can you identify with this? I know I sure can! For years, I knew God's answer to my problem, my sin. In fact, I had written about it when I collaborated with the Hallidays on the Thin Within book! I took half-hearted stabs at living the way I knew I should, but it was more mechanics...I refused to surrender my heart. I continued in darkness. I rebelled against God and spurned His counsel. He allowed me to experience my slavery..."bitter labor." He humbled me and I knew no one could help me except the Lord. I literally came to the end of myslef, fearing that I would wake up dead.
I see now that there has to be a humbling, a breaking, a total submissive turning. God works this in us. When I called out to him for help but continued in my rebellion, He didn't free me. I still clung to my idol. I couldn't grasp the life rope when I held tightly, in pride, to food--to having what I want when I want it.
When I stopped clinging to food and to having MY way and called to Him, His salvation came. My hands and heart were free to grab a hold of His offer for deliverance. It was a process, but this was the beginning of the process. He has done so much for me and he continues to as well.
These verses tell us that when God saves someone He destroys the work of the devil in their lives. He frees from the grip of the devil, removes oppression (though not temptation), rescues from slavery to sin and sets us free. We must ever pray for ongoing help and be on guard against backsliding, but the work of salvation is thorough and ongoing deliverance from sin. (TLT, p. 62)
Hallelujah! What a great Savior!
1. What is the condition of the people in this passage?
2. Can you identify with any of this description, relative to your own battle with overeating/gluttony and your heart's attachment to food? How so?
3. WHY were these people in this condition? (see vs. 11)
4. What happened to them before they cried out to God for help? (see vs. 12)
5. Has your over-eating caused you to experienced "bitter labor?" How so? Have you stumbled? In what way? Have you come to a point of realizing (accepting) that no human or human-devised program can help?
6. What did the people in this passage do? (vs. 13a)
7. List all the things that God did for them in response to their cry.
These people had rebelled against the LORD. Can you identify with this? I know I sure can! For years, I knew God's answer to my problem, my sin. In fact, I had written about it when I collaborated with the Hallidays on the Thin Within book! I took half-hearted stabs at living the way I knew I should, but it was more mechanics...I refused to surrender my heart. I continued in darkness. I rebelled against God and spurned His counsel. He allowed me to experience my slavery..."bitter labor." He humbled me and I knew no one could help me except the Lord. I literally came to the end of myslef, fearing that I would wake up dead.
I see now that there has to be a humbling, a breaking, a total submissive turning. God works this in us. When I called out to him for help but continued in my rebellion, He didn't free me. I still clung to my idol. I couldn't grasp the life rope when I held tightly, in pride, to food--to having what I want when I want it.
When I stopped clinging to food and to having MY way and called to Him, His salvation came. My hands and heart were free to grab a hold of His offer for deliverance. It was a process, but this was the beginning of the process. He has done so much for me and he continues to as well.
These verses tell us that when God saves someone He destroys the work of the devil in their lives. He frees from the grip of the devil, removes oppression (though not temptation), rescues from slavery to sin and sets us free. We must ever pray for ongoing help and be on guard against backsliding, but the work of salvation is thorough and ongoing deliverance from sin. (TLT, p. 62)
Hallelujah! What a great Savior!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Day 18 of TLT - Setting Captives Free Part 1
What a perfect day for this lesson! We have SO much to be Thank-FULL for! Praise you, Lord!
This lesson dovetails beautifully with Barb Raveling's Freedom from Emotional Eating.
The key is TRUTH. If we can just embrace TRUTH instead of lies, our healing is at HAND! :-)
If we do NOT know the truth, we will NOT be set free. So...how does one know the truth?
The primary passage for this lesson is John 8:31-36. See what this passage speaks to you about truth...prayerfully read it and ask God to show you! :-)
I come away with the fact that I must not just KNOW the bible. Oh, for years I have taken pride in how grounded I am in God's Word. :-/ (Bleah...). The key is what do I DO with Jesus' teachings. (Including the ones about greed!) Knowledge of the truth is a key to freedom (vs. 32 in John 8). So how do I know the truth? Verse 31 of John 8 says...by obeying Jesus. Not just reading the bible. Not just studying it. Not just teaching it. Not just memorizing it. Not just showing off that I am so well-versed in the bible. (Again...yuck!)
But DOING it!!!!!
If you are like me and have some negative associations with the word obedience from prior programs that warped the truth, then well...truthfully...we have to get past it. God came up with the idea of obedience long before someone chose to manipulate others by using this word inappropriately. Let us go beyond the error of others and respond to what GOD says in His Word to us!
So knowing the truth doesn't JUST come by knowing the bible, but by obeying what Jesus tells us to do. He is the living Word and the bible is the written Word so we know what is there is what He wants us to do. Let us obey it.
This came home to me powerfully a couple of nights ago. At the end of my meal, I included a graham cracker with cream cheese frosting on it. When I finished, I was at a comfortable 5. I cleaned up and headed back to the bedroom to shower. Only, minutes later, I found myself in the kitchen again, grabbing the graham crackers and pulling the frosting out of the fridge. Huh? Having just posted to the blog about temptation, I knew precisely that this was a temptation of the first degree. What would I DO with it? Would I be a slave to sin? (I wasn't hungry...) Or would I obey what I knew to be true---obey Jesus' teachings and do what I knew was right and put the food away?
I actually decided to do what was right! I obeyed what Jesus said rather than obeying the frosting, or obeying my taste buds...it is obeying Jesus in those moments that sets me free. It is obeying his teaching. Had I eaten that second cracker and frosting, I would have been believing a lie...that somehow eating it would be better than obeying the Lord.
If we are slaves to sin we are deceived. We believe a lie. The lie may be that overeating will satisfy us, or will relieve the stress (when we all know the stress will be back later, and to give in only makes it easier to give in the next time) or that giving in to lust for food will make us happier. (TLT, p. 57)
Another lie I have believed in the past is "It's only one cracker more than I need. That's not so bad. It isn't like its the whole can of frosting and a package of graham crackers...This is so much better than in the past...I am not so bad..."
LIES!
It is NOT about the food! The sooner we realize that, the sooner we will experience true freedom! :-) HONEST! I know this is true!
It is NOT about the food.
It IS about embracing Jesus...HIS way. Rejecting self-indulgence in favor of indulging more in what HE offers...endless enjoyment of his river of delights. He has given me *pleasant* boundaries. I can enjoy whatever I desire within the 0 to 5 (hunger and satisfaction) parameters! I can delight in the tastes and textures of any food (unless the Lord leads me to abstain from a certain food which he does on occasion). It IS about my heart being softened and responsive to HIS leading and guidance. It IS about giving in to the LORD rather than to the flesh or the Enemy.
The cracker isn't the point.
What the "calories" to do my body isn't the point!
It is what is going on in my heart when I choose to do my own thing. Do I really want to go there?
John 14:6 says Jesus is THE way, THE truth, THE life.
As I know HIM and obey HIM and what He says in His Word, I AM SET FREE. This is why he came! This is why he suffered and died! This is why he exploded up out of the grave! He is victorious over death! That same power is available to me to rise above the pull of any food! To resist the independence that the Enemy wants me to exert!
I choose, this day to speak truth, to embrace truth, to forsake lies. I choose to refuse to live in ANY form of deception. I will NOT overeat today and justify it as "Well, it is Thanksgiving!" The best way I can celebrate all God has done and is doing is to honor him with my eating and drinking today, to glorify God with His temple...my body. His Spirit resides in me! Today, I will be sure that this temple is NOT defiled with more than I need to sustain my life. I will eat what He apportions to me with joy and a thankful heart.
He came to release us from captivity to our sins and to bring freedom from bondage and slavery. His freedom is real. He breaks the power of sin and releases us from the prison of sin. (TLT, p. 59)
Take heart that freedom from being dominated by the flesh is indeed possible. Freedom from satisfying every craving that comes along is possible. Freedom from over-eating is possible. (TLT, p. 59)
If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed (John 8:36).
Today, let's live as the free children of God we are!
This lesson dovetails beautifully with Barb Raveling's Freedom from Emotional Eating.
The key is TRUTH. If we can just embrace TRUTH instead of lies, our healing is at HAND! :-)
If we do NOT know the truth, we will NOT be set free. So...how does one know the truth?
The primary passage for this lesson is John 8:31-36. See what this passage speaks to you about truth...prayerfully read it and ask God to show you! :-)
I come away with the fact that I must not just KNOW the bible. Oh, for years I have taken pride in how grounded I am in God's Word. :-/ (Bleah...). The key is what do I DO with Jesus' teachings. (Including the ones about greed!) Knowledge of the truth is a key to freedom (vs. 32 in John 8). So how do I know the truth? Verse 31 of John 8 says...by obeying Jesus. Not just reading the bible. Not just studying it. Not just teaching it. Not just memorizing it. Not just showing off that I am so well-versed in the bible. (Again...yuck!)
But DOING it!!!!!
If you are like me and have some negative associations with the word obedience from prior programs that warped the truth, then well...truthfully...we have to get past it. God came up with the idea of obedience long before someone chose to manipulate others by using this word inappropriately. Let us go beyond the error of others and respond to what GOD says in His Word to us!
So knowing the truth doesn't JUST come by knowing the bible, but by obeying what Jesus tells us to do. He is the living Word and the bible is the written Word so we know what is there is what He wants us to do. Let us obey it.
This came home to me powerfully a couple of nights ago. At the end of my meal, I included a graham cracker with cream cheese frosting on it. When I finished, I was at a comfortable 5. I cleaned up and headed back to the bedroom to shower. Only, minutes later, I found myself in the kitchen again, grabbing the graham crackers and pulling the frosting out of the fridge. Huh? Having just posted to the blog about temptation, I knew precisely that this was a temptation of the first degree. What would I DO with it? Would I be a slave to sin? (I wasn't hungry...) Or would I obey what I knew to be true---obey Jesus' teachings and do what I knew was right and put the food away?
I actually decided to do what was right! I obeyed what Jesus said rather than obeying the frosting, or obeying my taste buds...it is obeying Jesus in those moments that sets me free. It is obeying his teaching. Had I eaten that second cracker and frosting, I would have been believing a lie...that somehow eating it would be better than obeying the Lord.
If we are slaves to sin we are deceived. We believe a lie. The lie may be that overeating will satisfy us, or will relieve the stress (when we all know the stress will be back later, and to give in only makes it easier to give in the next time) or that giving in to lust for food will make us happier. (TLT, p. 57)
Another lie I have believed in the past is "It's only one cracker more than I need. That's not so bad. It isn't like its the whole can of frosting and a package of graham crackers...This is so much better than in the past...I am not so bad..."
LIES!
It is NOT about the food! The sooner we realize that, the sooner we will experience true freedom! :-) HONEST! I know this is true!
It is NOT about the food.
It IS about embracing Jesus...HIS way. Rejecting self-indulgence in favor of indulging more in what HE offers...endless enjoyment of his river of delights. He has given me *pleasant* boundaries. I can enjoy whatever I desire within the 0 to 5 (hunger and satisfaction) parameters! I can delight in the tastes and textures of any food (unless the Lord leads me to abstain from a certain food which he does on occasion). It IS about my heart being softened and responsive to HIS leading and guidance. It IS about giving in to the LORD rather than to the flesh or the Enemy.
The cracker isn't the point.
What the "calories" to do my body isn't the point!
It is what is going on in my heart when I choose to do my own thing. Do I really want to go there?
John 14:6 says Jesus is THE way, THE truth, THE life.
As I know HIM and obey HIM and what He says in His Word, I AM SET FREE. This is why he came! This is why he suffered and died! This is why he exploded up out of the grave! He is victorious over death! That same power is available to me to rise above the pull of any food! To resist the independence that the Enemy wants me to exert!
I choose, this day to speak truth, to embrace truth, to forsake lies. I choose to refuse to live in ANY form of deception. I will NOT overeat today and justify it as "Well, it is Thanksgiving!" The best way I can celebrate all God has done and is doing is to honor him with my eating and drinking today, to glorify God with His temple...my body. His Spirit resides in me! Today, I will be sure that this temple is NOT defiled with more than I need to sustain my life. I will eat what He apportions to me with joy and a thankful heart.
He came to release us from captivity to our sins and to bring freedom from bondage and slavery. His freedom is real. He breaks the power of sin and releases us from the prison of sin. (TLT, p. 59)
Take heart that freedom from being dominated by the flesh is indeed possible. Freedom from satisfying every craving that comes along is possible. Freedom from over-eating is possible. (TLT, p. 59)
If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed (John 8:36).
Today, let's live as the free children of God we are!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Day 17 of TLT - Brokenness: The Key To Victory
To be truly done with habitual sin, I must be broken by God. I believe this. I've seen that I could "pull it together" and release weight, but unless I invite, allow, and WELCOME brokenness over sin, I will have a tendency to minimize it--then there will always be the potential to turn back to it again. This is the very thing I have been battling.
This lesson had a lot of great quotes from great theologians on the blessing of brokenness. I am earnestly asking God to break me--to see Christ and his wounds, his blood spilled--because of MY sin. Because of MY greed for food, MY over-indulgence, MY lust, MY pride, and MY insistence to do my own thing--to "declare my independence" from God.
In fact, apart from really coming face to face with the cross--the horror of it--how can I really even begin to fathom God's amazing grace? If I don't really have a sense of that from which *I* have been saved, how can I thrill to the salvation? The gift?
I see how I could change the superficial--the eating habits--and lose weight...change on the outside (and yes, there have been many changes that are internal, I realize)...but apart from THIS, the heart change will be superficial at best.
By his WOUNDS I am healed. His wounds...
He was pierced for MY transgressions, he was crushed for MY sin. The punishment that brought ME peace and reconciliation was poured out..the wrath of God fully unleashed...on HIM...that I might be free from ever having to experience that or separation from God...
Thank you, Lord...
This lesson had a lot of great quotes from great theologians on the blessing of brokenness. I am earnestly asking God to break me--to see Christ and his wounds, his blood spilled--because of MY sin. Because of MY greed for food, MY over-indulgence, MY lust, MY pride, and MY insistence to do my own thing--to "declare my independence" from God.
In fact, apart from really coming face to face with the cross--the horror of it--how can I really even begin to fathom God's amazing grace? If I don't really have a sense of that from which *I* have been saved, how can I thrill to the salvation? The gift?
I see how I could change the superficial--the eating habits--and lose weight...change on the outside (and yes, there have been many changes that are internal, I realize)...but apart from THIS, the heart change will be superficial at best.
By his WOUNDS I am healed. His wounds...
He was pierced for MY transgressions, he was crushed for MY sin. The punishment that brought ME peace and reconciliation was poured out..the wrath of God fully unleashed...on HIM...that I might be free from ever having to experience that or separation from God...
Thank you, Lord...
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Day 16 of TLT - Temptation
As we walk this path, it is important to recognize temptation...what it looks like, when it is likely to come and what to do about it.
The text for today's lesson is Luke 4:1-13. It happens to be what my pastor preached on this past Sunday. So my notes and thoughts about this lesson are mingled with thoughts about the message from Sunday. I get the impression that God wants me to GET THIS! :-)
From the passage, we can pull out (especially if we really dig or stretch things) that we are most likely to be tempted:
1.) ...when undertaking serious kingdom work - I would add to this any time we want to surrender to the Lord in some way...especially when there has been a stronghold (this is not what the Luke passage is about, but it applies).
2.) ...when alone
3.) ...when physically depleted (v. 3, 4)
4.) ...when materially depleted (5 - 8)...this is one that the pastor spoke about and I won't elaborate here, but I think when we are feeling in some way like we haven't gotten what we are "due" in some way or feeling "ripped off" or like we have "less than" someone else...the enemy is likely to hone in on us when we lack gratitude and contentment...
5.) ...when spiritually depleted.
When we have had a pretty terrific spiritual experience or "high" ...we may also be vulnerable. Mike Cleveland (the author of The Lord's Table) references this in the parallel passage in Matthew 4 which indicates that Jesus had just received audible affirmation that he was aproved of by the Father at his baptism.
Satan's design is for us to give in and disobey rather than to resist and offer our bodies a livign sacrifice; to indulge our flesh rather than crucify it. (TLT, p. 52)
More notes from the lesson on the passage:
He [Satan] wants us to doubt our relationship with God and to become independent of Him in meeting our own needs. (TLT, p. 52)
The devil hates anything requiring humility and dependence upon God and loves to tell us of our own self-sufficiency. (TLT, p. 52)
To apply this teaching, you and I have a desire for fellowship and satisfaction and God promises to supply our every need. Will you believe Him and find your fullness in Him? Or will you believe the lie of the devil that says stuffing yourself full of ofod will meet your desire for fullness? (TLT, p. 52)
How to resist temptation and overcome--from Pastor Mike Earnst's message...Follow Jesus' example:
1.) Be dependent on the Holy Spirit
2.) Be saturated with Scripture
3.) Be sustained by prayer and fasting
I can spout off scripture til the cows come home, but is God's Word really at home in my heart and life? Am I saturated in it? When you "squeeze" me, is that what comes out?
Scripture takes up residence in the heart only through obedience - Psalm 111:10. (TLT, p. 52)
Satan is after our worship!
Notice how Jesus warded off this assault and conquered the enemy:
1.) WIth abhorrence and detestation (see also Matt 4:10). If we are ever going to win this battle against overeating we must ask God to give us a holy detestation of it, as we cannot bear the thought of it. How can we defile His temple, our bodies, in such a way?
2.) With scripture...when dealing with fierce and intense temptatinos, answer from scripture and answer in brief. (TLT p. 53)
A couple more quotes from this lesson...this is another one that makes having the workbook so worth while!!!
Satan used scripture to try to get Jesus to sin. He does the same with us.
Please get this principle. The devil will throw all kinds of Scripture our way to get us to sin against God by giving in to our flesh: I will forgive your sins and remember your wickedness no more (Jer. 31:34), All manner of sin and blasphemy will be forgiven among men (Matt. 12:31), Nothing can separate us from the love of God (Romans 8:35), The evil I do not want to do, this I keep on doing (Romans 7:15), If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us (1 John 1:9)...and so on. How do we know it is the devil using Scripture and not our own minds? If that scripture is being used to lure us into sin, it is coming from the evil one. (TLT, p. 53)
This is an IMPORTANT point! Of course, these scriptures are true and we get reassurance from them when we *have* been disobedient, but they should NEVER be used to justify a sinful choice! We want to grieve over our sin and turn to the Lord and His Word in our repentance, prevailing on the truth of these scriptures through tears and heartbreak. NOT when we are thinking it through and pondering walking headlong into sin with those scriptures helping us along...NO!
How can we win against temptations? As Jesus did: by humble dependence upon God to meet our desire for fullness, by resisting the onslaughts of temptation, and by feeding upon every word of God and obeying what we read. (TLT p. 53)
Summary: We are prone to temptations after a spiritually exhilarating experience or victory, when we are alone, when we are feeling depleted. Be aware and know when YOU are more prone to temptation! We can fight it with the power of God and with scripture. We WILL win as we follow the example of Christ in his humble dependence on the Lord and his weilding of the Sword of the Spirit.
The text for today's lesson is Luke 4:1-13. It happens to be what my pastor preached on this past Sunday. So my notes and thoughts about this lesson are mingled with thoughts about the message from Sunday. I get the impression that God wants me to GET THIS! :-)
From the passage, we can pull out (especially if we really dig or stretch things) that we are most likely to be tempted:
1.) ...when undertaking serious kingdom work - I would add to this any time we want to surrender to the Lord in some way...especially when there has been a stronghold (this is not what the Luke passage is about, but it applies).
2.) ...when alone
3.) ...when physically depleted (v. 3, 4)
4.) ...when materially depleted (5 - 8)...this is one that the pastor spoke about and I won't elaborate here, but I think when we are feeling in some way like we haven't gotten what we are "due" in some way or feeling "ripped off" or like we have "less than" someone else...the enemy is likely to hone in on us when we lack gratitude and contentment...
5.) ...when spiritually depleted.
When we have had a pretty terrific spiritual experience or "high" ...we may also be vulnerable. Mike Cleveland (the author of The Lord's Table) references this in the parallel passage in Matthew 4 which indicates that Jesus had just received audible affirmation that he was aproved of by the Father at his baptism.
Satan's design is for us to give in and disobey rather than to resist and offer our bodies a livign sacrifice; to indulge our flesh rather than crucify it. (TLT, p. 52)
More notes from the lesson on the passage:
He [Satan] wants us to doubt our relationship with God and to become independent of Him in meeting our own needs. (TLT, p. 52)
The devil hates anything requiring humility and dependence upon God and loves to tell us of our own self-sufficiency. (TLT, p. 52)
To apply this teaching, you and I have a desire for fellowship and satisfaction and God promises to supply our every need. Will you believe Him and find your fullness in Him? Or will you believe the lie of the devil that says stuffing yourself full of ofod will meet your desire for fullness? (TLT, p. 52)
How to resist temptation and overcome--from Pastor Mike Earnst's message...Follow Jesus' example:
1.) Be dependent on the Holy Spirit
2.) Be saturated with Scripture
3.) Be sustained by prayer and fasting
I can spout off scripture til the cows come home, but is God's Word really at home in my heart and life? Am I saturated in it? When you "squeeze" me, is that what comes out?
Scripture takes up residence in the heart only through obedience - Psalm 111:10. (TLT, p. 52)
Satan is after our worship!
Notice how Jesus warded off this assault and conquered the enemy:
1.) WIth abhorrence and detestation (see also Matt 4:10). If we are ever going to win this battle against overeating we must ask God to give us a holy detestation of it, as we cannot bear the thought of it. How can we defile His temple, our bodies, in such a way?
2.) With scripture...when dealing with fierce and intense temptatinos, answer from scripture and answer in brief. (TLT p. 53)
A couple more quotes from this lesson...this is another one that makes having the workbook so worth while!!!
Satan used scripture to try to get Jesus to sin. He does the same with us.
Please get this principle. The devil will throw all kinds of Scripture our way to get us to sin against God by giving in to our flesh: I will forgive your sins and remember your wickedness no more (Jer. 31:34), All manner of sin and blasphemy will be forgiven among men (Matt. 12:31), Nothing can separate us from the love of God (Romans 8:35), The evil I do not want to do, this I keep on doing (Romans 7:15), If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us (1 John 1:9)...and so on. How do we know it is the devil using Scripture and not our own minds? If that scripture is being used to lure us into sin, it is coming from the evil one. (TLT, p. 53)
This is an IMPORTANT point! Of course, these scriptures are true and we get reassurance from them when we *have* been disobedient, but they should NEVER be used to justify a sinful choice! We want to grieve over our sin and turn to the Lord and His Word in our repentance, prevailing on the truth of these scriptures through tears and heartbreak. NOT when we are thinking it through and pondering walking headlong into sin with those scriptures helping us along...NO!
How can we win against temptations? As Jesus did: by humble dependence upon God to meet our desire for fullness, by resisting the onslaughts of temptation, and by feeding upon every word of God and obeying what we read. (TLT p. 53)
Summary: We are prone to temptations after a spiritually exhilarating experience or victory, when we are alone, when we are feeling depleted. Be aware and know when YOU are more prone to temptation! We can fight it with the power of God and with scripture. We WILL win as we follow the example of Christ in his humble dependence on the Lord and his weilding of the Sword of the Spirit.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Day 15 TLT - Accountability
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 is the primary text for this lesson.
The author shows that this passage teaches that two working together can produce spiritual fruit (v. 9), that it can provide spiritual restoration (v. 10), prompt spiritual zeal (v. 11), and provide spiritual protection (v. 12).
He provides compelling arguments that if we are serious about releasing weight and the behaviors and attitudes that have gotten us into trouble we have to have to have to be willing to have an up front, in your face, speaking the truth in love, accountability partner.
Some time back, I posted to my blog about this very thing. You can read that entry here.
Mike Cleveland in The Lord's Table workbook, points out that when in accountability:
"You agree to openness and honesty. Bondage to overeating brings deception with it; some of us have been deceptive for years. If we want to lose the slavery to sin it starts with honesty, even if it is humbling." (TLT p. 49)
I have found this to be so true and YES, I DO have an accountability partner. Every winter, I know for a fact I need one, but this time, she landed in my lap as a gift from Heaven to me from God. It is the most amazing story and I would NOT be surviving this time of literal emotional, spiritual, and previously physical withdrawal from my dependence on diet soda (I know that sounds dramatic, but what I have experienced is nothing short of an addict's withdrawal symptoms!) without this amazing lady.
In September, I heard about a Thin Within group that was at a church not far from where my 83 year old mother lives. I emailed the contact person and said I would be more than eager to offer to support or help the group, sharing my experience and a bit about my testimony including my blog. The amazing thing is...the leader of the group lives in my SMALL TOWN community...and leads that group at that church even though it is about 45 minutes or so away from both of us! We met for breakfast in September and she boldly asked if I would be her accountability partner.
At that time, I was overwhelmed with life and wasn't sure my husband would feel it wise for me to do that...I had NO idea just how much I WOULD NEED HER! I am grateful that my husband said he thought it would be fine since she was a real life contact and not just an email contact -- there is something about seeing one another every so often that makes it more real or something.
This lady has been the real deal. Her honest seeking the Lord and his healing has so touched my heart. I have been blown away by how BADLY she wants this healing and how much she is willing to endure to get it. She is definitely living all the things Beth Moore taught about in the Breaking Free taping...even though she has never seen this material. This lady is willing to go after this and I know she IS breaking free. She WILL live in total freedom.
But in the past few weeks, as I have been trying to get through some emotional hurdles and do it without depending on diet soda, I have been SO blessed by her loving encouragement and her compassionate observations. Gosh, the lady is a therapist...the Lord knew I needed one!!!!
I know that I WILL make it through this difficult time with her support, prayers and counsel. She may have thought this was about HER, but God has used HER so much in my life already...and continues to. What a blessing.
I want that for everyone who wants to be free. I see why Mike Cleveland in this lesson is so adamant that we MUST be in accountability. Without it, we sort of are hedging our bets...we have an out...we can do something in secret...
I asked my husband last night to keep me accountable as well. I need to up the ante right now while I am struggling so much.
I also have decided to start using the hunger graphs again and to keep them on the dining table where the entire family can see them. This is SO humbling to me...I have tried NOT to do that in the past...and been mortified when someone in the family has scrutinized my hunger graph and said something to me about it. I am asking for that accountability now, though. I know I need it. My tendency to deceive has resurfaced (or maybe it was always there...).
I want TRUTH in the inward parts. I want my MIND to be renewed. I don't want to long for food even inwardly. I want to LONG for God, to pant for HIM, to say with the psalmist with heart-felt genuine honesty:
The author shows that this passage teaches that two working together can produce spiritual fruit (v. 9), that it can provide spiritual restoration (v. 10), prompt spiritual zeal (v. 11), and provide spiritual protection (v. 12).
He provides compelling arguments that if we are serious about releasing weight and the behaviors and attitudes that have gotten us into trouble we have to have to have to be willing to have an up front, in your face, speaking the truth in love, accountability partner.
Some time back, I posted to my blog about this very thing. You can read that entry here.
Mike Cleveland in The Lord's Table workbook, points out that when in accountability:
"You agree to openness and honesty. Bondage to overeating brings deception with it; some of us have been deceptive for years. If we want to lose the slavery to sin it starts with honesty, even if it is humbling." (TLT p. 49)
I have found this to be so true and YES, I DO have an accountability partner. Every winter, I know for a fact I need one, but this time, she landed in my lap as a gift from Heaven to me from God. It is the most amazing story and I would NOT be surviving this time of literal emotional, spiritual, and previously physical withdrawal from my dependence on diet soda (I know that sounds dramatic, but what I have experienced is nothing short of an addict's withdrawal symptoms!) without this amazing lady.
In September, I heard about a Thin Within group that was at a church not far from where my 83 year old mother lives. I emailed the contact person and said I would be more than eager to offer to support or help the group, sharing my experience and a bit about my testimony including my blog. The amazing thing is...the leader of the group lives in my SMALL TOWN community...and leads that group at that church even though it is about 45 minutes or so away from both of us! We met for breakfast in September and she boldly asked if I would be her accountability partner.
At that time, I was overwhelmed with life and wasn't sure my husband would feel it wise for me to do that...I had NO idea just how much I WOULD NEED HER! I am grateful that my husband said he thought it would be fine since she was a real life contact and not just an email contact -- there is something about seeing one another every so often that makes it more real or something.
This lady has been the real deal. Her honest seeking the Lord and his healing has so touched my heart. I have been blown away by how BADLY she wants this healing and how much she is willing to endure to get it. She is definitely living all the things Beth Moore taught about in the Breaking Free taping...even though she has never seen this material. This lady is willing to go after this and I know she IS breaking free. She WILL live in total freedom.
But in the past few weeks, as I have been trying to get through some emotional hurdles and do it without depending on diet soda, I have been SO blessed by her loving encouragement and her compassionate observations. Gosh, the lady is a therapist...the Lord knew I needed one!!!!
I know that I WILL make it through this difficult time with her support, prayers and counsel. She may have thought this was about HER, but God has used HER so much in my life already...and continues to. What a blessing.
I want that for everyone who wants to be free. I see why Mike Cleveland in this lesson is so adamant that we MUST be in accountability. Without it, we sort of are hedging our bets...we have an out...we can do something in secret...
I asked my husband last night to keep me accountable as well. I need to up the ante right now while I am struggling so much.
I also have decided to start using the hunger graphs again and to keep them on the dining table where the entire family can see them. This is SO humbling to me...I have tried NOT to do that in the past...and been mortified when someone in the family has scrutinized my hunger graph and said something to me about it. I am asking for that accountability now, though. I know I need it. My tendency to deceive has resurfaced (or maybe it was always there...).
I want TRUTH in the inward parts. I want my MIND to be renewed. I don't want to long for food even inwardly. I want to LONG for God, to pant for HIM, to say with the psalmist with heart-felt genuine honesty:
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
Psalm 73:25-26
Sunday, November 23, 2008
What is a Hypocrite?
Beth Moore asks a question..."Am I a hypocrite if I really WANT to be the person I am pretending to be?"
Not sure what her answer is.
I am asking this question tonight.
By morning, I spout off here at the blog.
By night, I am shoveling food down my gullet with the "best" of them. What is wrong with me? Good grief.
In the midst of my chaotic eating and failures, however, there was one glimmer of "success" today. I actually DID take time to truth journal about some things...that was a good first step. So I am thankful for that...but nuts...I sure didn't let it affect the ultimate outcome.
"Oh wretched [wo]man that I am. Who will rescue me from this body of death! But praise be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus..."
(My paraphrase of the last verses of Romans 7 and Romans 8:1)
Not sure what her answer is.
I am asking this question tonight.
By morning, I spout off here at the blog.
By night, I am shoveling food down my gullet with the "best" of them. What is wrong with me? Good grief.
In the midst of my chaotic eating and failures, however, there was one glimmer of "success" today. I actually DID take time to truth journal about some things...that was a good first step. So I am thankful for that...but nuts...I sure didn't let it affect the ultimate outcome.
"Oh wretched [wo]man that I am. Who will rescue me from this body of death! But praise be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus..."
(My paraphrase of the last verses of Romans 7 and Romans 8:1)
Day 14 of TLT - "Put Off and Put On"
Sin must not only be eradicated, it must be replaced." (TLT, p. 45)
Ephesians 4:21-24 teaches the putting off and putting on principle.
When is a thief not a thief? It takes more than him not stealing any more. He has to provide for his own way in life and build a living as well as share with others. It isn't just stopping the sin, but replacing the sinful behavior with new godly behaviors.
I can so relate to this. For just over 2 years, I have felt like I have been holding it together...at times barely. Sure, I released 100 pounds and have kept it off for a year. That is great...but I feel like a glutton who just doesn't behave like a glutton (usually). I don't feel changed inside.
Sure, stopping eating in a gluttonous manner is important. Giving up the extra food is great, but I have to put off the old behavior AND PUT ON A NEW BEHAVIOR. A new godly behavior. This is where there is a disconnect for me.
Until I humble myself and am willing to feast on the Lord, pray, take time to write in my gratitude blog, truth journal...I believe I will be stuck being a glutton on the inside...I know God wants to do this deeper internal work in me. I must cooperate with him. Then I won't feel like I am always on the edge of losing it all...of reverting back to old habits. I must have something replace the old ways. Something satisfying, something lasting, something...so obvious...a total enjoyment of his presence, feasting on HIM. Why do I shut him out? Why do I know that truth journaling, praying, reading the Word would help and NOT do it? (PRIDE...)
The author suggests writing a list of all the things that have become bad behaviors during the day relating to food. He then suggests writing a list of godly behaviors to practice instead. These are good exercises, as they bring this lesson home at a practical level.
Luke 11:24-26 illustrates that we may be worse off if we "clean house" of all our sinful eating behaviors--if we do the "putting off"--and fail to replace these behaviors with something godly--the "putting on." I know this from experience. Years ago, I lost 100 pounds with Weight Watchers. I didn't realize it at the time, but I only shifted the way my obsession with food was manifest...I went from eating anything and everything and thinking about food all the time to eat it all, to focusing on the content of food, planning and preparing the "right amount," and obsessing every bit as much. I had no idea just how much MORE attached to food my heart had become through that year at Weight Watchers. Even though I lost all that weight, it wasn't a huge leap for the old behaviors to return and the weight to come pouring back on (which it did).
This time has to be different. I will work this thing through. I will learn to give myself to God. To invite him more fully into all the moments of my life. I know that He IS satisfying. I am praying that he will show me just how satisfying. I am praying that I will allow him to knock down all the walls I have built in my life...so that I can "put on" the new man through and through and all the godly behaviors that go along with that. I want to replace all the sinful, negative, destructive behaviors in my life with positive godly behaviors.
Summary: Grinning and bearing it isn't enough. We must replace ungodly eating habits and thoughts with new godly habits and thoughts. I have not been doing this!
Ephesians 4:21-24 teaches the putting off and putting on principle.
When is a thief not a thief? It takes more than him not stealing any more. He has to provide for his own way in life and build a living as well as share with others. It isn't just stopping the sin, but replacing the sinful behavior with new godly behaviors.
I can so relate to this. For just over 2 years, I have felt like I have been holding it together...at times barely. Sure, I released 100 pounds and have kept it off for a year. That is great...but I feel like a glutton who just doesn't behave like a glutton (usually). I don't feel changed inside.
Sure, stopping eating in a gluttonous manner is important. Giving up the extra food is great, but I have to put off the old behavior AND PUT ON A NEW BEHAVIOR. A new godly behavior. This is where there is a disconnect for me.
Until I humble myself and am willing to feast on the Lord, pray, take time to write in my gratitude blog, truth journal...I believe I will be stuck being a glutton on the inside...I know God wants to do this deeper internal work in me. I must cooperate with him. Then I won't feel like I am always on the edge of losing it all...of reverting back to old habits. I must have something replace the old ways. Something satisfying, something lasting, something...so obvious...a total enjoyment of his presence, feasting on HIM. Why do I shut him out? Why do I know that truth journaling, praying, reading the Word would help and NOT do it? (PRIDE...)
The author suggests writing a list of all the things that have become bad behaviors during the day relating to food. He then suggests writing a list of godly behaviors to practice instead. These are good exercises, as they bring this lesson home at a practical level.
Luke 11:24-26 illustrates that we may be worse off if we "clean house" of all our sinful eating behaviors--if we do the "putting off"--and fail to replace these behaviors with something godly--the "putting on." I know this from experience. Years ago, I lost 100 pounds with Weight Watchers. I didn't realize it at the time, but I only shifted the way my obsession with food was manifest...I went from eating anything and everything and thinking about food all the time to eat it all, to focusing on the content of food, planning and preparing the "right amount," and obsessing every bit as much. I had no idea just how much MORE attached to food my heart had become through that year at Weight Watchers. Even though I lost all that weight, it wasn't a huge leap for the old behaviors to return and the weight to come pouring back on (which it did).
This time has to be different. I will work this thing through. I will learn to give myself to God. To invite him more fully into all the moments of my life. I know that He IS satisfying. I am praying that he will show me just how satisfying. I am praying that I will allow him to knock down all the walls I have built in my life...so that I can "put on" the new man through and through and all the godly behaviors that go along with that. I want to replace all the sinful, negative, destructive behaviors in my life with positive godly behaviors.
Summary: Grinning and bearing it isn't enough. We must replace ungodly eating habits and thoughts with new godly habits and thoughts. I have not been doing this!
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Day 13 of TLT - "New Direction"
I find The Lord's Table can be wonderfully compatible with Thin Within. That is why I have dedicated so much of this blog to sharing about it.
This lesson builds on previous lessons that have been shared.
Repentance brings with it a "godly sorrow" and this godly sorrow is crucial to victory over sin. (TLT p. 41)
2 Corinthians 7:8-13 is the focus passage for this lesson.
We need to pray for sorrow in our hearts as we repent from over-eating. (TLT, p. 41)
The author explains that the teaching that overeating is sin is difficult to swallow and most diets, programs and "experts" will minimize this or avoid or deny it all together. They will often, instead, indicate that changing the food is the answer or exercising more.
But the fact is, the thought that overeating is a sin is TRUTH.
Freedom comes through embracing truth and truth often times wounds us. (TLT, p. 42)
Right now, the truth is hard for me...and that is, my having turned my back on diet soda all together has shown me just how connected I am to sweet-tasting foods. As I have stopped drinking diet soda at all, my lust for sweet foods has escalated as has my indulgence in them. Isaiah 57:14-15 challenges me to remove the obstacles that may keep me from a straight path. I am praying now, asking the Lord to show me if I need a season of giving up any sweet foods (sugar is in everything, so I can't claim that I would ever be led to stop eating "sugar" as that means peanut butter, barbeque sauce and other unlikely sources for sugar).
Regardless, I know it is time for some sort of boundary.
True repentance:
It is turning completely away from sin, doing an about face, and then pursuing God with a reckless abandon. And it is also sorrowing over sin to such an extent that the heart begins to hate the sin and turns from it. This is repentance, and if either of these elements are missing the freedom from sin will not be lasting. If one merely feels sorrow over the sin but does not turn from it then he is not free. Or if one merely turns from the sin but does not develop a heart-sorrow over it he is not free either. Both must be present in the life. (TLT, p. 43)
I would highlight that in a way there is a third element...he mentions it as part of the first, but to me 1.) turning away from sin 2.) turning to God 3.) hating the sin that I have turned away from.
For me, it isn't just sinful eating I want to be free from. I can do that and have...for over 2 years now. I want to be free from sinful thinking about food. That is why I returned to The Lord's Table workbook and picked up the Freedom from Emotional Eating workbook. I want to change the way I think about food or about eating...or about NOT eating!!!
Summary: True repentance is characterized by true change. There is an earnestness to be done with sin, a longing for holiness, a zeal for living differently, for praising and worshiping God, a humility of heart. Worldly sorrow doesn't cut it...being sorry for the consequences just isn't repentance.
This lesson builds on previous lessons that have been shared.
Repentance brings with it a "godly sorrow" and this godly sorrow is crucial to victory over sin. (TLT p. 41)
2 Corinthians 7:8-13 is the focus passage for this lesson.
We need to pray for sorrow in our hearts as we repent from over-eating. (TLT, p. 41)
The author explains that the teaching that overeating is sin is difficult to swallow and most diets, programs and "experts" will minimize this or avoid or deny it all together. They will often, instead, indicate that changing the food is the answer or exercising more.
But the fact is, the thought that overeating is a sin is TRUTH.
Freedom comes through embracing truth and truth often times wounds us. (TLT, p. 42)
Right now, the truth is hard for me...and that is, my having turned my back on diet soda all together has shown me just how connected I am to sweet-tasting foods. As I have stopped drinking diet soda at all, my lust for sweet foods has escalated as has my indulgence in them. Isaiah 57:14-15 challenges me to remove the obstacles that may keep me from a straight path. I am praying now, asking the Lord to show me if I need a season of giving up any sweet foods (sugar is in everything, so I can't claim that I would ever be led to stop eating "sugar" as that means peanut butter, barbeque sauce and other unlikely sources for sugar).
Regardless, I know it is time for some sort of boundary.
True repentance:
It is turning completely away from sin, doing an about face, and then pursuing God with a reckless abandon. And it is also sorrowing over sin to such an extent that the heart begins to hate the sin and turns from it. This is repentance, and if either of these elements are missing the freedom from sin will not be lasting. If one merely feels sorrow over the sin but does not turn from it then he is not free. Or if one merely turns from the sin but does not develop a heart-sorrow over it he is not free either. Both must be present in the life. (TLT, p. 43)
I would highlight that in a way there is a third element...he mentions it as part of the first, but to me 1.) turning away from sin 2.) turning to God 3.) hating the sin that I have turned away from.
For me, it isn't just sinful eating I want to be free from. I can do that and have...for over 2 years now. I want to be free from sinful thinking about food. That is why I returned to The Lord's Table workbook and picked up the Freedom from Emotional Eating workbook. I want to change the way I think about food or about eating...or about NOT eating!!!
Summary: True repentance is characterized by true change. There is an earnestness to be done with sin, a longing for holiness, a zeal for living differently, for praising and worshiping God, a humility of heart. Worldly sorrow doesn't cut it...being sorry for the consequences just isn't repentance.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Day 12 of TLT - "Repentance Brings Refreshment"
If you are like me and had some time in Weigh Down Workshop (WD or WDW), then you may feel this little bit of chafing when you think of the word "repentance."
Without going into the details about why, you know it if you are like me in this respect.
I want to ask God (again) to help me to recapture HIS meaning for this word, this concept. HE is the one who created it. No matter how it is misused or abused by HUMANS, it is HIS fullest intention that I experience the blessings of repentance and know that it is His kindness that leads me to repentance.
That aside, I will continue to share about the lessons in The Lord's Table (the workbook). Today's lesson is so powerful and encouraging...it is hard to pull tidbits out without telling the entire thing! You will have to trust me on this one! This lesson is one of those that could make the workbook worth getting all by itself! :-) It is *that* good.
This is what I wrote this morning in my journal...
Right now today I know I have only turned part of the way. (In reference to Day 11 speaking of turning FROM sin and turning TO God being the two parts to repentance.) I end up turning away (or DO I?) from the sin. But in my stubbornness and pride I don't turn TO God.
This lesson was based on a comparison between two verses:
Ecclesiastes 6:7 All a man's labor is for his mouth and yet the appetite is not satisfied.
and
Joel 2:26 You will have plenty to eat and be satisfied and praise the name of the LORD your God who has dealt wondrously with you; then my people will never be put to shame.
The question is, how can we go from the Ecclesaistes 6:7 experience to the Joel 2:26 experience?
In the past, I would spend SO much time, energy, thought on food. I would plan for it, yearn for it, go get it, sit down and eat it...manipulate who it would be done with and what we would be doing. Saturday nights were the BIG night for all our favorite shows...Star Trek, Hercules, Xena and the nachos, popcorn, soda, ice cream sundaes...it went on and on. It was a food fest...(This was a LONG time ago!) All my efforts were like Ecclesiastes says...and yet the deep heart hunger that motivated this so much could never be satisfied by food. It wasn't possible. That old shoving of the square peg (food) into the round hole (God-shaped hole in my heart), once again.
So, how can I experience what Joel 2:26 speaks of...that eating "plenty" and being "satisfied" and PRAISE the LORD.
It is Repentance...yes, once again.
Joel 2:12-13 says: "Yet even now," declares the Lord, "Return to Me with all your heart, adn with fasting, weeping and mourning; and rend your heart and not your garments. Now return to the LORD your God, for He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in loving kindness and relenting of evil..."
This is compared to another verse which I included yesterday:
Acts 3:19-20 Therefore, repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord and that he may send Jesus, the Christ appointed for you.
When I repent and return:
1. My sins are wiped away
2. I experience refreshment!
3. I experience HIS presence.
4. I experience the closeness of Jesus Himself.
Repentance brings spiritual refreshment and heart satisfaction in Christ. (TLT, p. 38)
But my repentance must be to leave sin AND to turn TO God. I turn my back on sin, perhaps, but because I don't feast on the Lord, don't pray, journal, read, praise Him...SOMETHING--the emptiness remains and the food (or diet soda) continues to call out and it is more of a battle than it needs to be. God never intended these things to torment me! When I am in that place it is all about self-effort...the old "pick yourself up by your bootstraps" mentality...and not at all about the power and sufficiency of God!...and definitely NOT refreshment!
If I am not experiencing refreshment, then maybe what I have done is NOT true repentance! OOoooh! Powerful truth!
From Joel 2:21-27 there are so many more blessings listed that come from repentance as well.
* rejoicing
* gladness
* praising God--He has done great things!
* lack of fear
* fruitfulness
* abundance
* redeeming of the years the locusts have eaten
* plenty to eat
* satisfaction
* no shame
* His presence experienced!
Again, if I am not experiencing these things, maybe I haven't truly repented, but just done the "half turn."
On page 39, Mike Cleveland explains that Christians like to call overeating a weakness, but not a sin. Then he explains why overeating is a sin. He uses scripture and it is compelling. I simply must quote him for what I feel is one of the best quotes in the entire program:
You see, if we fail to call overeating sin, then we miss out on the blessings of repentance. Why not rather call overeating by the biblical term of "gluttony" so that we can see the need to repent? And as we repent we will experience such sweet refreshment from the Lord, such satisfaction from the Lord, such enjoyment in the Lord, that we will wonder why we weren't ever told this truth before. (TLT p. 40)
Summary: If I don't experience refreshment and joy, then perhaps what I have done is not true biblical repentance. Maybe I have turned away from sin, but have I truly turned TO the Lord? Am I letting HIM be my satisfaction? Or am I longingly looking back at the sin that I have resisted... There is no joy or repentance in that.
Without going into the details about why, you know it if you are like me in this respect.
I want to ask God (again) to help me to recapture HIS meaning for this word, this concept. HE is the one who created it. No matter how it is misused or abused by HUMANS, it is HIS fullest intention that I experience the blessings of repentance and know that it is His kindness that leads me to repentance.
That aside, I will continue to share about the lessons in The Lord's Table (the workbook). Today's lesson is so powerful and encouraging...it is hard to pull tidbits out without telling the entire thing! You will have to trust me on this one! This lesson is one of those that could make the workbook worth getting all by itself! :-) It is *that* good.
This is what I wrote this morning in my journal...
Right now today I know I have only turned part of the way. (In reference to Day 11 speaking of turning FROM sin and turning TO God being the two parts to repentance.) I end up turning away (or DO I?) from the sin. But in my stubbornness and pride I don't turn TO God.
This lesson was based on a comparison between two verses:
Ecclesiastes 6:7 All a man's labor is for his mouth and yet the appetite is not satisfied.
and
Joel 2:26 You will have plenty to eat and be satisfied and praise the name of the LORD your God who has dealt wondrously with you; then my people will never be put to shame.
The question is, how can we go from the Ecclesaistes 6:7 experience to the Joel 2:26 experience?
In the past, I would spend SO much time, energy, thought on food. I would plan for it, yearn for it, go get it, sit down and eat it...manipulate who it would be done with and what we would be doing. Saturday nights were the BIG night for all our favorite shows...Star Trek, Hercules, Xena and the nachos, popcorn, soda, ice cream sundaes...it went on and on. It was a food fest...(This was a LONG time ago!) All my efforts were like Ecclesiastes says...and yet the deep heart hunger that motivated this so much could never be satisfied by food. It wasn't possible. That old shoving of the square peg (food) into the round hole (God-shaped hole in my heart), once again.
So, how can I experience what Joel 2:26 speaks of...that eating "plenty" and being "satisfied" and PRAISE the LORD.
It is Repentance...yes, once again.
Joel 2:12-13 says: "Yet even now," declares the Lord, "Return to Me with all your heart, adn with fasting, weeping and mourning; and rend your heart and not your garments. Now return to the LORD your God, for He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in loving kindness and relenting of evil..."
This is compared to another verse which I included yesterday:
Acts 3:19-20 Therefore, repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord and that he may send Jesus, the Christ appointed for you.
When I repent and return:
1. My sins are wiped away
2. I experience refreshment!
3. I experience HIS presence.
4. I experience the closeness of Jesus Himself.
Repentance brings spiritual refreshment and heart satisfaction in Christ. (TLT, p. 38)
But my repentance must be to leave sin AND to turn TO God. I turn my back on sin, perhaps, but because I don't feast on the Lord, don't pray, journal, read, praise Him...SOMETHING--the emptiness remains and the food (or diet soda) continues to call out and it is more of a battle than it needs to be. God never intended these things to torment me! When I am in that place it is all about self-effort...the old "pick yourself up by your bootstraps" mentality...and not at all about the power and sufficiency of God!...and definitely NOT refreshment!
If I am not experiencing refreshment, then maybe what I have done is NOT true repentance! OOoooh! Powerful truth!
From Joel 2:21-27 there are so many more blessings listed that come from repentance as well.
* rejoicing
* gladness
* praising God--He has done great things!
* lack of fear
* fruitfulness
* abundance
* redeeming of the years the locusts have eaten
* plenty to eat
* satisfaction
* no shame
* His presence experienced!
Again, if I am not experiencing these things, maybe I haven't truly repented, but just done the "half turn."
On page 39, Mike Cleveland explains that Christians like to call overeating a weakness, but not a sin. Then he explains why overeating is a sin. He uses scripture and it is compelling. I simply must quote him for what I feel is one of the best quotes in the entire program:
You see, if we fail to call overeating sin, then we miss out on the blessings of repentance. Why not rather call overeating by the biblical term of "gluttony" so that we can see the need to repent? And as we repent we will experience such sweet refreshment from the Lord, such satisfaction from the Lord, such enjoyment in the Lord, that we will wonder why we weren't ever told this truth before. (TLT p. 40)
Summary: If I don't experience refreshment and joy, then perhaps what I have done is not true biblical repentance. Maybe I have turned away from sin, but have I truly turned TO the Lord? Am I letting HIM be my satisfaction? Or am I longingly looking back at the sin that I have resisted... There is no joy or repentance in that.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Day 11 of TLT - "Turning"
1 Thessalonians 1:4-10 found here.
vs. 9 says: ...you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God...
Often we grit out teeth and try to turn away from our habits of over eating by sheer will power and determination. Even those of us who are believers in the Lord Jesus, who know we have the Spirit of God living within, may try a "Christianized" version of this "by the bootstraps" exertion...
But do we *hate* our sin? Do we even look at it as sin?
Notice in the verse above that the Thessalonians hadn't just turned FROM idolatry. They turned TO God to serve him. This is vital. The author of TLT mentions that apart from turning TO God, our turn is only 90 degrees. It isn't the entire 180 degree turn needed to see lasting change all the way through to our heart.
True repentance is not only turning from sin, it is turning to God and loving and serving Him. (p. 35, TLT)
I could identify very much (even TODAY) with Mike Cleveland when he shared on page 35, "...I finally discovered that my repentance was not genuine, but rather was simply 'feeling badly' about my failure, rather than a complete turn away from it and turning to God."
I can so relate to this TODAY. Since making a break from diet soda of any kind, I have found what I suspected to be true, IS. My continued attachment to diet soda was intricately connected to the stronghold of food...the sweetness of diet soda has often been used by me to "reward" me, to "celebrate," and all the very same things that I have used food for in the past. After making it through a very stressful drive through the canyon with my son who is learning to drive, my first thought was "I must have a soda!" To reward myself and to decompress the stress! It was brought home so clearly that I haven't really dealt with the deeper heart issue of repentance and turning TO God if I yet depend on diet soda. Yes, physically, outwardly, my body remains it's "God-given size." But my heart hasn't yet given up the TASTE. I still want my taste buds to have the RIGHT (eek!) to enjoy the flavor of sweet...and the texture of the bubbles...
Now that I have cut myself away from that, I find myself drawing back to food lustfully. See, the soda masked that the problem in my heart was still there! I had "fixed the food" instead of allowing God to really fix my heart connection to the taste of sweet.
So the past three days especially, I have found myself willing to totally violate my own boundaries with night time eating of cookies...and I think somewhere in my mind I have had this thought, "I gave up soda, Lord, like you asked...you have asked me for years to hand it to you...so I should get SOMETHING in return for that!" Ugh...such arrogance and pride.
Clearly, a heart problem.
We must put our backs to the sin and walk away from it. And we must face Christ and walk towards Him. No half-hearted turning will free us from the power of sin; no partial turning will enable us to escape the temptation to overeat. (p. 35 TLT)
In my case, my partial turning was evident by my insistence on retaining a grip on diet soda. Yes, I have had times where I let go of caffeine and cut back on the soda consumption, but NEVER completely let it go...ALL of it.
This time, I have turned my back on the soda...but I didn't turn TO God, to let HIM be my sufficiency and strength. TO love and serve the one TRUE GOD. So my repentance was partial and not really repentance at all.
One of the testimonies in TLT on page 36, was shared by "Nancy" who said: The evil is not in the eating [or the drinking]...my food [or drink] consumed my every thought. I arranged my day around it. Instead of calling to God in prayer, I stood at the cupboard or refrigerator seeking not God but food [or soda]. That is the sin. Food [and soda] was my god. That is what is wicked, as I had another idol.
Oh, how clearly I see this now. It isn't about the food or the drink. It never is. Certainly we have to eat and drink to live. But it is about my HEART.
Read Isaiah 55:6-7 here.
There are four elements of repentance that can be drawn from this passage. I won't list them here, but can you see them?
The author of TLT summarizes: It is not as if we're merely turning away from sin only to be left empty and with no excitement or fulfillment in life. You see, as we turn from overeating and turn to God there is a blessed life of satisfaction and joy to be found in Jesus Christ. In reality, we are leaving the lesser and termporary pleasures for the greater and eternal ones. Yes, we are giving up the pleasures of sin, but we are gaining the pleasures of Christ and Psalm 16:11 describes the pleasures of Christ as eternal. (p. 37 TLT)
Romans 2:4 Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance?
Repentance, as it says in this lesson of TLT, is a by-product of God's grace. His grace! Or like Beth Moore said at last week's Breaking Free taping, we tend to think of repentance as our punishment...but it is a gift! Our right in Christ! He paid with his blood that we might experience God's kindness leading us toward repentance.
Summary in Short:
True repentance is turning from sin in deed and thought and turning TO God's ways. I know that I need not just to repent of my deeds, but of my lustful thoughts of food (or soda) as well. I can't leave it there, either. I must turn TO God...to His Word, to prayer, to serving Him, to chasing hard after Him to love Him more. I know that it is His kindness that leads me to this place. He *grants* repentance in my heart as a gift.
vs. 9 says: ...you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God...
Often we grit out teeth and try to turn away from our habits of over eating by sheer will power and determination. Even those of us who are believers in the Lord Jesus, who know we have the Spirit of God living within, may try a "Christianized" version of this "by the bootstraps" exertion...
But do we *hate* our sin? Do we even look at it as sin?
Notice in the verse above that the Thessalonians hadn't just turned FROM idolatry. They turned TO God to serve him. This is vital. The author of TLT mentions that apart from turning TO God, our turn is only 90 degrees. It isn't the entire 180 degree turn needed to see lasting change all the way through to our heart.
True repentance is not only turning from sin, it is turning to God and loving and serving Him. (p. 35, TLT)
I could identify very much (even TODAY) with Mike Cleveland when he shared on page 35, "...I finally discovered that my repentance was not genuine, but rather was simply 'feeling badly' about my failure, rather than a complete turn away from it and turning to God."
I can so relate to this TODAY. Since making a break from diet soda of any kind, I have found what I suspected to be true, IS. My continued attachment to diet soda was intricately connected to the stronghold of food...the sweetness of diet soda has often been used by me to "reward" me, to "celebrate," and all the very same things that I have used food for in the past. After making it through a very stressful drive through the canyon with my son who is learning to drive, my first thought was "I must have a soda!" To reward myself and to decompress the stress! It was brought home so clearly that I haven't really dealt with the deeper heart issue of repentance and turning TO God if I yet depend on diet soda. Yes, physically, outwardly, my body remains it's "God-given size." But my heart hasn't yet given up the TASTE. I still want my taste buds to have the RIGHT (eek!) to enjoy the flavor of sweet...and the texture of the bubbles...
Now that I have cut myself away from that, I find myself drawing back to food lustfully. See, the soda masked that the problem in my heart was still there! I had "fixed the food" instead of allowing God to really fix my heart connection to the taste of sweet.
So the past three days especially, I have found myself willing to totally violate my own boundaries with night time eating of cookies...and I think somewhere in my mind I have had this thought, "I gave up soda, Lord, like you asked...you have asked me for years to hand it to you...so I should get SOMETHING in return for that!" Ugh...such arrogance and pride.
Clearly, a heart problem.
We must put our backs to the sin and walk away from it. And we must face Christ and walk towards Him. No half-hearted turning will free us from the power of sin; no partial turning will enable us to escape the temptation to overeat. (p. 35 TLT)
In my case, my partial turning was evident by my insistence on retaining a grip on diet soda. Yes, I have had times where I let go of caffeine and cut back on the soda consumption, but NEVER completely let it go...ALL of it.
This time, I have turned my back on the soda...but I didn't turn TO God, to let HIM be my sufficiency and strength. TO love and serve the one TRUE GOD. So my repentance was partial and not really repentance at all.
One of the testimonies in TLT on page 36, was shared by "Nancy" who said: The evil is not in the eating [or the drinking]...my food [or drink] consumed my every thought. I arranged my day around it. Instead of calling to God in prayer, I stood at the cupboard or refrigerator seeking not God but food [or soda]. That is the sin. Food [and soda] was my god. That is what is wicked, as I had another idol.
Oh, how clearly I see this now. It isn't about the food or the drink. It never is. Certainly we have to eat and drink to live. But it is about my HEART.
Read Isaiah 55:6-7 here.
There are four elements of repentance that can be drawn from this passage. I won't list them here, but can you see them?
The author of TLT summarizes: It is not as if we're merely turning away from sin only to be left empty and with no excitement or fulfillment in life. You see, as we turn from overeating and turn to God there is a blessed life of satisfaction and joy to be found in Jesus Christ. In reality, we are leaving the lesser and termporary pleasures for the greater and eternal ones. Yes, we are giving up the pleasures of sin, but we are gaining the pleasures of Christ and Psalm 16:11 describes the pleasures of Christ as eternal. (p. 37 TLT)
Romans 2:4 Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance?
Repentance, as it says in this lesson of TLT, is a by-product of God's grace. His grace! Or like Beth Moore said at last week's Breaking Free taping, we tend to think of repentance as our punishment...but it is a gift! Our right in Christ! He paid with his blood that we might experience God's kindness leading us toward repentance.
Summary in Short:
True repentance is turning from sin in deed and thought and turning TO God's ways. I know that I need not just to repent of my deeds, but of my lustful thoughts of food (or soda) as well. I can't leave it there, either. I must turn TO God...to His Word, to prayer, to serving Him, to chasing hard after Him to love Him more. I know that it is His kindness that leads me to this place. He *grants* repentance in my heart as a gift.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Jesus Sympathizes!
Hebrews 4:15 says:
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin.
Catch this...Jesus sympathizes with our weakness.
He isn't looking you (or me) over with a disapproving glare because we find ourselves tempted to eat...again...even when we aren't hungry.
He sympathizes with our weakness.
Oh, how I needed to hear that today!
Strong's says this word "sympathizes" means:
1) to be affected with the same feeling as another, to sympathise with
2) to feel for, have compassion on
The word for "weakness" means:
1) want of strength, weakness, infirmity
1a) of the body
1a1) its native weakness and frailty
1a2) feebleness of health or sickness
1b) of the soul
1b1) want of strength and capacity requisite
1b1a) to understand a thing
1b1b) to do things great and glorious
1b1c) to restrain corrupt desires
1b1d) to bear trials and troubles
I am encouraged. Thank you, Lord, for that word of encouragement.
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin.
Catch this...Jesus sympathizes with our weakness.
He isn't looking you (or me) over with a disapproving glare because we find ourselves tempted to eat...again...even when we aren't hungry.
He sympathizes with our weakness.
Oh, how I needed to hear that today!
Strong's says this word "sympathizes" means:
1) to be affected with the same feeling as another, to sympathise with
2) to feel for, have compassion on
The word for "weakness" means:
1) want of strength, weakness, infirmity
1a) of the body
1a1) its native weakness and frailty
1a2) feebleness of health or sickness
1b) of the soul
1b1) want of strength and capacity requisite
1b1a) to understand a thing
1b1b) to do things great and glorious
1b1c) to restrain corrupt desires
1b1d) to bear trials and troubles
I am encouraged. Thank you, Lord, for that word of encouragement.
Day Ten of TLT - More Living Water
Overeating, in its essential allurement, promises to quench our thirst. In other words, it promises satisfaction. And honestly, it does satisfy--but only for a time. Pretty soon we discover we are "thirsty" again, and as the years go by we find that we are reallly never genuinely satisfied. Right? That is because sin never purely satisfies! It depletes us, not fulfills us. (page 31, The Lord's Table)
This lesson in TLT, continued the thoughts from Day Nine. Truthfully, this "allurement" is an excellent place to "truth journal" as I mentioned in yesterday's entry. If I believe that there will be joy in eating outside of godly boundaries, the truth is, that "joy" is fleeting, not complete and abiding which is the nature of the joy that Jesus promises.
As I did this lesson, I was reminded of living in the past...when I would "give myself over" to my gluttony...literally, abandoning myself to it. It resulted in a wall between the Lord and myself (self-imposed, as he was always eager and willing to have me return to him). And I could never get enough food to satisfy. It was as if I was attempting to drink salt water to satisfy a thirst. It got so much worse. The emptiness increased.
...the habitual sin of overeating...can soon become a life-dominating sin. Eating food is good and right, and can be a worshipful experience when done for the glory of God. It is not eating food that is the problem, it is overeating. (Page 34, The Lord's Table)
Summary of Day 10: The Living Water -- Jesus -- satisfies. All attempts to fill the emptiness in other ways actually results in greater emptiness. It's like treating thirst with salt water. God has created me with a need for Him. As I turn to Him to fill that hole, I WILL be satisfied. If I insist on filling that hole with something else--like food--the hole will only get larger and the emptiness deeper. I will choose Him today.
This lesson in TLT, continued the thoughts from Day Nine. Truthfully, this "allurement" is an excellent place to "truth journal" as I mentioned in yesterday's entry. If I believe that there will be joy in eating outside of godly boundaries, the truth is, that "joy" is fleeting, not complete and abiding which is the nature of the joy that Jesus promises.
As I did this lesson, I was reminded of living in the past...when I would "give myself over" to my gluttony...literally, abandoning myself to it. It resulted in a wall between the Lord and myself (self-imposed, as he was always eager and willing to have me return to him). And I could never get enough food to satisfy. It was as if I was attempting to drink salt water to satisfy a thirst. It got so much worse. The emptiness increased.
...the habitual sin of overeating...can soon become a life-dominating sin. Eating food is good and right, and can be a worshipful experience when done for the glory of God. It is not eating food that is the problem, it is overeating. (Page 34, The Lord's Table)
Summary of Day 10: The Living Water -- Jesus -- satisfies. All attempts to fill the emptiness in other ways actually results in greater emptiness. It's like treating thirst with salt water. God has created me with a need for Him. As I turn to Him to fill that hole, I WILL be satisfied. If I insist on filling that hole with something else--like food--the hole will only get larger and the emptiness deeper. I will choose Him today.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Emotional Eating
I plan on returning to summaries of The Lord's Table soon, but today, I could tell I needed to deal with some things. I turned to "Freedom from Emotional Eating," by Barb Raveling, instead of working on The Lord's Table.
Yes...this is what I needed. What I need. Present tense.
Yesterday, I struggled a lot with urges to eat and to revert back to drinking soda. I didn't give in to the soda drinking. (I will write about this another time, as I think diet soda has been a huge stronghold in my past...one I never totally resolved to give up, but have now...hopefully, permanently.)
I was amazed at how drawn to food and soda I felt all day.
My accountability partner asked the right questions of me and prompted me to allow God to help me work through this. My tendency was to just "blow it off" as "Ok, so I am feeling emotional." But to be honest with you, calling it emotional eating without DEALING with it, isn't even as good as throwing a band-aid on it. It is like seeing a wound and saying "Yup, it is bleeding" and leaving it at that.
In Barb Raveling's workbook, "Freedom from Emotional Eating," the reader is urged to go beyond recognizing there are emotional triggers, to actually doing something about it...to speaking TRUTH into the situation. This is done through "truth journaling." This is a remarkably simple thing to do, I found, yet profound.
The enemy seeks to take us captive by messing with our heads...the old "You deserve to eat this..." or "You will feel better if you have that..." thing.
Truth journaling happens in a couple of ways. One is to call a lie a lie regarding this notion that food will make me feel better when I am emotional. It doesn't. Not only does it NOT make me feel better five minutes from now (after I have inhaled it), but it makes things worse. I still have to deal with the emotions, but it is then compounded by the guilt and frustration with myself for trying to numb it with food. Truth journaling exposes this. And it does so very specifically...not generally, as I have just done in my explanation.
For instance, if I am tempted to eat a chocolate muffin when I am not hungry and it is because I just survived my son driving us through the canyon together (he just got his permit), I write down how I am feeling, "I want a chocolate muffin right now. I am not hungry. I want it because it will make me feel better. I deserve it for enduring the stressful drive through the canyon." I then go back and number the thoughts: 1. I want a muffin. 2. I am not hungry. 3. I think the muffin will make me feel better. 4. I deserve the muffin.
Then, for each, I label if it is a truth or lie and what the corresponding truth is for that lie:
1. True. I want the muffin. 2. True. I am not hungry. 3. LIE. The muffin will NOT make me feel better and will, in fact, make me feel worse because of how I feel when I violate my boundaries of eating only when hungry. 4. LIE. I don't "deserve" the muffin. The muffin isn't a "reward." Knowing that I have hung in there doing what God has called me to is a very great reward and I will praise God for my safety and delight in his joy over us!
Another approach is to deal with the emotions...this goes to the heart of it. I spent some time this morning doing this very thing and I feel better equipped to handle the day.
I am emotional with good reason. 1.) My son is driving now and living where we do, the roads are windy, narrow and everyone on the roads is insane. :-) 2.) My horse, Breezy, gets seen tomorrow by a specialist for what may be cancer in his eye. 3.) My schedule is so jammed full of things this week that I am overwhelmed. 4.) I have a website I am developing that has taken on a life of its own for a client who I have worked out a "trade" with and now I just want it done.
I have a strong emotional response to each of these things. This morning, as I truth journalled about some of them (and I will go back and do the others), I was able to invite God to expose the lies that are at the heart of some of my emotions about them. Certainly, while worry about Breezy is understandable, it won't help matters. In fact, Breezy senses my anxiety and it adds to his own, making it more difficult for the vet to treat him. I have anxiety about the money this will cost and, again, worry won't help this. It is what it is.
See how this works? As I allow God to speak truth into these situations, I am better equipped to pray through them and not to yearn for food which doesn't help matters anyhow. God is my healer and my helper. He knows all things. He knows right now about Breezy's eye and what is causing it.
This seems so simple right now as I share it. I almost want to delete this post because I assume people might say "Duh!" But it really IS profound.
The trick is, in the moment when I feel tempted to eat or to guzzle a diet cherry pepsi, I must be willing to stop and evaluate what is TRUTH in the situation? It isn't likely that drinking or eating something will EVER be the TRUTHful answer to what is going on.
How about you? Can you take stock and see what the truth is about why you are drawn to food? Or, at the very least, evaluate whether having this candybar or that second helping of enchiladas will *really* make you feel better, happier, whatever an hour from now? :-)
I want to live out my freedom. As Beth Moore said last week, we can't have our milestones until we can take captive the moment. I see Barb Raveling's truth journaling idea as being an invaluable way of capturing the moment for the Lord and allowing my mind to be renewed with his truth...
I hope you do, too! :-)
Yes...this is what I needed. What I need. Present tense.
Yesterday, I struggled a lot with urges to eat and to revert back to drinking soda. I didn't give in to the soda drinking. (I will write about this another time, as I think diet soda has been a huge stronghold in my past...one I never totally resolved to give up, but have now...hopefully, permanently.)
I was amazed at how drawn to food and soda I felt all day.
My accountability partner asked the right questions of me and prompted me to allow God to help me work through this. My tendency was to just "blow it off" as "Ok, so I am feeling emotional." But to be honest with you, calling it emotional eating without DEALING with it, isn't even as good as throwing a band-aid on it. It is like seeing a wound and saying "Yup, it is bleeding" and leaving it at that.
In Barb Raveling's workbook, "Freedom from Emotional Eating," the reader is urged to go beyond recognizing there are emotional triggers, to actually doing something about it...to speaking TRUTH into the situation. This is done through "truth journaling." This is a remarkably simple thing to do, I found, yet profound.
The enemy seeks to take us captive by messing with our heads...the old "You deserve to eat this..." or "You will feel better if you have that..." thing.
Truth journaling happens in a couple of ways. One is to call a lie a lie regarding this notion that food will make me feel better when I am emotional. It doesn't. Not only does it NOT make me feel better five minutes from now (after I have inhaled it), but it makes things worse. I still have to deal with the emotions, but it is then compounded by the guilt and frustration with myself for trying to numb it with food. Truth journaling exposes this. And it does so very specifically...not generally, as I have just done in my explanation.
For instance, if I am tempted to eat a chocolate muffin when I am not hungry and it is because I just survived my son driving us through the canyon together (he just got his permit), I write down how I am feeling, "I want a chocolate muffin right now. I am not hungry. I want it because it will make me feel better. I deserve it for enduring the stressful drive through the canyon." I then go back and number the thoughts: 1. I want a muffin. 2. I am not hungry. 3. I think the muffin will make me feel better. 4. I deserve the muffin.
Then, for each, I label if it is a truth or lie and what the corresponding truth is for that lie:
1. True. I want the muffin. 2. True. I am not hungry. 3. LIE. The muffin will NOT make me feel better and will, in fact, make me feel worse because of how I feel when I violate my boundaries of eating only when hungry. 4. LIE. I don't "deserve" the muffin. The muffin isn't a "reward." Knowing that I have hung in there doing what God has called me to is a very great reward and I will praise God for my safety and delight in his joy over us!
Another approach is to deal with the emotions...this goes to the heart of it. I spent some time this morning doing this very thing and I feel better equipped to handle the day.
I am emotional with good reason. 1.) My son is driving now and living where we do, the roads are windy, narrow and everyone on the roads is insane. :-) 2.) My horse, Breezy, gets seen tomorrow by a specialist for what may be cancer in his eye. 3.) My schedule is so jammed full of things this week that I am overwhelmed. 4.) I have a website I am developing that has taken on a life of its own for a client who I have worked out a "trade" with and now I just want it done.
I have a strong emotional response to each of these things. This morning, as I truth journalled about some of them (and I will go back and do the others), I was able to invite God to expose the lies that are at the heart of some of my emotions about them. Certainly, while worry about Breezy is understandable, it won't help matters. In fact, Breezy senses my anxiety and it adds to his own, making it more difficult for the vet to treat him. I have anxiety about the money this will cost and, again, worry won't help this. It is what it is.
See how this works? As I allow God to speak truth into these situations, I am better equipped to pray through them and not to yearn for food which doesn't help matters anyhow. God is my healer and my helper. He knows all things. He knows right now about Breezy's eye and what is causing it.
This seems so simple right now as I share it. I almost want to delete this post because I assume people might say "Duh!" But it really IS profound.
The trick is, in the moment when I feel tempted to eat or to guzzle a diet cherry pepsi, I must be willing to stop and evaluate what is TRUTH in the situation? It isn't likely that drinking or eating something will EVER be the TRUTHful answer to what is going on.
How about you? Can you take stock and see what the truth is about why you are drawn to food? Or, at the very least, evaluate whether having this candybar or that second helping of enchiladas will *really* make you feel better, happier, whatever an hour from now? :-)
I want to live out my freedom. As Beth Moore said last week, we can't have our milestones until we can take captive the moment. I see Barb Raveling's truth journaling idea as being an invaluable way of capturing the moment for the Lord and allowing my mind to be renewed with his truth...
I hope you do, too! :-)
Monday, November 17, 2008
God Really IS Doing a New Thing!
Sometimes it is easy to get so fixated on ways in which I go awry, off the path, fall off the wagon, wander astray...that I fail to realize how much God has done in my life. I feel that he sometimes gives, as a gift, a reality check to remind me of where I would be apart from him.
This morning, I awakened just before the alarm went off and my thoughts went to "Oh, no! Re-entry! I can't do my life this week." I turned it to a prayer, "Lord, please help me to be able to know what is from you to do, what to let go of and to truly be able to simplify my life as you have been leading me to do."
Then, I eagerly wanted two things...1.) A shower 2.) my quiet time.
Before my feet hit the floor the Spirit whispered to my heart how far He has brought me that my first thoughts were these. While I am someone that God has wired to depend on my quiet time and to love it first thing in the morning, often in the past, my first thoughts upon awaking would be 1.) What will I eat? (no regard for hunger) and 2.) Gotta have my diet soda!
I don't think about those things any more when I wake up. This is HUGE. Today was a great illustration of this and I must rejoice at what the Lord is accomplishing. He IS at work. He IS doing a new thing. He IS completing that which He began...just like His Word promises.
What can you see in your life as outward evidences of His work in your life? Take a moment and ask the Lord to help you to have eyes to see how far He has brought you. Ask to see yourself and your life with HIS eyes and take a moment to praise Him. Even if you feel you come up empty, can you--in faith--praise Him that even now He IS doing a new thing in you? That He IS completing that which he began in you? :-)
This morning, I awakened just before the alarm went off and my thoughts went to "Oh, no! Re-entry! I can't do my life this week." I turned it to a prayer, "Lord, please help me to be able to know what is from you to do, what to let go of and to truly be able to simplify my life as you have been leading me to do."
Then, I eagerly wanted two things...1.) A shower 2.) my quiet time.
Before my feet hit the floor the Spirit whispered to my heart how far He has brought me that my first thoughts were these. While I am someone that God has wired to depend on my quiet time and to love it first thing in the morning, often in the past, my first thoughts upon awaking would be 1.) What will I eat? (no regard for hunger) and 2.) Gotta have my diet soda!
I don't think about those things any more when I wake up. This is HUGE. Today was a great illustration of this and I must rejoice at what the Lord is accomplishing. He IS at work. He IS doing a new thing. He IS completing that which He began...just like His Word promises.
What can you see in your life as outward evidences of His work in your life? Take a moment and ask the Lord to help you to have eyes to see how far He has brought you. Ask to see yourself and your life with HIS eyes and take a moment to praise Him. Even if you feel you come up empty, can you--in faith--praise Him that even now He IS doing a new thing in you? That He IS completing that which he began in you? :-)
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Breaking Free Session 09 and 10 in Brief
Beth referred to 2 Timothy 3:1-7 for session 9. Beth Moore turned the focus just a bit from captivity of habitual sin to the fact that relationships can often become strongholds. Or that is how I interpret the gist of it...and it definitely applies in my own life.
Just some short thoughts that came of this session for me...
* Relationships can be toxic. There are typically red flares that the Lord will give us--checks in our spirit--to let us know that something is up. That something is potentially toxic or just not right. We need to refuse to be taken into captivity. We must flee at times like these...or often enough.
* Healthy relationships grow. Beware of instant intimacy. (I would add that this is potentially true especially with internet "relationships.")
* My "soulmate" is Jesus Christ alone.
Session 10
* If I am struggling with breaking free, ask the question, "What am I afraid of?" Perhaps there is also a stronghold of fear. God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of love, power and a sound mind.
* I am a "warrior princess." This is a battle and I have divine weapons to DEMOLISH strongholds.
* Evaluate which fight is really the right fight. Don't expend energy on the lesser things, but some things are worth fighting for...my children, my marriage, for example.
* When people are still in bondage and I feel an agitation in my spirit because they refuse to be free, I need to extend them grace and truth.
* I must take heed when I think I stand, lest I fall.
* Freedom is NO sin ruling over me habitually.
* I must keep in the battle with the double-edge sword in my hand.
Just some short thoughts that came of this session for me...
* Relationships can be toxic. There are typically red flares that the Lord will give us--checks in our spirit--to let us know that something is up. That something is potentially toxic or just not right. We need to refuse to be taken into captivity. We must flee at times like these...or often enough.
* Healthy relationships grow. Beware of instant intimacy. (I would add that this is potentially true especially with internet "relationships.")
* My "soulmate" is Jesus Christ alone.
Session 10
* If I am struggling with breaking free, ask the question, "What am I afraid of?" Perhaps there is also a stronghold of fear. God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of love, power and a sound mind.
* I am a "warrior princess." This is a battle and I have divine weapons to DEMOLISH strongholds.
* Evaluate which fight is really the right fight. Don't expend energy on the lesser things, but some things are worth fighting for...my children, my marriage, for example.
* When people are still in bondage and I feel an agitation in my spirit because they refuse to be free, I need to extend them grace and truth.
* I must take heed when I think I stand, lest I fall.
* Freedom is NO sin ruling over me habitually.
* I must keep in the battle with the double-edge sword in my hand.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Sessions 9 and 10
Quick note...the power was out...in the sanctuary this moring. On in the adjoining building. Just after Lisa had finished sharing some wonderful worship with us and we had been praising the Lord together all the power went out.
The LORD was glorified, however! What the enemy meant to derail us, was used by the Lord to exalt HIM and to delight HIS people! We prayed in small groups, shared together about what God is telling us through this week's material. We then praised him and Beth came out and asked for testimonies of freedom! WOW!!!! It was amazing.
The power came back on and we finished both sessions 9 and 10 only 90 minutes later than planned (I think it was).
I will share thoughts on those tomorrow. At the airport now, waiting to fly back to my man and my children! PRAISE GOD!
The LORD was glorified, however! What the enemy meant to derail us, was used by the Lord to exalt HIM and to delight HIS people! We prayed in small groups, shared together about what God is telling us through this week's material. We then praised him and Beth came out and asked for testimonies of freedom! WOW!!!! It was amazing.
The power came back on and we finished both sessions 9 and 10 only 90 minutes later than planned (I think it was).
I will share thoughts on those tomorrow. At the airport now, waiting to fly back to my man and my children! PRAISE GOD!
Breaking Free Session 08 - Taping Thoughts in Brief
Beth pointed out the value of loving the Lord...that it motivates our obedience, motivates perseverance, provides protection and empowers love for others. She also pointed out that so often we think love for God is going to be different than love we have, say, for our dearest family members. She asked us to consider why? If we love our child or grandchild, for instance, how do we know? We feel it deeply. She asked us to question why we expect our love for God not to be a feeling love and challenged us to ask God to give us that kind of love for him...a love that acts, yes, but a love that feels as well.
She pointed out that we can pray asking God to give us a heart-felt, zealous, passion for Him...a love for him that is unrivaled. He WILL answer that prayer as it is a prayer prayed in his will.
We love him at all because he first loved us. I was moved when she asked us to consider instead of saying "I love you, Lord," to say for a season, "I love you, too..." as it reinforces the vital truth that I love him because he first loved me...there is never a time when I will say "I love you, Lord," that he hasn't first said, "I love you."
He initiates it.
She pointed out that we can pray asking God to give us a heart-felt, zealous, passion for Him...a love for him that is unrivaled. He WILL answer that prayer as it is a prayer prayed in his will.
We love him at all because he first loved us. I was moved when she asked us to consider instead of saying "I love you, Lord," to say for a season, "I love you, too..." as it reinforces the vital truth that I love him because he first loved me...there is never a time when I will say "I love you, Lord," that he hasn't first said, "I love you."
He initiates it.
Breaking Free Session 07 - Taping Thoughts in Brief
The "punch line" that I came home with from this session is a familiar one to me, but it is time once again. Beth spent this session speaking to the "Captivity of Activity." We trade our yoke of slavery for another yoke--Jesus' yoke--the yoke of liberty. He is our master. He is kind, gentle and humble.
She pointed out that when we are tired and do not come to him for rest, we are disobedient and surrender ground to the devil. That was a powerful truth to share. (Isaiah 28:10-13)
I want to live in his rest...
She pointed out that when we are tired and do not come to him for rest, we are disobedient and surrender ground to the devil. That was a powerful truth to share. (Isaiah 28:10-13)
I want to live in his rest...
Friday, November 14, 2008
Moosejaw and Cool Siestas Meet!
One more photo from New Orleans!
God has such a sense of humor! Last summer, during the Summer Siesta study and home grown videos that Beth Moore did for those of us joining her through Kelly Minter's No Other Gods workbook, Beth mentioned that of all the places checking in for study, her favorite American name of a town was COOL, California! WHOOO HOO! (I live there.) Her favorite international town name was one in Canada, called Moosejaw!
Guess who I met today? My siesta from Moosejaw!!!!! In the picture above we are enjoying lunch at the Camelia Grill. Julie, from Moosejaw, is on the left, me, Jan from Tulsa, and Meredith from Michigan is on the right.
How cool is that? They are staying in the same condo place as us!
Images from New Orleans
This week is quickly drawing to a close. It has been a week filled with joy and laughter, some heartache and tears, too.
This is the Breaking Free set that we have enjoyed as the backdrop all week at the church. The lady up front is Michelle Hicks. What a joy she has been! She is SO wonderful at "MC"ing these taping sessions--making all of us feel so right at home, like we are connected to one another. Below, Jan and I pose in front of the set:
At times all I *could* do was pray. My heart was heavy imagining those who had lost so very much...not just physically, but so many other things. Such devastation. Such ruin. Yet without a doubt, we know that our God can do amazing things! He trades ashes for a crown of beauty! I believe He will bring something wonderful up out of this devastation.
Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
"If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.
The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
This is the Breaking Free set that we have enjoyed as the backdrop all week at the church. The lady up front is Michelle Hicks. What a joy she has been! She is SO wonderful at "MC"ing these taping sessions--making all of us feel so right at home, like we are connected to one another. Below, Jan and I pose in front of the set:
Today has been intense. Emotionally charged. First delightful, as we have heard about Baptist Friendship House ministering to many here in New Orleans and story upon story of God's blessing and confirmation and directing of the ministry there.
Then heart-wrenching as we prayer-drove through the Lower 9th Ward of New Orleans--just next to where the levee broke after Katrina. I wanted to share a couple of images from this prayer-drive that we went on, praying as we went and getting out to pray as well.
Then heart-wrenching as we prayer-drove through the Lower 9th Ward of New Orleans--just next to where the levee broke after Katrina. I wanted to share a couple of images from this prayer-drive that we went on, praying as we went and getting out to pray as well.
The image immediately above is a close up of the house above...devastation inside and all around it. The house is a shell...still stands and scrawled in spray paint on the outside, a testimonial... "This was home..." Oh, how my heart aches!
So much of the land has been flattened...the homes bull-dozed. Deposits of hope, anticipating return, some parcels are well manicured and lovingly cared for despite the lack of a house present on the site.
Others, were gutted, ruined...and no indication of anyone with any hope to return.
At times all I *could* do was pray. My heart was heavy imagining those who had lost so very much...not just physically, but so many other things. Such devastation. Such ruin. Yet without a doubt, we know that our God can do amazing things! He trades ashes for a crown of beauty! I believe He will bring something wonderful up out of this devastation.
We got out of our van and prayed for the people that have been hit by the devastation. This particular spot in the photo above is the home site of a lady we met who asked us if we would please stop by her home and pray that she might be able to return there.
I can't help but think that the passage found in Isaiah 58 has a real-live, modern-day application now.
Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins,
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.
Isaiah 58:12
I believe God IS doing a new thing. It is springing up and we must beg him to help us see it and to pray for it and participate in it! I don't know what shape it will take...and He is about the business of the eternal first and foremost. I anticipate that it will be a light that will be evident across our land...I think he can use this to bring revival to our country.
I know this...the people I have encountered in New Orleans have been amazing. Just tenacious, polite (except when driving...LOL!) and so kind--ready to tell their story to any listening ear. I simply must come back and participate in some of the relief work...it is on my heart and I hope to investigate that.
I think so much of this has to do with experiencing freedom in our lives from strongholds. At least if the Word of God is true (and it is!) it does. From Isaiah 58:9-11:
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
"If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.
The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Breaking Free Session 06 - Taping Thoughts in Brief
It is sad to say, but by the time Beth did this message, my head was really congested and I wasn't following much of what was going on, but I know it was GOOD! :-)
One of the things I appreciated about this was the way Beth spoke the truth about how we often hide our authenticity behind one thing and another. In fact, we may have disappointment in the choices God has made in our lives...and this can cause a stronghold in our lives. This is precisely what I mean when I have shared that we need to forgive God! Not in the sense that God does wrong, because he doesn't. But in the sense that I perceive he has done me wrong and I feel resentment...I need to be authentic with him. When my theology (that good Christian girls don't get upset with God) gets in the way of my authenticity ("God, I don't understand that if you are good all the time, why you have allowed this, or ordained it?") I believe we are out of God's will. In fact, God doesn't care as much about our right theology as he does that we are his and humble before him, bringing him all our broken pieces, our empty places and our lack of understanding as to why he has allowed what he has.
Bring it to him. He can take it. In fact, he records numerous times that the psalmists did precisely that in the psalms. He can take our true feelings. Why pretend?
Sorry...that stuff was my own rambling. Don't blame Beth for that.
Some important things that came of this session:
* Even the most faithful believers will be entrusted with trials.
* Even when our own actions have brought painful trials on us, God is working it for our good.
* The only discipline he puts us through is that which will heal.
One of the things I appreciated about this was the way Beth spoke the truth about how we often hide our authenticity behind one thing and another. In fact, we may have disappointment in the choices God has made in our lives...and this can cause a stronghold in our lives. This is precisely what I mean when I have shared that we need to forgive God! Not in the sense that God does wrong, because he doesn't. But in the sense that I perceive he has done me wrong and I feel resentment...I need to be authentic with him. When my theology (that good Christian girls don't get upset with God) gets in the way of my authenticity ("God, I don't understand that if you are good all the time, why you have allowed this, or ordained it?") I believe we are out of God's will. In fact, God doesn't care as much about our right theology as he does that we are his and humble before him, bringing him all our broken pieces, our empty places and our lack of understanding as to why he has allowed what he has.
Bring it to him. He can take it. In fact, he records numerous times that the psalmists did precisely that in the psalms. He can take our true feelings. Why pretend?
Sorry...that stuff was my own rambling. Don't blame Beth for that.
Some important things that came of this session:
* Even the most faithful believers will be entrusted with trials.
* Even when our own actions have brought painful trials on us, God is working it for our good.
* The only discipline he puts us through is that which will heal.
Breaking Free Session 05 - Taping Thoughts in Brief
My head cold that I thought I had chased off returned tonight with a vengance! So I am a bit incoherent, but wanted to take the time to jot some thoughts down about what Beth covered. I can't possibly begin to do justice with my words. In all the series that I have seen her teach, I believe none have been with such authority and power as these sessions. I know the Lord is using her mightily. Praise His Name!
I found this session intriguing. God revisted some themes again with me...even those that I have written about here. Tonights focus was the woman at the well--I wrote about her a few days ago as I shared some notes on TLT.
So I ask the Lord...what do you have for me by reminding me yet again of the emptiness of the woman at the well and all the ways in which she strives to fill that void? Don't let me miss it, Lord.
Some Beth-isms from this session:
"Desperation that is unsanctified makes us STUPID."
"Desperation can be a gift, but only when it is sanctified." -- which reminded me of the woman who grabbed at the hem of Jesus' robe. Her desperation caused her to "cross the border" (as Beth mentioned)...to go after her healing.
I want my desperation to be sanctified, to be a good thing...causing me to go after what the Lord alone can give.
Another series of "Beth-isms:"
"We uncover to excuse.
"Satan uncovers to accuse.
"Christ uncovers to diffuse."
A profound thought Beth shared has to do with if I refuse to get still, if I fill all my potentially silent times with doing, with text messaging, with email, with whatever it may be, how can I be still? And if I can't be still, how will I know HE is God? To know Him, I must allow myself to be still. Why do I run from the silence and stillness?
I found this session intriguing. God revisted some themes again with me...even those that I have written about here. Tonights focus was the woman at the well--I wrote about her a few days ago as I shared some notes on TLT.
So I ask the Lord...what do you have for me by reminding me yet again of the emptiness of the woman at the well and all the ways in which she strives to fill that void? Don't let me miss it, Lord.
Some Beth-isms from this session:
"Desperation that is unsanctified makes us STUPID."
"Desperation can be a gift, but only when it is sanctified." -- which reminded me of the woman who grabbed at the hem of Jesus' robe. Her desperation caused her to "cross the border" (as Beth mentioned)...to go after her healing.
I want my desperation to be sanctified, to be a good thing...causing me to go after what the Lord alone can give.
Another series of "Beth-isms:"
"We uncover to excuse.
"Satan uncovers to accuse.
"Christ uncovers to diffuse."
A profound thought Beth shared has to do with if I refuse to get still, if I fill all my potentially silent times with doing, with text messaging, with email, with whatever it may be, how can I be still? And if I can't be still, how will I know HE is God? To know Him, I must allow myself to be still. Why do I run from the silence and stillness?
Breaking Free Session 04 - Taping Thoughts in Brief
This session was on courage...having the courage to seek and pursue freedom no matter what our family does. They may even persecute, ridicule and play on our false guilt to get us to quit. We must have the courage to press on.
Likewise, we must realize we can't drag others to freedom. They have to want it.
Likewise, we must realize we can't drag others to freedom. They have to want it.
Breaking Free Session 03 - Taping Thoughts in Brief
I can't tell you what an incredible privilege it is for me to be at these sessions. The Lord used Breaking Free so much in my life when I was coming out of Weigh Down...truly used it to do an important work that had to be done. While I didn't experience freedom right away (I was eating the seed instead of sowing it...), it was an investment in the future work that God would do and has now done and continues to do.
I am so pleased to be a part of this.
Here are thoughts in brief about what is my favorite session so far.
If you have visited the blog or the TW forums, you know that I love to share the importance of the moment in experiencing victory. I was so encouraged to hear this session was a powerful lesson on the moment! Thank you, Lord, for that confirmation. But Beth put meat on the bones of what this means to me.
She began by sharing the valid point that prayerless lives are powerless lives. Conversely, prayerful lives are powerful lives.
She pointed out that we will never get to our "milestone" of freedom if we don't get through our moment. To grab a hold of this moment, this choice, this decision in the NOW, when I face the temptation RIGHT NOW, I can pray out to God... "Jesus! Deliver me! HELP ME!"
She further pointed out that, in that moment, there are a couple of reasons we may not choose to pray...one, is that we don't really *want* to. If we can make it a prayer of our lives that, in that moment of temptation, our "want to" will be different, we may find ourselves able to call out to the Lord. The second reason we may not pray in that moment is because we don't feel like we deserve to be free or deserve to talk to God about it.
LIES!
This was definitely my favorite session so far and I wrote notes all over my listening guide--not just in the blanks.
I love this: "God's Word was meant to apply to the ugly life and make it beautiful." Yes, Lord!
She pointed out that we will never remain free based on doing what we think we ought to. Sure, it is a good motivation for starting. But we will ultimately fall back on doing what we want. That is why we need to keep asking God to change our "want to." Ask him to help you to want to change when that moment that the temptation hits. Ask him in *advance* for that...and then make the choice in that moment. Like she said numerous times, until we can get through our moment of temptation, we won't get to our milestone. One moment after another is how it is done. It is how the territory is won for the Lord.
Some of us are in a hurry and wonder why this has to be such a long process. Beth pointed out that the Lord Jesus is all about relationship. Certainly, sometimes he does choose to deliver instantaneously. He can. But if that doesn't happen, he allows a long process so that He becomes dearer to me than my deliverance. He is more interested in my getting to know the Healer than just experiencing the Healing. He doesn't want me to miss it.
This session was absolutely incredible...(well, they all are...)
I am so pleased to be a part of this.
Here are thoughts in brief about what is my favorite session so far.
If you have visited the blog or the TW forums, you know that I love to share the importance of the moment in experiencing victory. I was so encouraged to hear this session was a powerful lesson on the moment! Thank you, Lord, for that confirmation. But Beth put meat on the bones of what this means to me.
She began by sharing the valid point that prayerless lives are powerless lives. Conversely, prayerful lives are powerful lives.
She pointed out that we will never get to our "milestone" of freedom if we don't get through our moment. To grab a hold of this moment, this choice, this decision in the NOW, when I face the temptation RIGHT NOW, I can pray out to God... "Jesus! Deliver me! HELP ME!"
She further pointed out that, in that moment, there are a couple of reasons we may not choose to pray...one, is that we don't really *want* to. If we can make it a prayer of our lives that, in that moment of temptation, our "want to" will be different, we may find ourselves able to call out to the Lord. The second reason we may not pray in that moment is because we don't feel like we deserve to be free or deserve to talk to God about it.
LIES!
This was definitely my favorite session so far and I wrote notes all over my listening guide--not just in the blanks.
I love this: "God's Word was meant to apply to the ugly life and make it beautiful." Yes, Lord!
She pointed out that we will never remain free based on doing what we think we ought to. Sure, it is a good motivation for starting. But we will ultimately fall back on doing what we want. That is why we need to keep asking God to change our "want to." Ask him to help you to want to change when that moment that the temptation hits. Ask him in *advance* for that...and then make the choice in that moment. Like she said numerous times, until we can get through our moment of temptation, we won't get to our milestone. One moment after another is how it is done. It is how the territory is won for the Lord.
Some of us are in a hurry and wonder why this has to be such a long process. Beth pointed out that the Lord Jesus is all about relationship. Certainly, sometimes he does choose to deliver instantaneously. He can. But if that doesn't happen, he allows a long process so that He becomes dearer to me than my deliverance. He is more interested in my getting to know the Healer than just experiencing the Healing. He doesn't want me to miss it.
This session was absolutely incredible...(well, they all are...)
Breaking Free Session 02 - Taping Thoughts in Brief
In this session Beth Moore talked about how crucial lies are to remaining in captivity and how vital truth is to breaking free. (There is that renewing of the mind theme again...)
No matter what my personal truth may be--my behavior, my experiences, my history, and my "genetics," IT IS NOT ABLE TO OVER-RIDE GOD's TRUTH.
I must reject lies. No more denial or self-delusion--as long as we keep pretending, we will remain in our captivity.
The fact is GOD's TRUTH SETS ME FREE. God's truth is more powerful to free me than my truth is to keep me in bondage!
Hallelujah!
No matter what my personal truth may be--my behavior, my experiences, my history, and my "genetics," IT IS NOT ABLE TO OVER-RIDE GOD's TRUTH.
I must reject lies. No more denial or self-delusion--as long as we keep pretending, we will remain in our captivity.
The fact is GOD's TRUTH SETS ME FREE. God's truth is more powerful to free me than my truth is to keep me in bondage!
Hallelujah!
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Day Nine of TLT - Living Water
I wanted to try to keep up with sharing about The Lord's Table, even though there is so much to share during the Breaking Free taping.
Please read John 4:7-30.
This lesson does a masterful job in pointing out how frequently we try to slake our thirst or quite our heart hunger in means that leave us emptier--hungrier--thirstier than when we began.
Our hearts were made for the LORD. He placed a God-shaped hole in them. Yet, like the proverbial round peg being hammered into a square hole, we keep trying to fill the God-shaped voice in us with other things. Even believers do this! We are not immune!
The woman in the scripture tried to fill the voice in her with relationships with men, only to find herself needier than before.
What are some of the things you and I turn to, trying to fill that God-shaped hole?
Certainly, food is one of them. Looking for approval of others is another one for me. To finally conquer the horsemanship issues I have with my horses (and that they have with me! LOL!). Somehow I tend to go to these things, investing myself in them, to get satisfied--but they don't fit the God-shaped hole inside of me. Running to them leaves me with hopes dashed, disappointed, and the hole seems bigger than ever.
The point of this section of scripture (or at least one of the points) is to turn to JESUS, the LIVING WATER--to invite Him to flood full the hole in my heart that only he can fill. In fact, he alone can fill all my empty places in my life.
Mike Cleveland says:
Did you know that you could cease overeating by beginning to drink? Learn how to quench your thirst in Christ and you will also satisfy your soul hunger. I can tell you that drinking of the Living Water is so pleasing to the taste and so filling that it removes the need to eat sinfully. If we think about this, it just makes sense. We had turned to food for all the wrong reasons, because of a "thirst" within our soul. A "thirst" to be loved, or because we were empty and unfulfilled, or because we needed comfort, or because we were lonely, bored or stressed. These and many more, are all "thirsts" within the soul of man and food was not designed to quench the thirst of the soul.
The Lord's Table, p. 28
Summary: There is a void in my heart that God designed to be filled with him alone. I must stop looking elsewhere for satisfaction and feast on Jesus, the Bread of Life. Drink of Jesus, the Living Water.
Application: To what do you look to silence the ache inside, to fill the emptiness? What will you do today to change this tendency? To begin to let Jesus and Jesus alone satisfy you. He is the only thing/One who can.
Please read John 4:7-30.
This lesson does a masterful job in pointing out how frequently we try to slake our thirst or quite our heart hunger in means that leave us emptier--hungrier--thirstier than when we began.
Our hearts were made for the LORD. He placed a God-shaped hole in them. Yet, like the proverbial round peg being hammered into a square hole, we keep trying to fill the God-shaped voice in us with other things. Even believers do this! We are not immune!
The woman in the scripture tried to fill the voice in her with relationships with men, only to find herself needier than before.
What are some of the things you and I turn to, trying to fill that God-shaped hole?
Certainly, food is one of them. Looking for approval of others is another one for me. To finally conquer the horsemanship issues I have with my horses (and that they have with me! LOL!). Somehow I tend to go to these things, investing myself in them, to get satisfied--but they don't fit the God-shaped hole inside of me. Running to them leaves me with hopes dashed, disappointed, and the hole seems bigger than ever.
The point of this section of scripture (or at least one of the points) is to turn to JESUS, the LIVING WATER--to invite Him to flood full the hole in my heart that only he can fill. In fact, he alone can fill all my empty places in my life.
Mike Cleveland says:
Did you know that you could cease overeating by beginning to drink? Learn how to quench your thirst in Christ and you will also satisfy your soul hunger. I can tell you that drinking of the Living Water is so pleasing to the taste and so filling that it removes the need to eat sinfully. If we think about this, it just makes sense. We had turned to food for all the wrong reasons, because of a "thirst" within our soul. A "thirst" to be loved, or because we were empty and unfulfilled, or because we needed comfort, or because we were lonely, bored or stressed. These and many more, are all "thirsts" within the soul of man and food was not designed to quench the thirst of the soul.
The Lord's Table, p. 28
Summary: There is a void in my heart that God designed to be filled with him alone. I must stop looking elsewhere for satisfaction and feast on Jesus, the Bread of Life. Drink of Jesus, the Living Water.
Application: To what do you look to silence the ache inside, to fill the emptiness? What will you do today to change this tendency? To begin to let Jesus and Jesus alone satisfy you. He is the only thing/One who can.
Breaking Free Session 01 - Taping Thoughts in Brief
Hi, all, just a summary of one of the two messages last night...just highlights as I don't want to spoil any of it for when the DVDs come out in Fall of 2009!!!
Beth did a great job teaching about the woman in Luke 8:40-48 who was desperate for healing and was willing to do anything…ANYTHING it would take to be made whole. She crossed the line of the expected, of “proper behavior.” Beth pointed out that if I am over here in my sickness and Jesus is over there with his healing, I am going to cross that line…blast through any “expectations” that others have for my behavior and grab for the hem of his robe! Do the crazy thing, be a little "radical." GO FOR IT! I WANT HEALING period! Get outta my way!
She also pointed out that we have a mistaken view of repentance…that we tend to think of repentance as our punishment! It is our right in Christ. It is our gift! We have to change our view of repentance!
One of my favorite things that Beth said and I have heard her say it in other bible studies (or maybe it is the original Breaking Free) is that often God allows a wounding…not just to hurt us, but to heal us. That by the wounds of Jesus we are healed…so too many other wounds can bring healing if we will avail ourselves to His intentions.
All about that for now! :-)
Beth did a great job teaching about the woman in Luke 8:40-48 who was desperate for healing and was willing to do anything…ANYTHING it would take to be made whole. She crossed the line of the expected, of “proper behavior.” Beth pointed out that if I am over here in my sickness and Jesus is over there with his healing, I am going to cross that line…blast through any “expectations” that others have for my behavior and grab for the hem of his robe! Do the crazy thing, be a little "radical." GO FOR IT! I WANT HEALING period! Get outta my way!
She also pointed out that we have a mistaken view of repentance…that we tend to think of repentance as our punishment! It is our right in Christ. It is our gift! We have to change our view of repentance!
One of my favorite things that Beth said and I have heard her say it in other bible studies (or maybe it is the original Breaking Free) is that often God allows a wounding…not just to hurt us, but to heal us. That by the wounds of Jesus we are healed…so too many other wounds can bring healing if we will avail ourselves to His intentions.
All about that for now! :-)
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Greetings From New Orleans! BF Intro Session in Brief
Wow...WOW! The introductory session of Beth Moore's Breaking Free taping was last night and it was...well, incredible.
It got off with a rousing start when Lisa Pierre led us in singing "Break these shackles off my feet so I can dance! I just wanna praise you, I just wanna praise you!" I shared the way God used that song in my life here at the blog a couple of months ago (including a link to the YouTube video). So I was into it for sure! :-) From the looks of the other 999 women here in New Orleans at the Franklin Avenue Baptist Church, they were too!
Some thoughts...first and foremost, when God speaks to me about the same thing numerous times in just a few days, I know I need to take note. The thought "Renewed Mind" has come up again and again. I wasn't suprised to hear it here relative to the Breaking Free study--having gone through the BF study years ago and leading a couple of groups through it, I know that renewing the mind is a vital part of breaking free. Well, that and the fact that I have seen it in my own life.
But I know God is doing another new thing! It has come up enough times that I know he wants me to catch something new. So it is my quest to be still and know that He is God and what He has to say about the renewal of my mind. It was mentioned in Freedom From Emotional Eating bible study by Barb Raveling which I started last week. I hope to share my journey through that material here after I finish sharing The Lord's Table.
The thought of the renewed mind was also the focus of the bible study we did at our Neighborhood Fellowship Group -- the focus verse being Romans 12:1-8. We talked about what it means to renew the mind.
In any event, God is up to something. I am here at this video taping. 11 intense BIBLE teaching sessions!!!!! Never have I been through something this intense...and with Beth Moore no less who is big on truth and grace...
So here are some thoughts I jotted down this morning as I reflected back on the introductory session:
The focus verse is Isaiah 61:1-4. You will probably want to look it up in your bibles. Check it out and then ask God to bring it home to your own heart.
Lord Jesus, you have been annointed and appointed to preach good news to the poor. Thank you for accepting that calling. You have been sent to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners...all of this you've done aginst evil that has previously prevailed, Lord. YOU HAVE ENDED THE REIGN OF DARKNESS IN MY LIFE.
Not only that but you are proclaiming the year of the Lord's favor. Oh, I praise you that I stand in your favor!!! You also proclaim the day of vengance of our God. The enemy will get his! You are comforting those who mourn, providing for those who grieve, and bestowing on us all a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
You are changing us -- me -- to be an oak of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor.
We will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; we will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated. Oh, Lord! How appropriate that this taping is here in New Orleans in a church that was just rebuilt after the Katrina devastation!
Lord, please help me not to miss what you want to do in me today, this week, through this bible teaching time with Beth Moore.
To preserve copyright and all of that, I won't share my notes from the session. But she used Isaiah 9:4...to speak about how there is a pattern that God sees in us before freedom and how he chooses to break us free from bondage, from the yoke, just as He did the Israelites from Midian.
She took us into the scriptures in Judges chapter 6 all the way through verses 1 through 24. If you walk through the passage, you will see the parallels, too. Here are some questions to get you thinking about it all.
1.) Who are the people that are in bondage?
2.) Describe the nature of this bondage.
3.) Go to Lifeway's Bible Tools at http://bible.lifeway.com/crossmain.asp. Click on KJV with Strongs. Then type in the little box that says "Books" the following: Judges 6. Find verse 6 and click on the word "impoverished." How would you describe the state of God's people when they were under the oppression of the Midianites based on the definition of the Hebrew Word (which is what you just found if you followed these instructions)?
Beth pointed out that bondage is anything that hinders me from being what God wants me to be. I am meant to bring Him glory by the producing of much fruit (John 15:8). The oak of righteousness mentioned in Isaiah 61 produces many many acorns!
4.) Look in the Judges 6 passage. The Israelites weren't looking for freedom. What had they done instead? Can you identify with this?
5.) What does God do with this? How does this relate to 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 and your life?
I trust Beth and Lifeway won't mind my sharing some of the words I jotted down near the end of the session. They are powerful...
Whatever it is that God calls you or me to give up...let's not be afraid to give it up. Let's instead be scared to miss what God has for us if we cling to something instead of releasing our hold on it. Beth pointed out so eloquently that sometimes we have no idea how oppressed we've been until we've been set free.
She closed with words like these:
What future do you want? Will you choose to grow old and die in your bondage?
No, Lord, I choose FREEDOM!
It got off with a rousing start when Lisa Pierre led us in singing "Break these shackles off my feet so I can dance! I just wanna praise you, I just wanna praise you!" I shared the way God used that song in my life here at the blog a couple of months ago (including a link to the YouTube video). So I was into it for sure! :-) From the looks of the other 999 women here in New Orleans at the Franklin Avenue Baptist Church, they were too!
Some thoughts...first and foremost, when God speaks to me about the same thing numerous times in just a few days, I know I need to take note. The thought "Renewed Mind" has come up again and again. I wasn't suprised to hear it here relative to the Breaking Free study--having gone through the BF study years ago and leading a couple of groups through it, I know that renewing the mind is a vital part of breaking free. Well, that and the fact that I have seen it in my own life.
But I know God is doing another new thing! It has come up enough times that I know he wants me to catch something new. So it is my quest to be still and know that He is God and what He has to say about the renewal of my mind. It was mentioned in Freedom From Emotional Eating bible study by Barb Raveling which I started last week. I hope to share my journey through that material here after I finish sharing The Lord's Table.
The thought of the renewed mind was also the focus of the bible study we did at our Neighborhood Fellowship Group -- the focus verse being Romans 12:1-8. We talked about what it means to renew the mind.
In any event, God is up to something. I am here at this video taping. 11 intense BIBLE teaching sessions!!!!! Never have I been through something this intense...and with Beth Moore no less who is big on truth and grace...
So here are some thoughts I jotted down this morning as I reflected back on the introductory session:
The focus verse is Isaiah 61:1-4. You will probably want to look it up in your bibles. Check it out and then ask God to bring it home to your own heart.
Lord Jesus, you have been annointed and appointed to preach good news to the poor. Thank you for accepting that calling. You have been sent to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners...all of this you've done aginst evil that has previously prevailed, Lord. YOU HAVE ENDED THE REIGN OF DARKNESS IN MY LIFE.
Not only that but you are proclaiming the year of the Lord's favor. Oh, I praise you that I stand in your favor!!! You also proclaim the day of vengance of our God. The enemy will get his! You are comforting those who mourn, providing for those who grieve, and bestowing on us all a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
You are changing us -- me -- to be an oak of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor.
We will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; we will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated. Oh, Lord! How appropriate that this taping is here in New Orleans in a church that was just rebuilt after the Katrina devastation!
Lord, please help me not to miss what you want to do in me today, this week, through this bible teaching time with Beth Moore.
To preserve copyright and all of that, I won't share my notes from the session. But she used Isaiah 9:4...to speak about how there is a pattern that God sees in us before freedom and how he chooses to break us free from bondage, from the yoke, just as He did the Israelites from Midian.
She took us into the scriptures in Judges chapter 6 all the way through verses 1 through 24. If you walk through the passage, you will see the parallels, too. Here are some questions to get you thinking about it all.
1.) Who are the people that are in bondage?
2.) Describe the nature of this bondage.
3.) Go to Lifeway's Bible Tools at http://bible.lifeway.com/crossmain.asp. Click on KJV with Strongs. Then type in the little box that says "Books" the following: Judges 6. Find verse 6 and click on the word "impoverished." How would you describe the state of God's people when they were under the oppression of the Midianites based on the definition of the Hebrew Word (which is what you just found if you followed these instructions)?
Beth pointed out that bondage is anything that hinders me from being what God wants me to be. I am meant to bring Him glory by the producing of much fruit (John 15:8). The oak of righteousness mentioned in Isaiah 61 produces many many acorns!
4.) Look in the Judges 6 passage. The Israelites weren't looking for freedom. What had they done instead? Can you identify with this?
5.) What does God do with this? How does this relate to 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 and your life?
I trust Beth and Lifeway won't mind my sharing some of the words I jotted down near the end of the session. They are powerful...
Whatever it is that God calls you or me to give up...let's not be afraid to give it up. Let's instead be scared to miss what God has for us if we cling to something instead of releasing our hold on it. Beth pointed out so eloquently that sometimes we have no idea how oppressed we've been until we've been set free.
She closed with words like these:
What future do you want? Will you choose to grow old and die in your bondage?
No, Lord, I choose FREEDOM!
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Leaving for New Orleans - BREAKING FREE!
I wanted to let the visitors to the blog know, I am heading off on yet another trip...leaving early tomorrow. I have never in my life traveled as much as I have this year. I think it is a product of finally having a rear that fits in an airplane seat!
I am actually looking forward to this trip! The others were still warm-ups, I guess! LOL!
I am meeting a friend at the Dallas Fort Worth airport where we will fly the rest of the way to New Orleans together. We are attending the video-taping of Beth Moore presenting her Breaking Free material. Lifeway has re-released a new version of "A Woman's Heart God's Dwelling Place" and I guess they are doing the same for this series.
Years ago, the Lord used this series powerfully in my life. Going to this is like a dream come true for me, but I have a feeling that this will be quite a challenging experience, too. I covet your prayers!
I will likely have some internet access while I am gone and hope to post a bit about what I experience as I know it will apply to this journey. Definitely!
Next time I write it will be from New Orleans!
Hugs!
I am actually looking forward to this trip! The others were still warm-ups, I guess! LOL!
I am meeting a friend at the Dallas Fort Worth airport where we will fly the rest of the way to New Orleans together. We are attending the video-taping of Beth Moore presenting her Breaking Free material. Lifeway has re-released a new version of "A Woman's Heart God's Dwelling Place" and I guess they are doing the same for this series.
Years ago, the Lord used this series powerfully in my life. Going to this is like a dream come true for me, but I have a feeling that this will be quite a challenging experience, too. I covet your prayers!
I will likely have some internet access while I am gone and hope to post a bit about what I experience as I know it will apply to this journey. Definitely!
Next time I write it will be from New Orleans!
Hugs!
Day Eight TLT - The Cross
I have been struggling. Writing about TLT lessons and experiencing a passion in my heart about the Lord and this journey in the wee hours of the morning...and by evening, throwing my care to the wind and being rebellious. It isn't about the food...it is about the heart. I have been saddened by what has been revealed to be in my heart.
The enemy also accuses me. "You are such a hypocrite and fraud! You spout off about 'holiness' and 'humility'--but LOOK at you! You are arrogant and prideful and your attitude PROVES that! Why don't you just admit that you will NEVER be all those things that you claim to be and just give it up?"
The battle is very real. In fact, I thought about not sharing today about TLT lesson because of it. But this is the VERY lesson I *should* share. It is so profound, deep, and life-changing. (Even now I battle hearing the voice of the enemy "Yeah, like *your* life has really changed, you liar!!!")
I will ignore it...2 Corinthians teaches me I have divine power to demolish strongholds. I can tear down anything that stands against the knowledge of God and take captive any thoughts and make them obedient to Christ. So right now I choose to do so.
TLT - Day 8 - The Cross
Here is what I wrote in my journal about this day in The Lord's Table material.
----
This is a powerful lesson. Lord, please help me to experience all you have in mind. Let it settle in my mind and make it through to my experience. I want to live, breathe, and apply your Word to my life.
First, Mike Cleveland defined overeating: "Overeating is defined as continuing to eat past the point of receiving all we need to sustain our lives."
I have shared this thought with others before and found that people sure don't like this definition. When I want to define it differently, I am:
"invent[ing] a god of my own making, to my own liking, a god that tolerates sin and overlooks continual indulgence of the flesh. I am very lenient with myself..." (p. 24 TLT)
I don't want to create god in an image I can "tolerate" or who tolerates me! I want to be in relationship with the one True God!
When I gave in to the temptation to overeat in my past, I allowed a wall to be built between the Lord and me. I resented the Lord, in fact, for insisting that I surrender this to Him.
The Lord offered himself on the cross, though not *just* for the forgiveness of sins--which is HUGE--a BIG deal!--But also so that I might no longer wander away from Him--so that I could stay close to Him.
1 Peter 2:25 says "Rof you were continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls."
I no longer need to stray. He has provided me a way to stay close. Thank you, Lord.
"The purpose of Jesus' death is two-fold: first, that He might remove my sins from me and second that He might heal me from going astray and bring me back to God. It is God's work to remove our sins from us, it is GOD's work to heal us from going astray, and it is GOD's work to cause us to return to the Shepherd and Overseer of our souls." (p. 25, TLT)
I am reminded that I have been called for the purpose of suffering willingly like Jesus. (1 Peter 2:21)
"There is no other way to solve the sin problem than Jesus. There is no other way to be reconciled to God, to be changed from his enemy to His friend, to cease from going astray, than through Jesus." (p. 25, TLT)
The author states that it is vital to see that overeating is a sin. We can't hate ourselves into change as one Thin Within participant said so eloquently...but we can hate our SIN and must hate our sin!
"We must begin to detest [our sinful behaviors] with all of our being and to think of them as sin against our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, in order to truly turn away from them and find victory. If we minimze them, we will continue to flirt with them and treat them as no big deal. Begin to seek the Lord about giving you a heart that hates all sin, including your sinful eating habits." (p. 27, TLT)
Summary: Jesus provided payment for my sin and a way that I can no longer go astray. He did this by the cross. As I ask Him to do so, he will help me to detest my sin of overeating and enable me to turn from it and stay close to Him. God provided Christ out of his compassion and love for me. I want to embrace all that He has done through the cross for all I am worth!
Application: Have I asked the Lord to help me to detest all my sin? Do I agree with TLT conclusion that overeating is eating more than I need to sustain my life? Or do I think a few bites more than that is ok? Who is my authority in this? Am I willing to be humble about it? Am I willing to hear what God may clearly say about it, or do I resist? How will I choose to live differently in light of these things?
Lord, please help me to be open to whatever the truth is about this issue. If my mind and heart are closed, please show me. Whatever YOU define as sin in my life...that is what I want to detest. Lord, please work this in me. Thank you for the cross. You have poured out compassion, grace, mercy and love through offering Jesus on the cross for me. I don't have to fear calling overeating a sin. I am not condemned! Jesus took the condemnation for me that I might be saved through Him. Thank you for the cross. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
The enemy also accuses me. "You are such a hypocrite and fraud! You spout off about 'holiness' and 'humility'--but LOOK at you! You are arrogant and prideful and your attitude PROVES that! Why don't you just admit that you will NEVER be all those things that you claim to be and just give it up?"
The battle is very real. In fact, I thought about not sharing today about TLT lesson because of it. But this is the VERY lesson I *should* share. It is so profound, deep, and life-changing. (Even now I battle hearing the voice of the enemy "Yeah, like *your* life has really changed, you liar!!!")
I will ignore it...2 Corinthians teaches me I have divine power to demolish strongholds. I can tear down anything that stands against the knowledge of God and take captive any thoughts and make them obedient to Christ. So right now I choose to do so.
TLT - Day 8 - The Cross
Here is what I wrote in my journal about this day in The Lord's Table material.
----
This is a powerful lesson. Lord, please help me to experience all you have in mind. Let it settle in my mind and make it through to my experience. I want to live, breathe, and apply your Word to my life.
First, Mike Cleveland defined overeating: "Overeating is defined as continuing to eat past the point of receiving all we need to sustain our lives."
I have shared this thought with others before and found that people sure don't like this definition. When I want to define it differently, I am:
"invent[ing] a god of my own making, to my own liking, a god that tolerates sin and overlooks continual indulgence of the flesh. I am very lenient with myself..." (p. 24 TLT)
I don't want to create god in an image I can "tolerate" or who tolerates me! I want to be in relationship with the one True God!
When I gave in to the temptation to overeat in my past, I allowed a wall to be built between the Lord and me. I resented the Lord, in fact, for insisting that I surrender this to Him.
The Lord offered himself on the cross, though not *just* for the forgiveness of sins--which is HUGE--a BIG deal!--But also so that I might no longer wander away from Him--so that I could stay close to Him.
1 Peter 2:25 says "Rof you were continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls."
I no longer need to stray. He has provided me a way to stay close. Thank you, Lord.
"The purpose of Jesus' death is two-fold: first, that He might remove my sins from me and second that He might heal me from going astray and bring me back to God. It is God's work to remove our sins from us, it is GOD's work to heal us from going astray, and it is GOD's work to cause us to return to the Shepherd and Overseer of our souls." (p. 25, TLT)
I am reminded that I have been called for the purpose of suffering willingly like Jesus. (1 Peter 2:21)
"There is no other way to solve the sin problem than Jesus. There is no other way to be reconciled to God, to be changed from his enemy to His friend, to cease from going astray, than through Jesus." (p. 25, TLT)
The author states that it is vital to see that overeating is a sin. We can't hate ourselves into change as one Thin Within participant said so eloquently...but we can hate our SIN and must hate our sin!
"We must begin to detest [our sinful behaviors] with all of our being and to think of them as sin against our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, in order to truly turn away from them and find victory. If we minimze them, we will continue to flirt with them and treat them as no big deal. Begin to seek the Lord about giving you a heart that hates all sin, including your sinful eating habits." (p. 27, TLT)
Summary: Jesus provided payment for my sin and a way that I can no longer go astray. He did this by the cross. As I ask Him to do so, he will help me to detest my sin of overeating and enable me to turn from it and stay close to Him. God provided Christ out of his compassion and love for me. I want to embrace all that He has done through the cross for all I am worth!
Application: Have I asked the Lord to help me to detest all my sin? Do I agree with TLT conclusion that overeating is eating more than I need to sustain my life? Or do I think a few bites more than that is ok? Who is my authority in this? Am I willing to be humble about it? Am I willing to hear what God may clearly say about it, or do I resist? How will I choose to live differently in light of these things?
Lord, please help me to be open to whatever the truth is about this issue. If my mind and heart are closed, please show me. Whatever YOU define as sin in my life...that is what I want to detest. Lord, please work this in me. Thank you for the cross. You have poured out compassion, grace, mercy and love through offering Jesus on the cross for me. I don't have to fear calling overeating a sin. I am not condemned! Jesus took the condemnation for me that I might be saved through Him. Thank you for the cross. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Day Seven TLT - Happy are the Helpless
This lesson is one that is near and dear to my heart. In fact, if I were to boil down my journey to just a few "valuable principles," the heart of this lesson in TLT would be near the top of the list.
In a nutshell...it is that there is incredible value in humility.
This is a teaching throughout God's Word, of course, and it is also foundational to Thin Within. In fact, the word "release" used by the Hallidays in Thin Within to refer to letting go of extra weight is connected to humility. As I choose, in humility, to release my unmet needs, my unmet wants, my "rights," my "way," my food, my body, to the Lord's more capable hands--as I do this, which requires humility--I not only release all of these things, but I will release other things as well...wounded emotions, resentment, bitterness.... In fact, I learned that doing this is connected to releasing extra weight my body carried. VERY connected. 100 pounds worth of "connected!"
This lesson in TLT teaches that blessings come from being willing to be humble--from being willing to esteem the LORD above all things and to crucify pride in self.
When it comes to the food, overeating, and body issues, we may be better at being prideful than we realize. We plan to do it ourselves and take into our own hands the diet that will do the trick. We will embrace the prescriptive eating plans and if we overeat we will, again, take it into our own hands that we must somehow make up for it...we manipulate to make it all work out our way.
Instead, I will cease my striving. Join me. Let us lay it all down, all plans, all tactics we have for defeating this thing. It is bigger than us and the Lord is bigger than it! In humility we say, "Lord, only you have the answer." In the moment when I am tempted, I say "YOU know best. I do not have the 'right' to this ______ (whatever you are tempted to have)." Let us invite the Lord to BE Lord in our lives and to have his rightful place on the throne...he RULES and REIGNS in my life. NOT me.
Day 7 Summary in Short: Humility is vital to walk this path. God will honor a humble heart. I have great need for HIM. I am impoverished apart from Him. He alone has the answer. He IS the answer.
Practically speaking: How will I allow this truth to affect me today? In what way have I, in pride, yet been clinging to my will, my way, my "rights," my food, my body? What must I, in humility, release to the Lord? How can I--in the moment--affirm that HE is Lord and I am not?
In a nutshell...it is that there is incredible value in humility.
This is a teaching throughout God's Word, of course, and it is also foundational to Thin Within. In fact, the word "release" used by the Hallidays in Thin Within to refer to letting go of extra weight is connected to humility. As I choose, in humility, to release my unmet needs, my unmet wants, my "rights," my "way," my food, my body, to the Lord's more capable hands--as I do this, which requires humility--I not only release all of these things, but I will release other things as well...wounded emotions, resentment, bitterness.... In fact, I learned that doing this is connected to releasing extra weight my body carried. VERY connected. 100 pounds worth of "connected!"
This lesson in TLT teaches that blessings come from being willing to be humble--from being willing to esteem the LORD above all things and to crucify pride in self.
When it comes to the food, overeating, and body issues, we may be better at being prideful than we realize. We plan to do it ourselves and take into our own hands the diet that will do the trick. We will embrace the prescriptive eating plans and if we overeat we will, again, take it into our own hands that we must somehow make up for it...we manipulate to make it all work out our way.
Instead, I will cease my striving. Join me. Let us lay it all down, all plans, all tactics we have for defeating this thing. It is bigger than us and the Lord is bigger than it! In humility we say, "Lord, only you have the answer." In the moment when I am tempted, I say "YOU know best. I do not have the 'right' to this ______ (whatever you are tempted to have)." Let us invite the Lord to BE Lord in our lives and to have his rightful place on the throne...he RULES and REIGNS in my life. NOT me.
Day 7 Summary in Short: Humility is vital to walk this path. God will honor a humble heart. I have great need for HIM. I am impoverished apart from Him. He alone has the answer. He IS the answer.
Practically speaking: How will I allow this truth to affect me today? In what way have I, in pride, yet been clinging to my will, my way, my "rights," my food, my body? What must I, in humility, release to the Lord? How can I--in the moment--affirm that HE is Lord and I am not?
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Day Six TLT - Two Kinds of Food
I believe that this is the heart of The Lord's Table and Thin Within, too...and well, LIFE for that matter! This teaching is pivotal. I know that the sooner I embrace this and apply it to my life, the sooner I will grow in Christ-likeness. The more faithfully I apply myself to this teaching, the less food will have a worldly pull on me and the more my freedom will be a REALITY instead of just something "out there."
Yesterday's teaching in TLT was on the fact that food isn't my problem...that isn't why I struggled all those years with being heavy. It wasn't the food's fault. The real issue is my heart and if I will allow God to transform me.
Today kind of builds on this idea. Some quotes from the lesson to whet your appetite :-) :
(Again, I recommend purchasing the PRINTED study and doing it, rather than doing the online version with the assigned mentor)
The emphasis of our lvies is to be on the acquiring of and feeding on Christ (appropriating Him). - page 17
Christ is real food for the soul, and to embrace Him and feed on Him produces freedom from life-dominating and/or habitual sin.
The author goes on to explain that all the focus on planning, preparing, buying, whatever it may be...that is allowing food to have our focus. This is why dieting doesn't reallly help change the heart. ALL the focus when dieting is on the food...the very thing I have to get away from...I have to somehow get rid of the focus on food and trade it for something else...a different focus.
Even though I am not carrying extra weight any more, this is definitely the case for me as well. It is clear to me that God wants these truths to be brought home to my heart...and applied to my life.
Referring to John 6:25-27, the author says, "Notice that...Jesus Christ changes things all around. Right in the midst of visualizing our next meal He says to Work for food that endures to eternal life. In other words, 'change your focus from the physical to the spiritual, from food to ME!'"
He explains that this is the key to being free from our obsessing about physical food. We can't just grit our teeth and "Just do it." We must replace that obsession with one Holy Obsession...the Lord and His Word.
The rest of the lesson shows scripturally how "feasting on the Word of God" will be satisfying and take care of much of what lures us to food. We are retraining our brains and hearts...instead of the agitated, irritable "I want something now" landing us in the pantry or standing at the fridge, we train ourselves that this is a sign that our hearts need spiritual food...and we turn to the Lord in prayer and to his Word.
Day 6 Summary in Short: Feasting on the Lord and His Word is not only satisfying, but it is food that will last. It is eternal, not temporarl. I want to be consumed with thoughts of the Lord more than thoughts of food. I must DEPEND on the Lord.
Application: How will I begin to train myself TODAY (practically), to make this change? How will I build this godly perspective in my life that I must choose to feed on the Lord and His Word instead of physical food? When I am hungry and need to eat physical food, can I do anything that will foster this awareness even then? What?
Yesterday's teaching in TLT was on the fact that food isn't my problem...that isn't why I struggled all those years with being heavy. It wasn't the food's fault. The real issue is my heart and if I will allow God to transform me.
Today kind of builds on this idea. Some quotes from the lesson to whet your appetite :-) :
(Again, I recommend purchasing the PRINTED study and doing it, rather than doing the online version with the assigned mentor)
The emphasis of our lvies is to be on the acquiring of and feeding on Christ (appropriating Him). - page 17
Christ is real food for the soul, and to embrace Him and feed on Him produces freedom from life-dominating and/or habitual sin.
The author goes on to explain that all the focus on planning, preparing, buying, whatever it may be...that is allowing food to have our focus. This is why dieting doesn't reallly help change the heart. ALL the focus when dieting is on the food...the very thing I have to get away from...I have to somehow get rid of the focus on food and trade it for something else...a different focus.
Even though I am not carrying extra weight any more, this is definitely the case for me as well. It is clear to me that God wants these truths to be brought home to my heart...and applied to my life.
Referring to John 6:25-27, the author says, "Notice that...Jesus Christ changes things all around. Right in the midst of visualizing our next meal He says to Work for food that endures to eternal life. In other words, 'change your focus from the physical to the spiritual, from food to ME!'"
He explains that this is the key to being free from our obsessing about physical food. We can't just grit our teeth and "Just do it." We must replace that obsession with one Holy Obsession...the Lord and His Word.
The rest of the lesson shows scripturally how "feasting on the Word of God" will be satisfying and take care of much of what lures us to food. We are retraining our brains and hearts...instead of the agitated, irritable "I want something now" landing us in the pantry or standing at the fridge, we train ourselves that this is a sign that our hearts need spiritual food...and we turn to the Lord in prayer and to his Word.
Day 6 Summary in Short: Feasting on the Lord and His Word is not only satisfying, but it is food that will last. It is eternal, not temporarl. I want to be consumed with thoughts of the Lord more than thoughts of food. I must DEPEND on the Lord.
Application: How will I begin to train myself TODAY (practically), to make this change? How will I build this godly perspective in my life that I must choose to feed on the Lord and His Word instead of physical food? When I am hungry and need to eat physical food, can I do anything that will foster this awareness even then? What?
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Day Five of TLT - "Food is Not the Problem"
"Food is not the problem."
This is something many people don't believe. They may discover that I eat at McDonald's so frequently that the employees all know me and my kids by name--and what we order, too! Often, people who discover that I released 100 pounds while eating french fries, donuts, and pizza with all meat topping are incredulous...It flies in the face of conventional "dieting" wisdom!
The truth is, this has never been and will never be, about the food. If you have been with me for this journey at all, you know that a few weeks ago, God laid on my heart the fact that I have made it about food again. While I have stayed at this size for just over a year now, there is this sense of fear that just won't dissipate. Why? Because I see that my heart STILL needs to change. Left to my own devices, I would...simply...go nuts. Leave me alone with refrigerated cookie dough and I will inhale it raw or cooked and simply blink at you and say, "Is this all there is? " (Visions of Winnie-the-Pooh come to mind...looking for that "smakerel of something sweet..." )
Recently, God convicted me that as long as I allowed my lust and greed for food to go unbridled "between 0 and 5," I would continue to struggle with lusting for food outside of 0 and 5. While I am "holding it together" and not getting bigger, God has pointed out to me...HE WANTS MY HEART. He wants my passions to be for HIM. My obsession to be HIM. He wants all of me.
Someone I know eagerly embraced the teaching of Thin Within. She had been on the dieting merry-go-round all her life and the teaching of eating whatever you wanted as long as you were hungry and didn't eat past satisfied delighted and thrilled her. She and her husband both released a lot of weight. The thing that I noticed though (it reflected back to me my *own* issues) was that now, instead of eating food all the time, she planned for her next meal all the time. She wanted her 0 - 5 to be "spent" on something totally wonderful so she would search for recipes, plan out what she would fix and how, go to the store and shop for the best ingredients and spend loads of time in the kitchen preparing whatever it was.
While this "worked" for her to release weight, I couldn't help but wonder if her "addiction" might not be the same as it always was...thoughts about food, plans for food, dreaming of food, reading about food...it was still food.
Again, I say this not by way of judgment, but as confession as God used this precious woman to show me that I have been doing the same--but because I don't like to cook, it just looks different in my life than it does in hers.
God wants to be what makes my heart skip a beat! Not the double-decadent chocolate cheesecake they serve at the deli in town. :-) When I daydream, he wants me to think on things not of this world, but things eternal...While I know that he is realistic and doesn't for one minute think I will be "heavenly minded" 100% of the time, I know the Lord hopes that my heart is SET on things above, not on earthly things and that I am making headway in this.
So The Lord's Table...the lesson where "Food is Not the Problem" totally resonates with me. Gosh, if food WERE the problem, all the fixes that we have out there to fix the food would work and Americans wouldn't be getting bigger and bigger in spite of low-fat this and low-cal that...and the bizillions of dollars we spend on gym memberships and diet plans would make a difference! We have done a great job as a country of fixing our food to make it better.
But we are so reticent to allow God to fix our hearts. Then, if we *are* willing, we don't stick with it...going back to that dieting mentality..."I don't feel like trying any more...I think I wil quit!" (There is that eating the seed thing again vs. sowing the seed...)
We can't quit this thing! This is about becoming Christlike! This is NOT a diet! It is about having the mind of Christ formed and shaped in us--even where food is concerned! So how could we quit?
The writer of TLT points out that the world's way of dealing with overweight has an appearance of wisdom...and some of us love that scientifc-y way we get to feel when we learn metabolic this' and that's about food or count, graph, chart, etc...
But that is all a ruse. We want God to do a deep work in us, don't we? I know I do. I want him to use this struggle I have had with food to teach me to depend on Him, to love Him, to need Him, to be satisfied in HIM. It isn't about the food! It is all about my heart and surrendering it to HIM. It is, ultimately, about HIM!
Summary for Day 5's teaching in TLT: Food is not the problem. It's not what I eat, but why and how much...and why I eat that amount. What motivates me to eat? This needs to be dealt with in my life. My flesh is NOT to determine my eating.
Application: Is there any way in which I continue to make this be about food? Have I really forsaken my adoration of food? Or have I just changed the way in which it is manifest? (Gone from overeating to planning/fixing/shopping etc...) How will I change my thinking and my behavior today to reflect that I want to change my heart?
This is something many people don't believe. They may discover that I eat at McDonald's so frequently that the employees all know me and my kids by name--and what we order, too! Often, people who discover that I released 100 pounds while eating french fries, donuts, and pizza with all meat topping are incredulous...It flies in the face of conventional "dieting" wisdom!
The truth is, this has never been and will never be, about the food. If you have been with me for this journey at all, you know that a few weeks ago, God laid on my heart the fact that I have made it about food again. While I have stayed at this size for just over a year now, there is this sense of fear that just won't dissipate. Why? Because I see that my heart STILL needs to change. Left to my own devices, I would...simply...go nuts. Leave me alone with refrigerated cookie dough and I will inhale it raw or cooked and simply blink at you and say, "Is this all there is? " (Visions of Winnie-the-Pooh come to mind...looking for that "smakerel of something sweet..." )
Recently, God convicted me that as long as I allowed my lust and greed for food to go unbridled "between 0 and 5," I would continue to struggle with lusting for food outside of 0 and 5. While I am "holding it together" and not getting bigger, God has pointed out to me...HE WANTS MY HEART. He wants my passions to be for HIM. My obsession to be HIM. He wants all of me.
Someone I know eagerly embraced the teaching of Thin Within. She had been on the dieting merry-go-round all her life and the teaching of eating whatever you wanted as long as you were hungry and didn't eat past satisfied delighted and thrilled her. She and her husband both released a lot of weight. The thing that I noticed though (it reflected back to me my *own* issues) was that now, instead of eating food all the time, she planned for her next meal all the time. She wanted her 0 - 5 to be "spent" on something totally wonderful so she would search for recipes, plan out what she would fix and how, go to the store and shop for the best ingredients and spend loads of time in the kitchen preparing whatever it was.
While this "worked" for her to release weight, I couldn't help but wonder if her "addiction" might not be the same as it always was...thoughts about food, plans for food, dreaming of food, reading about food...it was still food.
Again, I say this not by way of judgment, but as confession as God used this precious woman to show me that I have been doing the same--but because I don't like to cook, it just looks different in my life than it does in hers.
God wants to be what makes my heart skip a beat! Not the double-decadent chocolate cheesecake they serve at the deli in town. :-) When I daydream, he wants me to think on things not of this world, but things eternal...While I know that he is realistic and doesn't for one minute think I will be "heavenly minded" 100% of the time, I know the Lord hopes that my heart is SET on things above, not on earthly things and that I am making headway in this.
So The Lord's Table...the lesson where "Food is Not the Problem" totally resonates with me. Gosh, if food WERE the problem, all the fixes that we have out there to fix the food would work and Americans wouldn't be getting bigger and bigger in spite of low-fat this and low-cal that...and the bizillions of dollars we spend on gym memberships and diet plans would make a difference! We have done a great job as a country of fixing our food to make it better.
But we are so reticent to allow God to fix our hearts. Then, if we *are* willing, we don't stick with it...going back to that dieting mentality..."I don't feel like trying any more...I think I wil quit!" (There is that eating the seed thing again vs. sowing the seed...)
We can't quit this thing! This is about becoming Christlike! This is NOT a diet! It is about having the mind of Christ formed and shaped in us--even where food is concerned! So how could we quit?
The writer of TLT points out that the world's way of dealing with overweight has an appearance of wisdom...and some of us love that scientifc-y way we get to feel when we learn metabolic this' and that's about food or count, graph, chart, etc...
But that is all a ruse. We want God to do a deep work in us, don't we? I know I do. I want him to use this struggle I have had with food to teach me to depend on Him, to love Him, to need Him, to be satisfied in HIM. It isn't about the food! It is all about my heart and surrendering it to HIM. It is, ultimately, about HIM!
Summary for Day 5's teaching in TLT: Food is not the problem. It's not what I eat, but why and how much...and why I eat that amount. What motivates me to eat? This needs to be dealt with in my life. My flesh is NOT to determine my eating.
Application: Is there any way in which I continue to make this be about food? Have I really forsaken my adoration of food? Or have I just changed the way in which it is manifest? (Gone from overeating to planning/fixing/shopping etc...) How will I change my thinking and my behavior today to reflect that I want to change my heart?
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Day Four of TLT - Fasting
There are two suggested "meal plans" with TLT. I think "Eating Plan 1" is for the birds. I take strong issue with it. This option advocates scheduled eating a certain way...and I could never choose that route as it would lead to bondage for me.
The other option, is waiting for hunger and stopping when satisfied. The old 0 and 5 that Thin Within uses.
Unfortunately, Mike Cleveland advocates waiting for a "belly growl" as the sure sign of hunger. I take issue with that, too. :-) Hunger is a sensation, not a sound. For many people it will be accompanied by a growl, but for the larger percentage of us, a growl accompanies digestive sounds...when we have food in our bodies and it is being processed! We may not experience a growl when we are truly stomach hungry. Thin Within teaches us to get in tune with the stomach pouch to really learn what empty feels like. I love that about Thin Within.
For those who select "Eating Plan 1" (the scheduled eating), fasting appears to be recommended and (depending on who you talk to ) *required* to be a part of TLT. I didn't feel that the workbook alone presented it quite so "black and white." A wonderful program, The Lord's Table would be *perfect* in my book if it would drop the "scheduled eating" plan and definitely NOT endorse fasting for weight loss. I know that is probably not the heart of what they have in mind, but that is how it can come across. So please be cautious.
I believe so strongly that fasting is *not* to be done for weight loss that I ignore this teaching if I feel it comes up. No, I don't mean I ignore the teaching on fasting...
What I feel convicted about is that fasting can be done to break the stronghold of sin...How? Well, when I fast because the Lord has led me to do so (as opposed to a schedule I am supposed to follow, created by man), then food isn't an issue.
Let me explain: When fasting, any thoughts of "Should I eat now?" or "Am I hungry now?" are basically moot. It doesn't matter. Likewise, those thoughts of "I want that...it sounds good...." ...the thoughts of food outside of hunger--all thoughts of food have no pull on me because of my God-directed commitment to fast that day.
Instead, feelings of hunger or head hunger are used by God to remind me that I am a humble creation, he is the amazing Provider. I can invite him to use those cues to cause me to pray for others, for me to be free from the hold of anything that isn't from Him. I in no way condone justifying fasting as a way to lose weight as I believe this is very contrary to God's heart on this issue. That is self-centered and not for God's glory.
Even when I am not fasting, I can take what I learn during a fast. The "bond" that food has had on me previously, it didn't have during a fast...so apply that same principle during non-fast days...no food outside of 0 and 5 (hunger and satisfaction). If it calls, I am "fasting"...and turn it into prayer and worship like I do when God has called me to fast for a set period of time.
NOTE: If you struggle with anorexia at all, please DO NOT take this as justification for refusing to submit this struggle to the Lord. Refusing to eat what your body needs to sustain your life is OUT OF GOD'S WILL just as OVEREATING is out of God's will. Please allow Him to do His work in you. There is no condemnation for you, but neither is there rational godly reason to withold food from your body and to call it a godly fast.
God used TLT to help me to begin to be able to fast for *godly* reasons. This was a major miracle because while I had walked in relative freedom for over a year with regard to eating too much food, I still felt fear about fasting. God used TLT to challenge me to a new level of trust (and I know he wants me to revisit that, as I have gotten some distance from that work he did in me...). In fact, I know that it is no "accident" that I am looking at this lesson now. :-)
So, hopefully with all those disclaimers and caveats aside... :-) Let's see what TLT teaches in Day 4 about fasting. Truthfully, I can't do the lesson justice here. It is powerful and encouraging! So here is just a taste of it...
The focus passage for the lesson is Isaiah 58:6-11. I urge you to look it up in your bible. The lesson brings up some principles that come from this passage and Mike Cleveland, the author of TLT, does a good job explaining this:
* Fasting should be freeing!!!
* Fasting should be healing!!!
* Fasting should be SATISFYING!!! (Interesting, isn't it, how giving up food can actually BE and should be for godly reasons...satisfying? :-))
Additionally, while fasting, I am to:
* worship
* pray
* confess
* listen to the Lord
NOT HOP ON AND OFF THE SCALE!!!!!! :-) Ok? :-)
Other "nots:"
* I am not to be grouchy
* I am not to tell anyone else I am fasting
* I am not to act like a victim or martyr about it. If I do, perhaps I am not fasting for godly reasons!
On page 11 of the workbook, I read, "Fasting with a right attitude is given to us by God as a way of breaking sin's power, and freeing us from the control of lust and overeating."
Yes! Fasting is a GIFT from the Lord to me!
My short little summary of Day 4 on fasting from my journal is:
Fasting can enable sin's power to be broken and free me from my lust. It can bring freedom, healing, and satisfaction!
Application: What will I do with the idea of a godly fast in my life? Throughout scripture I see God's people fasting to humble themselves...what will I do to follow God in this? Even Jesus fasted...Am I willing to consider even praying about if/when God would call me to do this? To give up even my "necessary food" for a meal or a day? If I am unwilling even to ask God about this...why? (In fact, as I edit this post at 5:50am California time on Election Day...I wonder a LOT about this...hmm...)
I would welcome hearing from those of you who have learned something specific through godly fasting. We can encourage one another!
The other option, is waiting for hunger and stopping when satisfied. The old 0 and 5 that Thin Within uses.
Unfortunately, Mike Cleveland advocates waiting for a "belly growl" as the sure sign of hunger. I take issue with that, too. :-) Hunger is a sensation, not a sound. For many people it will be accompanied by a growl, but for the larger percentage of us, a growl accompanies digestive sounds...when we have food in our bodies and it is being processed! We may not experience a growl when we are truly stomach hungry. Thin Within teaches us to get in tune with the stomach pouch to really learn what empty feels like. I love that about Thin Within.
For those who select "Eating Plan 1" (the scheduled eating), fasting appears to be recommended and (depending on who you talk to ) *required* to be a part of TLT. I didn't feel that the workbook alone presented it quite so "black and white." A wonderful program, The Lord's Table would be *perfect* in my book if it would drop the "scheduled eating" plan and definitely NOT endorse fasting for weight loss. I know that is probably not the heart of what they have in mind, but that is how it can come across. So please be cautious.
I believe so strongly that fasting is *not* to be done for weight loss that I ignore this teaching if I feel it comes up. No, I don't mean I ignore the teaching on fasting...
What I feel convicted about is that fasting can be done to break the stronghold of sin...How? Well, when I fast because the Lord has led me to do so (as opposed to a schedule I am supposed to follow, created by man), then food isn't an issue.
Let me explain: When fasting, any thoughts of "Should I eat now?" or "Am I hungry now?" are basically moot. It doesn't matter. Likewise, those thoughts of "I want that...it sounds good...." ...the thoughts of food outside of hunger--all thoughts of food have no pull on me because of my God-directed commitment to fast that day.
Instead, feelings of hunger or head hunger are used by God to remind me that I am a humble creation, he is the amazing Provider. I can invite him to use those cues to cause me to pray for others, for me to be free from the hold of anything that isn't from Him. I in no way condone justifying fasting as a way to lose weight as I believe this is very contrary to God's heart on this issue. That is self-centered and not for God's glory.
Even when I am not fasting, I can take what I learn during a fast. The "bond" that food has had on me previously, it didn't have during a fast...so apply that same principle during non-fast days...no food outside of 0 and 5 (hunger and satisfaction). If it calls, I am "fasting"...and turn it into prayer and worship like I do when God has called me to fast for a set period of time.
NOTE: If you struggle with anorexia at all, please DO NOT take this as justification for refusing to submit this struggle to the Lord. Refusing to eat what your body needs to sustain your life is OUT OF GOD'S WILL just as OVEREATING is out of God's will. Please allow Him to do His work in you. There is no condemnation for you, but neither is there rational godly reason to withold food from your body and to call it a godly fast.
God used TLT to help me to begin to be able to fast for *godly* reasons. This was a major miracle because while I had walked in relative freedom for over a year with regard to eating too much food, I still felt fear about fasting. God used TLT to challenge me to a new level of trust (and I know he wants me to revisit that, as I have gotten some distance from that work he did in me...). In fact, I know that it is no "accident" that I am looking at this lesson now. :-)
So, hopefully with all those disclaimers and caveats aside... :-) Let's see what TLT teaches in Day 4 about fasting. Truthfully, I can't do the lesson justice here. It is powerful and encouraging! So here is just a taste of it...
The focus passage for the lesson is Isaiah 58:6-11. I urge you to look it up in your bible. The lesson brings up some principles that come from this passage and Mike Cleveland, the author of TLT, does a good job explaining this:
* Fasting should be freeing!!!
* Fasting should be healing!!!
* Fasting should be SATISFYING!!! (Interesting, isn't it, how giving up food can actually BE and should be for godly reasons...satisfying? :-))
Additionally, while fasting, I am to:
* worship
* pray
* confess
* listen to the Lord
NOT HOP ON AND OFF THE SCALE!!!!!! :-) Ok? :-)
Other "nots:"
* I am not to be grouchy
* I am not to tell anyone else I am fasting
* I am not to act like a victim or martyr about it. If I do, perhaps I am not fasting for godly reasons!
On page 11 of the workbook, I read, "Fasting with a right attitude is given to us by God as a way of breaking sin's power, and freeing us from the control of lust and overeating."
Yes! Fasting is a GIFT from the Lord to me!
My short little summary of Day 4 on fasting from my journal is:
Fasting can enable sin's power to be broken and free me from my lust. It can bring freedom, healing, and satisfaction!
Application: What will I do with the idea of a godly fast in my life? Throughout scripture I see God's people fasting to humble themselves...what will I do to follow God in this? Even Jesus fasted...Am I willing to consider even praying about if/when God would call me to do this? To give up even my "necessary food" for a meal or a day? If I am unwilling even to ask God about this...why? (In fact, as I edit this post at 5:50am California time on Election Day...I wonder a LOT about this...hmm...)
I would welcome hearing from those of you who have learned something specific through godly fasting. We can encourage one another!
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Day Three of TLT - Victory is Here at Last!
I wanted to preface this day of TLT with yesterday's post because I know that many of us have been through TLT or TW a million times and struggle with physical "results"...and some of us may even understand that this is not about food, eating or my body, but about something deeper and still not see "results" in our behavior, values, heart, walks with Christ.
I do NOT want anything in my blog or that I say anywhere to bring about condemnation. So, if you have gone through TLT before and are reminded "Victory is Here at Last!" was day 3's title, you might end up feeling a spirit of condemnation.
Reject it, dear One!!! (Sorry, the "Dear One" just slipped out :-)...I know it is a Beth Moore-ism, but it does actually come from my heart...you *are* dear to me, you out there in blog land!)
Romans 8:1 says there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ. So please shake it off. Further, it says in Romans 5:8 that God demonstrated his own love for you in this...that WHILE you were yet sinning, Jesus died for you. Not once you had your act together...but WHILE you were yet sinning.
So, please don't allow the enemy to take you captive with a spirit of condemnation.
How well I know the temptation to do that. Yesterday, for example, I had the wonderful privilege of sharing with a Thin Within group. I am so thankful (and baffled) to get to be used of God in any way...but somehow, the rest of the day was a mindless blur of "am I hungry? I think I am hungry? Am I hungry now? Should I eat? I will eat so I can get rid of the wondering..." and eating in response to all of that. I don't really understand it. But I know that I struggled with feelings of condemnation... "How could I possibly have shared with a group by morning about things that have changed my life so deeply, yet by 2pm act like one unchanged? What kind of hypocrite am I?"
Join me in rejecting such thoughts. Condemnation isn't from the Lord to us. God's Word says in John 3 that God sent his son into the world NOT to condemn the world but that the world might be saved through him. God's Word reminds me that it is God's kindness that leads me to genuine repentance...not condemnation.
It doesn't mean I shouldn't confess, but 1 John 1:9 says that if I confess my sin He is faithful and just to forgive and to cleanse me of ALL unrighteousness!
So that said, I will share some thoughts on Day 3 of TLT--again, I recommend this for personal study from the printed workbook. :-)
On page 8 of the workbook, the question was asked, "Is there a way to be satisfied in Christ and know that we will never return to the old ways of using food in an attempt to satisfy the heart?"
I have to say...this was the key question that has been plaguing me lately. Although I have been at this weight now for just over a year--I know that the passions of my heart were more committed to honoring God at other parts of this journey. That concerns me. I mean, I actually see the same heart that caused me to turn to food for just about everything...well, it doesn't seem as changed as it should be by now...I want to turn to Christ for satisfaction in everything. No matter what happens. Even when I share emotionally with others and feel pain again...even when my husband travels and worry begins to assault me that this time he may not return safely...even when my daughter surprises me with a self-centered response to a mild request for help...even when my horse acts like none of the years of working together to form a solid, safe partnership have happened (and all the work that has entailed) and it all seems to amount to NOTHING...even when I visit with my mother...I want CHRIST ALONE TO BE MY SATISFACTION. I want HIM to be my ROCK. I want to turn to HIM for peace, for comfort...to be my all.
I have so much yet to learn. Truly...THAT is what this is all about.
So what if I have been at my "naturally thin size" for a year?
Someday, I hope to be able to say, "For a year, I have had a heart that turns to God for satisfaction..." That is what I want for the rest of my life. I want to pant for the Lord like the deer does for streams of water...I want to know what the psalmist meant...KNOW it because I live it...when he said, "NOTHING on earth has anything that cuts it for me, God!"
When I read in Day 3 these words I felt exposed again! Here they are...although refering to a "fad diet" and weight lost on it, I really do think it applies to me:
"...we often think that we have solved the problem. But in reality we may have just hidden it. We can now think 'No one knows because I am thin.' The truth is that we need to be fat on Jesus." (page 9 The Lord's Table)
I SO don't want to be a fraud. I SO don't want to show up to speak or encourage a Thin Within group, for instance, and have them look at my outward appearance and assume that I am not in the trenches. I SO want to be real...and I so want my REAL to be wholly devoted to the Lord.
I thought I wanted THIN so badly. Now that I have been THIN for a year, I see I want HOLY so much more. I want these lusts of my flesh GONE. I want to yearn for the LORD. I want to turn to HIM in my need.
Jeremiah 15:16 says "Your words were found and I ate them, and Your words became for me a joy and the delight of my heart; for I have been called by Your name, O LORD God of hosts."
I want to delight in the truth of God and His Word. I want to genuinely feel that His Word and time in His presence, focusing on HIM, is so much more enjoyable and satisfying than anything else could be...including eating the most wonderful food (even 0 to 5 for that matter!).
Anyhow, my summary of Day 3s teaching is this: God WILL satisfy. Cultivate a habit of going to him ALL the time through prayer and His Word. As I make this apart of my life throughout the day, I will know permanent change and victory!
Application: What will I do today to assure that I turn to the Lord when I need satisfaction?
I do NOT want anything in my blog or that I say anywhere to bring about condemnation. So, if you have gone through TLT before and are reminded "Victory is Here at Last!" was day 3's title, you might end up feeling a spirit of condemnation.
Reject it, dear One!!! (Sorry, the "Dear One" just slipped out :-)...I know it is a Beth Moore-ism, but it does actually come from my heart...you *are* dear to me, you out there in blog land!)
Romans 8:1 says there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ. So please shake it off. Further, it says in Romans 5:8 that God demonstrated his own love for you in this...that WHILE you were yet sinning, Jesus died for you. Not once you had your act together...but WHILE you were yet sinning.
So, please don't allow the enemy to take you captive with a spirit of condemnation.
How well I know the temptation to do that. Yesterday, for example, I had the wonderful privilege of sharing with a Thin Within group. I am so thankful (and baffled) to get to be used of God in any way...but somehow, the rest of the day was a mindless blur of "am I hungry? I think I am hungry? Am I hungry now? Should I eat? I will eat so I can get rid of the wondering..." and eating in response to all of that. I don't really understand it. But I know that I struggled with feelings of condemnation... "How could I possibly have shared with a group by morning about things that have changed my life so deeply, yet by 2pm act like one unchanged? What kind of hypocrite am I?"
Join me in rejecting such thoughts. Condemnation isn't from the Lord to us. God's Word says in John 3 that God sent his son into the world NOT to condemn the world but that the world might be saved through him. God's Word reminds me that it is God's kindness that leads me to genuine repentance...not condemnation.
It doesn't mean I shouldn't confess, but 1 John 1:9 says that if I confess my sin He is faithful and just to forgive and to cleanse me of ALL unrighteousness!
So that said, I will share some thoughts on Day 3 of TLT--again, I recommend this for personal study from the printed workbook. :-)
On page 8 of the workbook, the question was asked, "Is there a way to be satisfied in Christ and know that we will never return to the old ways of using food in an attempt to satisfy the heart?"
I have to say...this was the key question that has been plaguing me lately. Although I have been at this weight now for just over a year--I know that the passions of my heart were more committed to honoring God at other parts of this journey. That concerns me. I mean, I actually see the same heart that caused me to turn to food for just about everything...well, it doesn't seem as changed as it should be by now...I want to turn to Christ for satisfaction in everything. No matter what happens. Even when I share emotionally with others and feel pain again...even when my husband travels and worry begins to assault me that this time he may not return safely...even when my daughter surprises me with a self-centered response to a mild request for help...even when my horse acts like none of the years of working together to form a solid, safe partnership have happened (and all the work that has entailed) and it all seems to amount to NOTHING...even when I visit with my mother...I want CHRIST ALONE TO BE MY SATISFACTION. I want HIM to be my ROCK. I want to turn to HIM for peace, for comfort...to be my all.
I have so much yet to learn. Truly...THAT is what this is all about.
So what if I have been at my "naturally thin size" for a year?
Someday, I hope to be able to say, "For a year, I have had a heart that turns to God for satisfaction..." That is what I want for the rest of my life. I want to pant for the Lord like the deer does for streams of water...I want to know what the psalmist meant...KNOW it because I live it...when he said, "NOTHING on earth has anything that cuts it for me, God!"
When I read in Day 3 these words I felt exposed again! Here they are...although refering to a "fad diet" and weight lost on it, I really do think it applies to me:
"...we often think that we have solved the problem. But in reality we may have just hidden it. We can now think 'No one knows because I am thin.' The truth is that we need to be fat on Jesus." (page 9 The Lord's Table)
I SO don't want to be a fraud. I SO don't want to show up to speak or encourage a Thin Within group, for instance, and have them look at my outward appearance and assume that I am not in the trenches. I SO want to be real...and I so want my REAL to be wholly devoted to the Lord.
I thought I wanted THIN so badly. Now that I have been THIN for a year, I see I want HOLY so much more. I want these lusts of my flesh GONE. I want to yearn for the LORD. I want to turn to HIM in my need.
Jeremiah 15:16 says "Your words were found and I ate them, and Your words became for me a joy and the delight of my heart; for I have been called by Your name, O LORD God of hosts."
I want to delight in the truth of God and His Word. I want to genuinely feel that His Word and time in His presence, focusing on HIM, is so much more enjoyable and satisfying than anything else could be...including eating the most wonderful food (even 0 to 5 for that matter!).
Anyhow, my summary of Day 3s teaching is this: God WILL satisfy. Cultivate a habit of going to him ALL the time through prayer and His Word. As I make this apart of my life throughout the day, I will know permanent change and victory!
Application: What will I do today to assure that I turn to the Lord when I need satisfaction?
Eating the Seed instead of Sowing the Seed
Do you ever wonder about why you have heard the message about freedom in your eating, freedom from being tormented about your body and all those things that you struggle with...why you KNOW stuff and feel STRONGLY that "Yes! This is the truth! I believe! I will do it!" and then still walk in defeat? Still don't quite seem to flesh the thing out?
So many I talk with about Thin Within experience this. I know I did for years. Probably at least 6 years before things "clicked" I knew...really KNEW the truths that God intended for my freedom. Yet it took until 2006 for me to begin to walk in freedom.
Why is that? Why do we embrace it and believe it and then...don't experience in our reality what God's Word says we will?
In my Stepping Up study (by Beth Moore), she shares something really profound on page 81. She shares about how she and her husband went to Angola to do some relief work and how they were trying to take in the sights and sounds and smells of living death...starvation, malnutrition...rampant and overwhelming. A friend shared with them that one of the saddest things is that when seed is brought in to plant and harvest, the people of the villages respond to it by EATING THE SEED instead of sowing the seed. She shares how she couldn't get this thought out of her head and realized that God answered the question above...that some of us eat the seed of God's word. We are starving and ravenous...we see it as the truth and good and wonderful...and take it in as temporary satisfaction for our "stomachs" if you will. Instead of working it and working it and waiting and waiting....sowing the seed of God's Word in our lives.
I know what she is talking about because I have done this precise thing. All that time I wrote with the Hallidays, had daily contact and help and support--had to basically write her God-given thoughts on the page for publishing...I "knew" it...I was "eating" that seed...but I wasn't working it into the soil of my life.
It takes time. And we want instant results, instant gratification...So, if we don't see results that are measurable (the bathroom scale often enough), we toss it out...we have eaten the seed instead of sown it.
It takes work. It takes faith. It takes belief...God can do these things in us. It requires patience and perseverance...we wait on Him to do it, yet somehow walk with him, get in the soil and do some dirty "work" in our hearts along with him...
If we don't, we are like those starving people in Angola. Their need would be provided for much better in the long term if they would SOW the seed instead of eating it...Starving, the don't know how to trust. How like that I am.
Lord help me not just to eat the seed of your Word and have the temporary "satisfaction" of a full belly. But help me, instead, to sow the seed into my life, to be willing to work it, trust, see the thing through...and experience the harvest that you intend the seed to bring. In the precious Name of Jesus. Amen.
So many I talk with about Thin Within experience this. I know I did for years. Probably at least 6 years before things "clicked" I knew...really KNEW the truths that God intended for my freedom. Yet it took until 2006 for me to begin to walk in freedom.
Why is that? Why do we embrace it and believe it and then...don't experience in our reality what God's Word says we will?
In my Stepping Up study (by Beth Moore), she shares something really profound on page 81. She shares about how she and her husband went to Angola to do some relief work and how they were trying to take in the sights and sounds and smells of living death...starvation, malnutrition...rampant and overwhelming. A friend shared with them that one of the saddest things is that when seed is brought in to plant and harvest, the people of the villages respond to it by EATING THE SEED instead of sowing the seed. She shares how she couldn't get this thought out of her head and realized that God answered the question above...that some of us eat the seed of God's word. We are starving and ravenous...we see it as the truth and good and wonderful...and take it in as temporary satisfaction for our "stomachs" if you will. Instead of working it and working it and waiting and waiting....sowing the seed of God's Word in our lives.
I know what she is talking about because I have done this precise thing. All that time I wrote with the Hallidays, had daily contact and help and support--had to basically write her God-given thoughts on the page for publishing...I "knew" it...I was "eating" that seed...but I wasn't working it into the soil of my life.
It takes time. And we want instant results, instant gratification...So, if we don't see results that are measurable (the bathroom scale often enough), we toss it out...we have eaten the seed instead of sown it.
It takes work. It takes faith. It takes belief...God can do these things in us. It requires patience and perseverance...we wait on Him to do it, yet somehow walk with him, get in the soil and do some dirty "work" in our hearts along with him...
If we don't, we are like those starving people in Angola. Their need would be provided for much better in the long term if they would SOW the seed instead of eating it...Starving, the don't know how to trust. How like that I am.
Lord help me not just to eat the seed of your Word and have the temporary "satisfaction" of a full belly. But help me, instead, to sow the seed into my life, to be willing to work it, trust, see the thing through...and experience the harvest that you intend the seed to bring. In the precious Name of Jesus. Amen.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Reflections on a Year Ago
How interesting. I looked at my entry from last year at this time. You will find it here.
It has begun…HOLIDAY FRENZY! :-)
Even early in October, Sam’s Club was hauling out Christmas decorations and wrappings, suggested packaged items for gift giving. OH MY! It is that time of year again!
This time of year can be wonderful and horrible! I am just sure that God didn’t create snack size Milky Way bar morsels in the “Family Pack” size to TORMENT ME! How about you? How did you fare through this past week with candy abounding?
And this is only the beginning! The HOLY days are upon us! I hope I can remember they are HOLY days…and not justifications for me to indulge my flesh!
I have to laugh. This year, I did NOT buy one single solitary bag of candy. HUGE VICTORY! I didn’t even think about it! This is proof that God has been at work because left to my own devices I would do what I have done almost every other year!!!!
For instance, two years ago, I justified having a few bags of candy in the house because “What if there was a trick or treater at the door and I had no candy?” Never mind that we had gone the entire previous 4 years without a SINGLE knock on the door! I simply had to have the candy “for the trick or treaters.” HA!
I shared this with my accountability partner….that two years ago I kept dipping into it…quoting myself truisms about being free in Christ and so on…the fact is, all things are permissible, YES, but not all things are beneficial! How many 0 to 5 meals could I REALLY justify with “Friendly Size” Butter fingers as the main course? :-)
When I realized that I could not stare down the candy and come out the winner, I made a beeline for the toilet…to throw it away! It didn’t even occur to me that it might clog things up! I just knew that if I put it in the trash at home, I would, at some point, if my past record is any indicator, plunge headlong into the garbage can to retrieve it at some point…and eat it anyhow! Have you ever done that? So have I…many times. What is so awful is that then the family thinks how noble and good I am for throwing it away…they never saw me retrieve it from the trash! I would sneak it into the bathroom and eat it there!!!! So two years ago, I had to had to had to throw it down the toilet! VICTORY!
Last year, I was tempted to buy it, but said no to the flesh. YAY! WE DO NOT GET ANY TRICK OR TREATERS! :-)
And it is with humility that I say that this year, I didn’t even think of Halloween candy until my accountability partner and I were talking about it in email. God has done a HUGE work in me! To take me from what I was to what he is doing in me now! THANK YOU, Lord!
It is interesting to note other contrasts between last years post on October 31st and this year. The horse I was worrying about then and whether or not I should have him put down...well, this is us two days ago:
He is in training at my trainer's place. He has been doing so well! Yes, winters are hard...and this one may be no exception, but this year, I have inquired about the two of us getting involved and volunteering with some therapeutic riding organizations. I can't wait to see what happens! We have gotten some favorable responses so far. If we can do that all winter long, keeping him a bit active, maybe he won't be so miserable and arthritic.
Last year in the post, I lamented about Daniel being such a liar and how worried I was about his future. Daniel has been transformed! He is confesssing sin, praying incredibly authentic prayers, reading the word, asking forgiveness of those he has wronged...even admitting when he hasn't been truthful (and typically these are so mild that it is astonishing given how calloused his heart used to be!). God has been doing some AMAZING works in my life over the past year.
I PRAISE YOU, LORD!
It has begun…HOLIDAY FRENZY! :-)
Even early in October, Sam’s Club was hauling out Christmas decorations and wrappings, suggested packaged items for gift giving. OH MY! It is that time of year again!
This time of year can be wonderful and horrible! I am just sure that God didn’t create snack size Milky Way bar morsels in the “Family Pack” size to TORMENT ME! How about you? How did you fare through this past week with candy abounding?
And this is only the beginning! The HOLY days are upon us! I hope I can remember they are HOLY days…and not justifications for me to indulge my flesh!
I have to laugh. This year, I did NOT buy one single solitary bag of candy. HUGE VICTORY! I didn’t even think about it! This is proof that God has been at work because left to my own devices I would do what I have done almost every other year!!!!
For instance, two years ago, I justified having a few bags of candy in the house because “What if there was a trick or treater at the door and I had no candy?” Never mind that we had gone the entire previous 4 years without a SINGLE knock on the door! I simply had to have the candy “for the trick or treaters.” HA!
I shared this with my accountability partner….that two years ago I kept dipping into it…quoting myself truisms about being free in Christ and so on…the fact is, all things are permissible, YES, but not all things are beneficial! How many 0 to 5 meals could I REALLY justify with “Friendly Size” Butter fingers as the main course? :-)
When I realized that I could not stare down the candy and come out the winner, I made a beeline for the toilet…to throw it away! It didn’t even occur to me that it might clog things up! I just knew that if I put it in the trash at home, I would, at some point, if my past record is any indicator, plunge headlong into the garbage can to retrieve it at some point…and eat it anyhow! Have you ever done that? So have I…many times. What is so awful is that then the family thinks how noble and good I am for throwing it away…they never saw me retrieve it from the trash! I would sneak it into the bathroom and eat it there!!!! So two years ago, I had to had to had to throw it down the toilet! VICTORY!
Last year, I was tempted to buy it, but said no to the flesh. YAY! WE DO NOT GET ANY TRICK OR TREATERS! :-)
And it is with humility that I say that this year, I didn’t even think of Halloween candy until my accountability partner and I were talking about it in email. God has done a HUGE work in me! To take me from what I was to what he is doing in me now! THANK YOU, Lord!
It is interesting to note other contrasts between last years post on October 31st and this year. The horse I was worrying about then and whether or not I should have him put down...well, this is us two days ago:
He is in training at my trainer's place. He has been doing so well! Yes, winters are hard...and this one may be no exception, but this year, I have inquired about the two of us getting involved and volunteering with some therapeutic riding organizations. I can't wait to see what happens! We have gotten some favorable responses so far. If we can do that all winter long, keeping him a bit active, maybe he won't be so miserable and arthritic.
Last year in the post, I lamented about Daniel being such a liar and how worried I was about his future. Daniel has been transformed! He is confesssing sin, praying incredibly authentic prayers, reading the word, asking forgiveness of those he has wronged...even admitting when he hasn't been truthful (and typically these are so mild that it is astonishing given how calloused his heart used to be!). God has been doing some AMAZING works in my life over the past year.
I PRAISE YOU, LORD!