HEAL Week 4 Assignment

Here is the assignment for the lesson 4.

Answer here at the blog: If you have been memorizing all or a portion of Psalm 139, how has this been affecting you? Do you find yourself believing the truths in this passage more? Do you believe that you are fearfully and wonderfully made? Is this affecting your ability and willingness to trust your body's hunger and satisfied signals?

How is it going with regard to applying yourself to the "Seven Super-Practical Steps of Healthy Eating" mentioned in this blog entry and on pages 66-67 of HEAL? Are you experiencing *more* heart or head hunger as you turn to food less often for other needs and use food only to nourish physical needs--stomach hunger? Share it with us here so we can pray with you and/or journal about it with the Lord.

• Continue to do the "7 Steps of Healthy Eating" and evaluate how you feel emotionally, spiritually, and physically as you do.
• Read through the material in lesson 4 on pages 73-85.
• If you don't have the HEAL book, consider getting it! (I really think this is an amazing, power-packed little book!)
• Prayerfully begin to evaluate "What do I really hope to accomplish in my life relative to my body (physcially), my walk with God (spiritually) and my emotional well being (emotionally)?
• Evaluate and write out as you ask the Lord "What am I willing to do differently in my life to experience the realization of these goals?

Again, to combat our flesh's tendency to make this be all about our bodies, take time EACH day to praise God for his attributes, his character, his actions on your behalf, and to thank him for things in your life specifically. Have a praise party each day and see how gratitude can transform your life from the inside out!

• Report here through the week about how all of this goes for you and what you notice!

Living Room Session 3

As we come to the end of Lesson 3 in the HEAL book, there are a couple of activities that we would do together if we were together in a group in someone's living room. So, I hope you are hungry...get your favorite beverage, snuggle up in your favorite throw and settle in with the rest of us.

Lord, please guide and direct our time in this "virtual living room" as we study and pray "together." Though we may not be near in proximity, I trust you will bind our hearts in your Spirit. Most of all, draw us closer to you. Help us to see what we truly hunger for and what will truly satisfy. Thank you, in Jesus' Name...Amen.

Even if you don't have the book and even if we aren't face to face, we can enjoy what the Lord may have for us in similar activities:

• Return to John 4 in your bible -- the story of the woman at the well--prayerfully put yourself in the story as the woman. Imagine the sights, smells, feelings of being the woman at the well. How do you feel being there in the heat of the day, trying to avoid all the other women? What inner heart aches do you have? What types of heart hunger or head hunger are you likely to experience? How have you been trying to meet that need? Has it been working? How do you feel about this? It is really preposterous that a man--any man, let alone a Jewish man--would speak to you, given the "type" of woman you are. And what is he doing here at the well in the heat of the day when *no* one comes? What do you think as Jesus speaks to you? What does he say to you specifically relative to YOUR heart and head hunger? What does he invite YOU to do? How does he personally meet YOUR need? What do you think and feel as he reaches out to you in tenderness? Try to immerse yourself in the passage and imagine truly being there. Feel the heat of the hot sun and the dryness all around. Feel the sand beneath your feet. Hear the sounds of the desert...the quiet of a world without modern conveniences.
  

Close this meditation with a time of prayer and praise to him that he has chosen to meet you at your "well." If you are like the rest of us, we continue to try to draw from a well, assuming it has what we need, wishing we could be done with it forever...only HE can meet the need once and for all...he alone is our living water.

• For the second activity, evaluate each type of hunger specifically. For each of the three types of hunger, heart hunger, head hunger, and stomach hunger, answer these three questions:

1. What emotions or feelings do you experience when you have this type of hunger?
2. What thoughts do you experience?
3. How do you respond to this type of hunger?

Heart hunger is often the most difficult to take to the Lord. Prayerfully evaluate what types of heartaches you face most frequently and note if this has been the case for you. When you feel wounded, empty, in pain in the deep places, do you turn to the Lord to meet that need? If not, why not?

When are you most likely to feel heart hunger? Consider what you usually do about it and what can you do instead. What would the Lord most likely want you to do about it instead? Can you look up verses in the bible that will encourage you in this? If you like you can select two of the following scriptures and journal how they encourage you regarding your heart hunger:

Psalm 73:25,26
Psalm 42
Psalm 63
Psalm 103
Psalm 107 (Note especially the phrase "Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. ")
Psalm 145
Isaiah 55
Isaiah 58:11-12
Ephesians 1:3-14
Philippians 3:7-14

Finally, take time to praise the Lord for His character and his actions on your behalf based on what these verses (and others you can find) tell you. What can you do to begin to experience him as your satisfaction when heart hunger rages? Are you willing?

Lord, thank you that you want to send forth your word and heal me...you have done this, Lord. I pray that I might respond by believing you, what you have said, what you have done...and truly turn to you when I feel deep emptiness--hunger--in my heart. Thank you that you are sufficient. Lord, help me not to turn to food to meet the emptiness of my heart. Instead, I pray that I would respond to you and your love and allow you to truly satisfy. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Seven Practical Steps to "Healthy Eating"

On page 65 the authors remind us of John 8:34, where Jesus says, "I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin."

Do you want to be a slave to food? You have the choice to remain a slave to food or to be set free. When you submit to head hunger or heart hunger or starve yourself, you're giving food the upper hand over your life. Yet food has absolutely no power over us unless we give it that power.(HEAL, page 65)

The authors follow a short discussion about the freedom God intends for us with "The Super-Practical Steps of Healthy Eating." These are seven simple steps that can help you eat mindfully and with freedom!

1. Select when to eat. This is between the parameters of stomach hunger and stomach satisfaction. Developing a sensitivity to physical sensations in the location of your body where your stomach rests, is vital! :-)
2. Select what to eat. Food that satisfy you and nourish you.
3. Sit Down. Sitting down keeps us from mindlessly grabbing at whatever is out on the counter. By the way, driving in the car doesn't count as "sitting down!" LOL!
4. Say Thanks. Inviting God into the experience. If whatever we do--eating or drinking--is supposed to be done to the glory of God, it stands to reason we want to welcome him into the dining experience. Eating can be an opportunity to refocus our hearts and minds on all the blessings God has given to us! Use this quiet moment, too, as a chance to ask him to help you to eat without greed and to know when to stop. I have found that a simple prayer of "Lord, this I do for you" really helps to keep me honest. If, in that moment, I can't pray that way, then chances are I am not physically at a point where I should eat.
   
5. Slow Down and Take Small Bites. It takes time for my stomach to register with my brain that it isn't hungry any more! Eating slowly really does make a HUGE difference in the amount I end up eating!
6. Savor the Flavor. We can delight in the texture, smell, taste and sight of what is before us. We can do this with a thankful heart!
7. Satisfy! Be sure to stop when your stomach is no longer hungry. If you follow these practical steps above, you will know when is a good time to stop.

When these steps are followed, you will be amazed at the changes that happen in you physically, emotionally and spiritually. This isn't about a list of laws or rules, but suggestions to help you and I be aware of when we *need* to eat. It helps foster the *ability* to give our eating to the Lord as a sacrifice of praise.

I will be honest with you...again, it is amazing how little food it takes to satisfy my physical needs when I apply myself to these steps. Typically, it can be quite disappointing for those of us who LOVE to eat food for a million reasons other than physical hunger. But the Lord can move in and meet the needs that have previously driven us to keep doing the same thing again and again, expecting different results. We want change, don't we? I know I do! Lifelong, lasting change! I don't want to be a slave to food!

Just Saying No?

...you need to be spiritually nourished. So ask God to open your heart to his presence and power as you pray and feed on His Word. Invite the Lord into your struggle, and surrender the deeper hungers of your heart to him. Ask God for the willingness to relinquish control and trust him with your needs while you obey as he directs. (Emphasis added - Smith and Halliday, HEAL, page 64)

This little statement is packed with a lot of truth!

Many of us have experienced a *life*-long struggle with eating and our weight. It is so very easy to fixate on the food and our bodies. We have become accustomed to doing this--to fixating on food and our bodies as we have over the years (though it sure hasn't served us well, has it?).

The authors encourage us to invite the Lord to do a work within us...this is where the root of our struggle is, after all. As we release our deep hunger and our insistence that we have something NOW to fill the hole, we begin to experience what God intends...a true, more deep, solution and satisfaction for what truly ails us. Making it a daily prayer (if not more often) that we will give HIM the control in our life is so helpful in keeping a godly perspective. I love that the authors point out this two-faceted process...we trust HIM with our needs, to do *HIS* part, while we also put one foot in front of the other in obeying what He tells us to do--doing OUR part in the strength he provides.

I have hesitated posting this post to the blog. I wrote it a few days ago...If you struggle with embracing the idea of how we eat being at all related to "obeying God," I want to encourage you to either not read the rest of this post and to spend time asking the Lord to reveal HIS truth about this, or to prayerfully continue to read. What GOD says to you is the most important. NO human should put a yoke of slavery on you.

So, while Romans 8:1 and other verses of scripture clearly teach us that there is NO condemnation in Christ...while we can know beyond a shadow of a doubt that GOD's response to our sin is not "disapproval" or anger, it is hard for us to embrace this when all our lives we may have equated "disobedience" with incurring someone's wrath, disappointment or disapproval. I urge you to realize...we are talking about God. He doesn't need my obedience. He doesn't need me! He chooses me. And he did this, Romans 5:8 says, while I was yet a sinner! Ephesians 1 says he chose me before the foundation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight--in love he predestined me! He has chosen me before I ever did anything godly or good! So I surely can't lose that "approval" and "love" with any actions of mine. My actions didn't "win" Him and my actions won't "lose" Him!

So as we go on, please know that the last thing I want is for the enemy to use my words to heap condemnation on anyone. The Lord doesn't do that!

But the truth is, in this society where we have food on demand, TV on demand and everything else with all kinds of options for what we "demand," it is counter-intuitive to "Just Say No" to something that we want--even when it isn't what God wants us to do. He wants what is truly best for us. He looks at the big picture. We tend to look at what will bring immediate gratification.

Romans 12:2 says that we need to refuse to be conformed to the world and, instead, be transformed by the renewing of our minds. It is no surprise that this is comes on the heels of verse 1 that urges us to offer ourselves as living sacrifices to the Lord. I must be willing to give myself to God and say no to self. In our fast-food, micro-wave, have-what-you-want culture, this is like swimming against the current!

So, let me be direct with you (and as I am, I am asking myself the same questions...):

• Do you have one particular struggle that you face as a matter of routine?

The Lord LONGS to show compassion on us!

Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you;
he rises to show you compassion.
For the LORD is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for him!
- Isaiah 30:18

If I struggle with something habitually, it is vital that I recognize this and invite God into this to help me with it. He calls me to change. He wants to infuse me with his joy, his strength, his ability to overcome and not to be bound by anything.

• Is there a food, restaurant, behavior relative to food and eating that you know the Lord is calling you to lay down, but you consistently turn away from the Lord to say yes to what you want to do?

Again, I don't ask this of us to bring condemnation, but to urge each of us to admit that we need the Lord. We need him now. His saving power can be experienced by each of us in the daily-ness of everything that seems so mundane, including our eating! But we must turn to him and in humility let him know we need him.

• Maybe he is just calling for even a baby step of faith, but even that, you refuse him in one particular area...what is it?

I know that my sweet tooth really seems to be an idol in my life. I seem to bow before it constantly. The Lord longs to be my master. His heart aches. He is not burning with anger toward me over this. His wrath about sin was satisfied in Jesus! I stand before him as approved of and loved in the beloved, but that doesn't mean his heart doesn't ache for me to love only him!

Again, I ask not so that we might condemn ourselves. The Lord doesn't condemn us either (see Romans 8:1).

But he does call us to rise above the attitude of "I want what I want when I want it." He calls us to die to self. Jesus laid down his life and he calls us to lay down the practice of...always having ____________ on the way to work (insert StarBucks or Peets Coffee beverage of choice or anything else for that matter!)...or always having the buttered popcorn at the movies...or consistently throwing up after eating...or having to end a meal with something sweet...or...anything that we think we *can't* say "no" to...is it possible we are not at a "can't" place, but more at a "won't" place?

I realize again that this leg of my journey is definitely about changing my "won'ts" to "wills." With an act of MY will, I can *will* to do that to which he calls. I can say NO to self if saying yes to self is outside of godly parameters. I can *obey* him.

For me, God has done so much healing in my life that what might have formerly been "I can'ts" have definitely shifted...now I know that, in Him and because he has healed me, I can. I must rise up and walk.

Lord, you know my heart. Please help me to have a heart turned Godward...to say no to self when saying yes is outside of your will. In fact, Lord, I desire to want what YOU want, so I can have the joy of "indulging myself" and simultaneously pleasing YOU...because I want what you want! What a joy that would be to be able to say yes to self because self wants what Lord Almighty wants! But, Lord, I really want to choose YOU during those moments when I have other ideas...I want to do this joyfully.

Stomach Hunger

When to eat and when to stop eating?

Thin Within and HEAL both encourage us to eat within the boundaries of physical hunger and physical satisfaction. This is the basic principle for the "mechanical" or "how to do it" part of our eating.

However, most of us have shut off this mechanism with years of dieting, bingeing or overeating, and/or starvation. The mechanism may seem "broken," but it isn't. It is dormant. I am fearfully and wonderfully made and I can trust my body because of the Maker of my body. But sometimes I need to work patiently with the consequences of my actions for the previous umpteen years! God is gracious and WILL teach me!

For those who have temptations toward not eating enough food--anorexic behavior--the HEAL book encourages you to be sure to get professional help, but also to consider prayerfully submitting to desire eating as a vehicle through which the Lord might resurrect healthy eating in your life. The authors say on page 60:

[The Lord] may give a woman who struggles with undereating the discernment that it's helpful for her healing to eat when she experiences head hunger, while he may convict someone who struggles with overeating otherwise. (Emphasis added, HEAL, page 60)

For most of us, this is *not* the case however. We know how to eat and are all too eager to eat!

So what DOES stomach hunger feel like? The book mentions that for some there may be a growling sensation. However, Dr. Halliday has been known to say, "Hunger is not a sound." Relying too much on a "growling" sound to signal hunger can cause a person to eat too much on some days (when the stomach "gurgles" as it digests something) and not soon enough on other days, causing headaches and plummeting blood sugar levels and potential dizziness. A stomach growl seems like an easy signal, but it isn't the right signal for most of us. Some of us can become very legalistic about waiting for a growl and always eating with a growl. I urge you, if you are in this camp, to ask the Lord to show you the truth about what stomach hunger is like for you.

Since the stomach is somewhat "elastic" and like a bag, I liken it to a balloon. The analogy isn't perfect, of course. Picture a deflated balloon and that is somewhat like an empty stomach (again, not completely). The stomach is located higher in your body than many people think. Follow your lowest ribs on both side of your body to the place where they join...your "sternum." Behind this spot on the left is where your stomach rests.



As you can see from the image above, the stomach is definitely higher than most of us think. The very gurgles and growls that we are accustomed to waiting for are often lower. (Personally, I wonder if this illustration doesn't show not only a FULL stomach, but one that is slightly disproportionate! It seems large!)

When your stomach is empty, there will be a very distinct empty sensation from the place in your body where your stomach lives! :-) See if you can distinguish this today. It is very distinct and may or may NOT be accompanied by a growl.

Some people describe it as an ache, a pain, or a vacuum sensation.

Here is the thing, too...something that really surprised me when I realized it. Even if I can't eat right away...my stomach, once it is empty doesn't get emptier, thus justifying eating more when I do get around to eating! I am either hungry (stomach is empty), or I am not! Being "sort of hungry" is like being "sort of pregnant." Sort of an oxymoron. Hunger is an empty stomach pouch! If I am "sort of hungry" I may be at a 1 on the hunger scale, but I am not at a 0. Busying myself with other things can keep me from lamenting "Oh, gosh, I really WANT to be hungry because I WANT to eat!" And it will keep me from obsessing... "IS this hunger? Am I hungry? Maybe I am...hmmm...no, I am not sure!!!" and on and on.

Two things can help...

1.) Pray. Ask God to show you what is "stomach hunger" for YOU and your body.

2.) When in doubt, leave it out. (Again, if you are someone who has struggled with undereating, you will want to prayerfully surrender this to the Lord and choose to eat for a time when your signals are not yet discernible. Professional help is vital.)

For most of us, it takes about one fistful of food (chewed up and compressed) to have sense of stomach satisfaction. That is a LOT less food than most of us eat! Try it for a few days and see what happens, though! You might be amazed!

If you struggle with overeating, remember how easy it is to choose more food than your body really needs. With this in mind, you can courageously begin to select smaller portions. (HEAL, page 62)

I have found that if I eat half as much twice as slow, I end up thinking that I had just as much as I used to eat. :-)

Truthfully, even now I must return to smaller portions. While I know that I am not eating anywhere near what I used to, I still can see where I have some room for improvement in this area.

As you try this, you will discover that often what we insist is stomach hunger is actually head hunger...desire eating. I eat because I want it. Truthfully, most of the time the antidote to desire eating is to "JUST SAY NO."

Please know that I don't mean when you feel like you *can't*. This is when you just simply *won't*. I have noticed that once again, for me, evenings tend to be most challenging in terms of desire eating. I think of something, I want it, so I have it. Well, stomach hunger never entered the picture, yet I rationalize and justify..."Well, I am close enough to a 0 and, besides, if I don't eat now, then in a couple of hours when I am trying to sleep I won't be able to because I will be hungry." These are subtle ways my heart has of resisting what I know is right, turning my back on the Lord and refusing to be obedient to what God is calling me to do. He calls me to die to self. I just don't want to! :-/ I don't WANT to "Just say no!"

Stomach hunger is usually easier for people to begin to identify over time than stomach satisfaction. For me, I identify that stopping point as "no longer hungry." The stopping point for this kind of living isn't once I have eaten as much as I can, but I am not quite uncomfortable yet! It is learning how little I need. Again, for the person who struggles with anorexic tendencies, you will have to learn to eat without thinking in these terms. PLEASE get professional help with this!

But for the rest of us, there is a sense that we want to shovel in as much food as we can before we *have* to stop! This shows me that my heart is still attached to food in a way that God wants to rid me of! I am free to enjoy my food, but to do so without a greedy heart is so important for my physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being!

So, note how your stomach feels during your meal. Try to especially be aware of if the sensation of hunger is gone and keep in mind it takes at least 10 minutes for your mind to know what is going on in your stomach! That is one reason why eating slowly is so helpful!

All of this sounds so mechanical, but most of us find we need the strength of the Lord in order to change our eating to these godly parameters. We have depended on food for so many things (other than fuel for our bodies) for far too long! So when we begin to try to eat between 0 and 5 on the hunger scale, we need to call on the Lord to help us! :-) It can be an awesome thing to see that God uses something as mundane as eating and drinking to draw us so much closer to him.

Three Types of Hunger

Clarity can be found in the pages of the HEAL book where the "Three Types of Hunger" is discussed. Head hunger, heart hunger and stomach hunger are all hungers that are legitimate hungers that demand to be fed.

However, so often we feed the hunger the wrong thing.

When we eat in response to these hungers, we either engage in desire eating, emotional eating or healthy eating, respectively. HEAL, page 60

This seems so clear to me.

The cool thing is, "Healthy Eating" isn't defined as *what* I eat so much as *why*. When I eat in response to stomach hunger, *that* is healthy eating.

I put together a video to share some of this material in the HEAL book in lesson 3 on the three types of hunger. It was 10 minutes of footage that I edited down to just under 5 minutes. It is a bit "rough." Hope you don't mind! :-)

Changing the Heart

Wow...if you haven't gotten the HEAL book, page 59 alone would be a great reason to get it. Really.

I won't include the questions here that Allie and Judy ask because I don't want to cross a line and get a letter from the publisher telling me I have violated copyright/publishing rights, but suffice to say, moving along the same theme as yesterday...we continue to be challenged.

So let me ask you some questions of my own:

What do you "sigh" about?

If you are given a moment with nothing that busies your mind--like when you drive, are in the shower, brushing your teeth, in a boring meeting, where does your mind float to?

What do you "make big"--magnify--in your life?

O Magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt HIS name together!
- Psalm 34:3

Take the answers these questions to the Lord and ask him to use them to show you if HE is Lord of your thoughts and what it will take in order for him to be! This shows us a lot about our hearts. (I am doing the same...)

In the pages of lesson 3 in HEAL, we are challenged to consider some practical ways of changing that which we focus on. I would like to suggest things that I find helpful:

• studying the scriptures

• memorizing verses
  

I can attest to the fact that this makes a HUGE difference in where my "stray thoughts" end up.

• Practicing gratitude intentionally during the day also causes my thoughts to head toward gratitude when they are "straying." It is cool how that happens! If I take time each day to *train* my thoughts, often I find it pays off during those "loosey goosey" moments.

Relative to food, eating, and my body (and anything else I struggle with) this makes a HUGE difference in where I head!

• I also like to listen to praise music a LOT...and sermons! I love downloading sermons from iTunes and the kids and I listen to them when we drive. We are sermon junkies! Driving is a time when my mind can go all KINDS of places, so having a place to put my thoughts intentionally, helps me a lot.

But here is the IMPORTANT thing to realize:

We can't grit our teeth and change our own heart.

It isn't the act of doing these things that changes us...it is availing ourselves of the Holy Spirit--God dwelling in us--who changes us through these "things" that we can "do." True change isn't something we can program by having a bible study method down pat or a packet of verses that we have memorized. Most of us know the truth that:

HEAD KNOWLEDGE isn't the same as HEART change.

So always always always we must ask and wait ... for the LORD. I just find that bathing my mind in His Word any way I can helps me to be more mindful of His presence and to do that.

What will you do today to foster changes in your heart?

Change Starts in the Heart!

Psalm 139 includes a verse where the psalmist asks the Lord to search and know his heart and to show him if there are any offensive ways in him, any anxious ways in him...wow. That is a brave prayer to pray. I know that, relative to so very many things, including my feelings about food and my body, I have a lot of anxiety. God has worked a lot of progress in me in this area, but there yet remains a lot of work to be done! I am so thankful that he continues to work. He continues to do that "new thing" in me constantly!

He does in you as well. Philippians 1:6 says that he will complete that which he has begun. We can rest, confident in this. No, it isn't a "quick fix" or an easy deal...that much is certain.

...if there's going to be any real change in our lives, this has to be our genuine request to God. Before we're transformed physically, we must be refined and renewed from within. That's what the HEAL Journey is about--going to God daily and asking him to search our hearts, to test us, and to make us more inwardly beautiful in his sight. It's about transformation from the inside out. As God brings to light the things that are not pleasing to him, we are presented with the opportunity to become the women he wants us to be. HEAL, page 58.

We have to, have to be willing to invite his close scrutiny and correction--not just about which food or how much exercise. Those are all symptoms of something deeper. We have to invite him to evaluate what we value, what we hold dear...and when he nudges us gently, we must respond in tender obedience.

Look up Galatians 5:19-21. In the HEAL book, Allie and Judy break this verse down, looking at each piece of it. In your journal, list each of the words that are mentioned as being an act of the sinful nature. If you like to dig in to scripture, use the tools on Blueletterbible.org (where the link above opens a new tab in your browser) to develop an understanding of each of the words included. How do any (all?) of these show up in the area of food, your body, eating, in your life?

For instance: Envy...for me, I envy passionately (more than I would want to admit) those that seem to have no "issue" with food, eating, or their weight. I see that there is this ugly little area in my life where I have an automatic attitude about people like that! Lord, forgive me! In fact, when someone appears thin and athletic, I have an automatic set of assumptions I make about them...Gosh, this leads me to see other ugliness in me as well...all things that the Lord wants to change! He wants to transform me from the inside out!

Please don't allow the enemy to use these words to put a spirit of condemnation upon you. That is NOT what is intended here. But what IS intended is that you will be challenged to humbly allow the Lord to love you into change. Our hearts is where the overhaul has to begin!

If you want a really good prayer/study, take time to go through each of the words in the passage and ask the Lord to search you and know you and show you if you need his loving correction in any of those areas. Don't minimize or justify. Just welcome the fact that he is HERE to bring the much needed change!

Tell us about it here if you feel led by Him to do so!

Hunger...a GOOD thing...?!

As much as we try to avoid it or control it, hunger--both physical and spiritual--is a good thing. It is a constant reminder of how dependent we are on God to meet our every need. Our hunger gives us a continuous opportunity to draw near to the One who is our comfort and source of life. HEAL book, page 56-57

It is SOOOoooo much easier to focus on externals like body, weight, our food...than it is to focus on what is really going on...the deep things, like the heart hunger.

By focusing on externals--our diets, our weight, our eating or not eating--we avoid confronting the real issues in our lives: our fears, unresolved grief, emotions, relationships, rebellion, and insecurities. HEAL, page 57

In what ways does this statement from page 57 resonate with you in your life?

In the HEAL book, this statement is followed by this question: "Who or what has hurt you the most?" We are then encouraged to ask God to show us how these people or experiences have affected our lives. I want to urge you to do that right now. But do so allowing the Holy Spirit full access to you, your heart, your mind, so that he might minister to you personally.

What do you think this may have to do with your quest to change physically, emotionally and spiritually? You can ask the Lord about that as well.

I found that the answers to these questions have had a radical impact on how I view food, what I "use" it for, my relationship with God, how I view my body and a whole host of things...all that impact me at varying levels. Some people may minimize that there is any need or value in analyzing this, but God has shown me that I don't operate in a vacuum. These things have predisposed me to experience difficulty with food, eating, and my body. Sin is still sin, true, and I must choose to repent each day of my life of the sin I have committed, but understanding some of the "why" behind my struggle has actually helped me to do this as well. God's kindness leads me to repentance. Understanding that I am not crazy, but that there are *reasons* I struggle, helps me so much!

When I ask the Lord to show me the root of these things, as painful as his answer(s) may be, it is in that place where true healing may begin to take place.

Heart Hunger...

The previous post was published just moments ago, so if you haven't yet seen the weekly assignment for the HEAL book and you are doing the study with us, don't miss it! I didn't want to wait, though, to publish my thoughts as I began this week's material.
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Even if you don't have the book, you can join us!

Take time to read John 4:1-41 if you haven't yet. The HEAL book asks us to do this and it is a great place to read and prayerfully consider what God may be saying to each of us.

We each have a hunger within our souls that craves to be fed--a hunger for love that longs to be satisfied. This "love hunger" is inherent within all of us, but it's how we respond to this hunger that determines the life we live. Will we allow God to fulfill the desires and hungers of our heart? HEAL, page 55

As you read the passage in John, consider what the woman's culture had done to her...what was she doing there during the heat of the day? Why might she want not to ever have to come to the well again? You may want to look up some history to learn how "women like her" were treated in her culture to get a full feel for what she faced in her society. There was so much there...and yet...Jesus treated her radically differently than anyone else.

In what ways can you identify with the woman in the story? If you sat down with the woman across a cup of tea (or whatever your pleasure), what might the two of you talk about? How would your conversation be different before she had this encounter with the Lord and after? How had her life been changed?

What does this have to do with your HEAL journey and quest to change?

For what do you thirst? For what do you hunger? What do you turn to for the slaking of your thirst or the satisfaction of your hunger? I mean...really. Like when the lights are out, no one else is home, and no one else will know?

Are you happy in this place? What are you willing to do to change?

It has been said that change can't happen until the discomfort (misery) with change is overcome by the discomfort we face staying where we are. Can you relate to this comment? How so? Take some time to ask the Lord to touch you in your thirsty, hungry places. Wait for him in silence to show up. Open His Word and hear from Him. He longs to show you compassion!

HEAL Week 3 Assignment

These little chapters have a lot in them! :-) We may not finish in the 6 weeks that I had originally proposed. :-) Of course, please go at whatever pace you prefer.

This week's (or however long...) assignment:

• Continue to memorize Psalm 139 if you have chosen to do so. How about turning it into a prayer of praise. For instance: I praise you, God, that you search me...that you know me. That you, Holy God, are willing and able to be intimate with me. Thank you that you care about every detail of my life--even when I sit...which I seem to do a lot of, Lord! You also know when I get up! Help me to get up for your glory, Lord! Etc...You could take a few of the verses each day and pray this way. Just a thought!
  
  

• Work on the Action Steps that you established for Level 1. If you are comfortable doing so (as the Lord leads you), do the same for the other levels. Try to make some headway in level 3...waiting for physical hunger before eating. Evaluate what happens when you do this and deal with what surfaces that may be related to levels 1 and 2 (relationship with God and relationship with food).
  
  

• If the Lord leads, apply an action step in level 4. Journal how you feel about making a beneficial food choice. Does it cause you to stumble? Is it too soon? Or do you love having the freedom to select beneficial foods when you are hungry? :-) Tell us what you discover here at the blog!
  

• Work through Lesson 3: Healing Your Hunger on pages 55-67 of the HEAL book. If you don't have the HEAL book, take the time to check this blog each day. Journal your responses to the posts/questions posted here or respond here at the blog. Consider establishing your own blog to chronicle your journey, if you haven't already done so!
  

• There is a lot in this chapter that is vital. I plan to post frequently. I am loving this material! :-) So visit regularly!
  

• Don't forget to pray throughout this experience! Practicing praising God for his attributes can transform a life! TRULY! It helps get our focus off of self and on to the one who IS BIG! :-)

Beneficial Food Choices - CAVEAT!!!

Beneficial foods aren't "free!" (Subtle dieting mentality can creep in there if we aren't cautious!)

We want to be HUNGRY when we eat ANY food...no matter how "beneficial" the food is. It is NOT quite so "beneficial" if we aren't hungry when we eat it.

Overeating salad is still overeating. :-)

Any food we eat will be eaten between physical hunger and satisfaction!

Living Room Session 2 Part 3 - Beneficial Food Choices

iets flip the pyramid on its head.

In fact, diets make the entire "pyramid" about food or food and exercise...well, about SELF:


As you can see, this isn't a very stable image. When the beneficial food choices are what life is all about, life topples easily. That is why we can't keep it up! But when the pyramid is laid out like the HEAL pyramid is, with God as the foundation, there IS a stability for our entire lives!

Diets tell us what to eat, when, and how much (most of the time). Many of us come to this stage of our life with a wealth of experience with diets. Some of us have lost a truckload of weight. Most of us have gained it right back. The diet doesn't last forever. For some of us, what does seem to last forever is the obsession that dieting can trigger. Obsession with our appearance, with nutrition content in our food, labels, points, blocks, grams, calories and exercise mania.

For many of us, we have to try to walk far afield of graphs, charts, nutrition information and so forth for a season..maybe even a long season...so that we can truly get our bearings with the Lord's direction and experience the freedom from obsession that he desires for us.

For me, the most recent chapter of this experience of freedom for me has come by not using a bathroom scale. I can't pretend that I have this figured out yet, but CAN say that I am feeling a lot more freedom than I have ever known now that the scale doesn't greet me each time I go into the bathroom...beckoning to me:

"Hop on and see...
...just go ahead and check...
...come on...you want to...
...you know you do..."

Only to have me get on that piece of metal and instantly be puffed up with pride at my "accomplishment" or condemned because of my "failure." (Really, most bathroom scales are NOT accurate to within 2 pounds, so how can I "celebrate" that as a success or bemoan it as a failure? And what about cyclic fluid retention and a million other reasons that a person can vacillate in their weight even by 5 pounds in a single day? Goodness...the hot fudge sundae I ate the night before, does NOT show up as fat weight overnight! Why do we accept these lies as truths worthy of condemning us?)

All of this to say...as soon as we begin to talk about "Beneficial Food Choices" some might say, "I knew it! I knew this was a diet like any other!"

This isn't the case. There is a huge difference! Let's look again at the HEAL pyramid! Open your books to have a look at it.

We are doing this so that, as we hit the fourth level, that of selecting beneficial food choices, we can see that this is NOT a diet. So, let's review a bit...

First - The pyramid is set up the way it is so that the foundation is God. He is the basis for everything and runs through everything. The other "levels" of the pyramid will fall unless the Lord sustains and flows through the others.

Secondly, the second level of the pyramid deals with the tendency we have of looking to food OR dieting OR eating "healthy" food as a means of feeling better about myself, about life, about anything. If I blame food for my condition, if I "hate" food and resent that I have to eat it (for instance), then I do not yet have a healthy relationship with food. Diets usually blow right past this concern. We are taught to hate certain foods and that other foods are almost capable of imparting "righteousness" and virtue to us if we eat them. In fact, there is even an eating disorder that has been recognized in recent years. It is called orthorexia nervosa and is "health food obsession" in a nutshell. The HEAL book challenges us not to go there...but to allow God's Spirit to heal and soothe what is the true ache in our hearts. Only God can satisfy our need for heart satisfaction and, by Jesus' blood, make us righteous. Only the Lord can enable us to forgive ourselves for the many years we have abused our bodies or tormented ourselves...not eaten when we were hungry, forced ourselves to eat tasteless foods that were supposed to be good for us, or thrown food down our throats when we weren't hungry...and all the motives behind all that we did. The LORD HEALS!

As we invite the Lord to deal with this in us, we begin to test the waters of 0 to 5 eating--eating what we desire between the parameters of physical hunger and satisfaction. That is the third level of the pyramid. I hope we can see why these levels do need to be addressed in this order!

We may experience a broad plethora of emotions as we begin to eat only to satisfy physical need and stop eating for the many reasons we have been previously. This takes us back to level 2...dealing with our relationship with food...and back to level 1...allowing the Lord alone to be for us what we have turned to food to be... (See how these levels are interconnected?).

As these levels begin to be more a part of our lives, we sense the Lord calling us to a greater sense of responsibility for the body he has entrusted to us. We begin to discern that we feel physically better in response to some foods than others. This almost seems like an incidental awareness that may emerge slowly as the obsessions fade. We may feel like garbage when we start the day with a quick bowl of cereal, finding we crash and burn within an hour. Or we may realize just how energized we are for half a morning after having some other foods. This is the insight we carry with us into this fourth level of the HEAL pyramid. We may discover that some of the information we learned during our dieting experiences, can actually be "sanctified"--used by the Lord in a beneficial way. But all the while we remain aware that the heart can be deceived...we can wander back into our obsessions if we aren't alert!

Over time...and it may take a long time for some...we begin to be able to use nutrition information to begin to select foods that are more beneficial than those we chose when we began this process. Not for righteousness' sake...as we remain steadfast that only the Lord can truly impart virtue into our lives...but because with discernment and a sense of responsibility, we want to feel better and operate at our best. This is a slow change. We also choose foods that the Lord gives us an appreciation for...including the taste!

I learned from my exposure to the "ZONE Diet" years ago that I really feel much better when I have protein with each eating occasion. When I am at a 0 and eat something without protein, I will experience a lack of energy much sooner than when I am sure to have protein as well.

So, then, level 4 is that place we arrive not where we try to revert back to a diet...no, we continue to allow the other three levels of the HEAL pyramid to undergird this top layer. The fact that this layer is smaller than the others indicates it isn't supposed to be a focus.

You see, so often, we flip the pyramid on its head...we try to make eating beneficial foods where we start AND where we end. We ignore the rest of the pyramid. That is certainly what diets do!

So...with this all said (sorry that this was so long!), let's look at our goal for this level. Please remember to give yourself time to get there. This isn't a "do it today" sort of goal. You may not find yourself emotionally ready to exercise this type of discernment until you have rested in the freedom of the other three levels for a long while (like a year!). All the Lord to lead you.

We move to a spiritually mature approach to nutrition when our spirit of vanity and perfectionism is replaced by a spirit of gratitude and a genuine desire to honor God...this comes only from a heart of change--when we really realize who we are and who we belong to--that our lives, our beauty, our bodies are not our own (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). HEAL book, page 47

Level 4: Beneficial Food Choices (Journal your responses if you don't have the HEAL book...and share them here if you like!)

Goal: _________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Action Steps: ___________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________

My goal: To be able and willing to delight in beneficial foods more frequently. Not to consider myself more virtuous for doing so.

Action Steps: To have fresh salsa available all the time (this is one of the few beneficial foods that I enjoy...so I may as well have that as a snack instead of cookies!). To select grilled chicken instead of fried at least sometimes. :-)

For me, this has to be babysteps!

Tomorrow, I will post the next assignment and some thoughts about it, too. :-) Hope you are still hanging in there! :-)

Living Room Session 2 Part 3 - 0 to 5 eating

Still hanging out in the living room together for our group study! :-)

Moving on, then, to level 3. We will do level 4 tomorrow. If you want, to, you can move on to lesson three, but I don't think I will post that assignment until Tuesday. I want to take as long as we need to cover the material. :-) This little book offers a lot to think and pray over!

Level 3: Hunger-Fullness Eating I am persnickety about labels. For me, "fullness" is too much food. So I prefer to have my goal be to eat to "physical satisfaction." This is basically when hunger is no longer present. Since, scientifically speaking, there is a delay of about 10 minutes between the time my stomach is no longer empty and the time my brain registers this fact, I know that once I feel like I am no longer hungry, I am definitely good...filled with fuel for my body. To continue eating past that point will be too much food. In fact, 10 minutes after I stop is the real sensation...and it is definitely a fuller sensation than the one I stop for.

In the HEAL book, the authors have a different hunger scale than in the Thin Within materials. -5 (negative 5) to -1 (negative 1) is undereating. 0 to 5 is healthy eating...from stomach hunger to a comfortable place in the stomach. and 6-10 is overeating.

This stage is about abandoning any tendency to either overeat or undereat while learning to rely on the internal hunger and fullness cues God has given you. (HEAL, page 45)

Many of us don't know what true physiological hunger feels like. We are so used to ignoring those either because we are on a diet and have had our allotment of points, carbs, or calories for the day (so we have to ignore our body's legitimate call for more food) or because we want food and don't care if we are hungry or not and dive in! So waiting for true physiological hunger seems foreign to many of us.

Add to that the fact that we are used to eating the amounts we are told, either by our diets (a half cup of this or a quarter cup of that) or by our "Full Meal Deals" at fast food restaurants or even the nice places we may choose to dine. Everyone seems to want to tell us how much we need to eat.

The truth is, only our bodies can tell us what we need and God has made us fearfully and wonderfully. He will use our physical hunger and satisfaction cues to direct us in our eating if we allow him to do so!

If you have never tried adjusting your eating to eat only between 0 and 5 (phyiscal hunger and satisfaction), this may rock your world! It makes a huge difference in everything. Without obsessing about what you put in your mouth, if you prayerfully seek to learn what your body feels like when it is hungry and what it feels like when it is satisfied physically, and commit to the Lord to allow these boundaries to direct you when you will eat, you will release weight and develop your dependence on the Lord, too.

When we stop eating for all the many reasons that we think we need to (sad, happy, celebrate, stressed, depressed, etc., etc...) we find that a lot of emotions go unanesthetized...and we need the grace of God to help us get through. We find that we have come to rely on food in more ways than we can imagine. But as we persevere and allow the Lord to get us through, not only do we release physical weight, but we experience the healing of our hearts and minds through the only One who can truly satisfy what ails us.

Here is my level 3 goal.

Level 3 Goal: To eat only when at a 0 and to stop at or before a 5.
Action Steps: To slow down, to be aware. To allow myself to take sips of a beverage between bites and put the food or fork down. I have been distracted while eating and I think this has caused my portions sizes to be larger. Also, for now, I will take half of what I have been normally. I will wait 10 minutes before getting another serving to see if I am still really hungry or not.

Your turn! :-) For Level 3, write your goal in your journal if you don't have the HEAL book and/or share it with us here at the blog if you want added accountability.

Goal: ________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Action Steps: _________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________

Don't forget that our relationship with God is the foundation and is to permeate everything else. Once the focus shifts to 0 to 5 eating, some of us may struggle with leaving God out of it. Be aware of this tendency and the tendency to hop on the scale repeatedly through the day. Again, I urge you to toss the bathroom scale out or to, at least, send it to a girlfriend's house for a couple of months and see if God and you can do this thing without that tool. :-)

Tomorrow, level 4. Remember that we may not "accomplish" these levels in succession. We definitely will have to continue to work on level 1 all our lives long! :-)

Have a blessed Lord's day!

Living Room Session 2 Part 2

Allie and Judy have done a great thing in this lesson. I really like this group study. They ask us to discuss the HEAL pyramid and then to take time individually to create personal HEAL goals for each level of it. They want us to list practical, action-oriented steps that will help us to reach those goals. We are encouraged to remember that the Lord is not concerned with our outer appearance but with the motives of our hearts. I LOVE that they remind us of this!

So how about it? Let's take some time to do this. I may post a Part 3 of this tomorrow so that we can really take some time with this. If you don't have the HEAL book, I want to give you enough information here to be able to participate. Feel free to post questions if there isn't enough information for you to benefit, too.

You may want to open the book to the HEAL pyramid to have it in front of you. We will go level by level through it here.

Level 1: Relationship with God. Given that we are called by God to enjoy Him, to depend on Him, to call on Him, to serve and worship Him, to allow Him to be the only thing we worship, given our tendency as human beings to put something else in place of Him at almost every turn...maybe especially when we are concerned about our bodies, appearance, and food, what is a very real goal that you can establish for yourself in this area? Prayerfully consider what God is asking you in this?
Goal: _________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Action Steps: ___________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
You may want to have a journal that you write these things in.

I am not sure I like the way I worded my goal, but here it is without editing:

Level 1 Goal: To invite God into everything, including my eating. To obey Him in ALL things, completely. (I figure if I don't shoot for ALL things, then I will definitely NOT be obedient. If ALL is my goal, then maybe I am more likely to obey Him more frequently.) I also want to add that this is my goal NOT because I believe I can win his approval this way. In Christ, I HAVE his complete approval. My desire to obey him is motivated out of a heart of love for him. So, I guess my goal would be best stated "To love God more!" :-)

Level 1 Action Steps: Continue to have the timer on my watch go off every 15 minutes. When it beeps, I will stop and look to God consciously and intentionally for a moment. I will pray, "THIS, I do unto you, Lord." This will be my prayer.

For some months now, I have had my timer go off incrementally. Sometimes only every hour, but in the past couple of months, I have it set to go off every 15 minutes. It is a reminder to reconnect with God since I am prone to wander so much. This has transformed my life in so many ways. (Even now, it is going off...LOL!)

In the past few days since I included this in my "action steps" with the prayer being "THIS I do unto YOU, Lord..." oh wow...has that ever changed things! It has been incredible to see how God has used that simple, almost *rote*, prayer to stop me dead in my tracks. When I say a word to another, when I drive, when I eat...whatever it may be...saying, "THIS I do unto you..."...yikes. I can't pray that if it isn't true. So I adjust what I am doing (most of the time) so that I *can* say it honestly...

Anyhow, this has been really helping me with eating, drinking and other things!

Level 2: Relationship with Food. I have included "and Beverages" in my goal setting. This level of the pyramid is about how I feel about food, do I use it for meeting emotional and spiritual needs or do I truly keep food in the appropriate place, eating to live, rather than living to eat? Do I run to food to do anything for me other than nourish my body? In the HEAL book, other eating disorders are included, too, such as anorexia. In fact, on page 45, we are asked to take some time to reflect on the difference between our spiritual and physical needs. We can so often get them mixed up.

Level 2 Goal: I wrote in my HEAL book, "To relate to food as nourishment--physical fuel--instead of something to fuel my joy.

Level 2 Action Steps: This is one I am prayerfully working through. I know I need some boundaries for a while. Boundaries that I would rather not post here, as I am concerned they might be misinterpreted. If we were sitting around a living room together, I would have the benefit of explaining what the boundaries are and why, and answer questions. Since I don't have that, I won't post the details here, but it is clear that I need to have boundaries in effect.

Your turn!

Goal: _________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Action Steps: ___________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________

Please don't skip this. Even if you don't want to write anything down, you can prayerfully ask the Lord--even as you read this entry--what might be your Level 1 and Level 2 goals? What action steps can you plan to take so that the goals aren't just somewhere out there? I encourage you to do this activity prayerfully. God's goals and actions steps are NOT a yoke of heaviness for us. They bring delight and freedom!

Tomorrow, part three of Living Room Session 2. :-)

Living Room Session 2 HEAL Lesson 2 Group Study Part 1

Pull up a chair and get something you enjoy to drink...fresh water works, too, if you aren't hungry! :-) Let's put up our feet and, if it is cool in the part of the world where you live right now, get a comfy blanket to snuggle up in.

I have just done these very things. It is a beautiful morning in Cool, California (yes, I live in a place called "Cool!") With the windows thrown open wide, the sunshine is pouring in, but so is the cool air (it is about 56 degrees!). So, I have my throw, my mug of yummy white chocolate caramel cappucino. In my living room, I can easily imagine sitting around with my cyber-space girlfriends. I wish we could all be together in real space and time! :-)

Lord, please guide and direct this "group" study of the second lesson in the HEAL book. Most of all, I pray that we might catch a glimpse of what you want for each of us individually. What an author calls "Basics" may be challenging to me, Lord. I ask that you help me not to embrace a burden of condemnation--likewise, I pray that you would keep me from making excuses. Maybe you are calling me to take a larger step forward than I have been willing to make in a long while. Lord, help me to believe you for what you want to do in my life. Help me to follow you...if you want me to take a big leap, help me to do so and to trust you to catch me. If you want me to take a baby step forward, I pray that I would do that. Help me not to condemn myself using the words of others (including an author of a book I read or study), but to allow you to challenge me to experience the new thing you say you are doing even now! In the Name of Jesus I pray, Amen.

If you have the HEAL book, I am on page 51. We are asked by the authors if anything in the lesson resonated with us. What did God teach you through lesson 2? If those of you who completed the lesson respond here, God may use your words to encourage even those who don't have the HEAL book. PLEASE respond here! :-)

Other questions we are asked include:

• Have you ever dieted? If so, what was that experience like?
• How is your previous concept of "healthy eating" similar or different from HEAL?
• When do you engage in all-or-nothing thinking?
• What lies about yourself have you believed?
• How have your accountability moments been going?
• What phase of the HEAL pyramid do you need to grow in the most at this point on your journey?

Wow! There is so much here in just these questions alone! I want to give you all a chance to respond to these without my own commentary about each question.

I will share this, though (of course!)...I think one of the things that struck me was how controlled I am (even still!) by my dieting past. No, not in the same way, but controlled in an opposite sort of way. I don't want to be obsessive about "healthy foods" like I did in the past. I don't want to fixate on calorie content, fat grams, carbs, and proteins and labels. So, I swing way to the other extreme...where I don't even allow myself to consider these things as tools that God can use in my journey. Sure, sometimes, I sort of do...but generally I don't.

I think it boils down to being controlled by a spirit of fear. I am so fearful of allowing myself to be obsessive again with exercise (logging minutes, miles, repetitions, sets, etc., etc.) and with food that I throw out (almost) all intelligent thought about these things. Truth is, this is being controlled just as much as I was before--when I obsessed. God wants me to be free from this fear so that I can walk in knowledge and in peace. He can use information about food content to encourage my heart, my health, and my life so that I can glorify him. Will I dare to grow in this? Yikes!

Oh dear! There it is again! That call for balance! I don't trust myself to handle it well, I guess!

Or...hhmmm... even as I type that, I wonder...am I making excuses again for indulging my flesh? Hmmm....I have a lot to pray through!

Ok...YOUR turn! :-)

Basics of H.E.A.L. and of LIFE! Part 3

Hi, everyone. I am still in chapter 2 of the H.E.A.L. book. I really love the fresh presentation of familiar material that Allie and Judy have put together. If you are familiar with Thin Within, I hope you are enjoying it as well. And if you aren't familiar with Thin Within, I hope you are enjoying it! LOL!

One big difference between the way Thin Within and HEAL present similar material is found on page 42. The "HEAL Pyramid" is a concept that I know that Judy Halliday has long felt strongly about, but it hasn't made it into the Thin Within materials in a concrete way. Here is the pyramid so those of you without the HEAL book can see what I am talking about:


One thing I would like to really comment on is the fact that actually, these aren't layers that go from one to the other, leaving the previous layer behind. Our "Relationship With God" is foundational, but also actually runs through all the other layers. We don't "check it off our list" as something that we have "been there and done that." So technically, all of these layers blend into the others.

What this pyramid DOES show is that the focus is to be my relationship with God, first and foremost! I have found that, as I get comfortable and faithful, for instance, with hunger-fullness eating, it is all too easy for my focus and foundation to shift...The TW book *does* address this, but there isn't a visual like the pyramid that so spells it out. It can shift to being about the food, about the "technique" of eating between 0 and 5 instead of remaining focused on the Lord and dependent on Him. All along the way this has to remain being about the LORD. He cares little about my physical body in comparison with my heart. This is what I mean:
What I am trying to show above is that my relationship with God must remain in and through everything I do...be it the emotional things I discover I use food for (that one is more obvious), or the awareness of physical hunger and satisfaction...and on into my beginning to exercise more and more discernment regarding which foods make my body operate at its maximum efficiency!

All along the way, the Lord will affect what I do, say, think, desire.

Allie points this out on page 43:

God is the rock we must cling to. He made us and knows us intimately, so it follows that he would know what's best for our bodies and how they've been designed to function.

After further discussion about this, we are asked: "What can you do specifically to make sure God is the foundation of your life as well as your HEAL Journey?

I would love to know what you think. Feel free to comment here.

To me, this is probably the most important question we can answer as we proceed. If we gloss over this or blow by it because it seems irrelevant, we will miss it. :-)

If you have been reading here at the blog, please dive in...take time to respond here with your thoughts about this. What can YOU do, practically, to ensure that you keep your focus on the LORD! :-)

Basics of H.E.A.L. and of LIFE! Part 2

Epiphany! Revelation! A Blinding Flash of the Obvious!

A realization hit me following a late dinner. I had a meeting at church last night. I got home very late and was famished--truly at a 0. As I debriefed the meeting with my husband, I suddenly realized that the little steak I was eating was gone. I hadn't taken the time to enjoy it. I hadn't focused on the explosion of flavors from having marinaded the steak for 2 days. :-) Hubby had carefully and perfectly barbequed this little "Omaha Steak" and it was incredible. Tender and cooked to perfection. Yet, somehow, I had missed it...AND eaten it all! Sucked the thing right down.

And, in the past, that little steak would have lasted a couple of meals. Even if if IS tiny. :-/

Not only that, but I chased it with dessert--inhaled....

As I fell asleep last night, I thought over what I had eaten during the very busy day. I realized that all day yesterday, my meals involved more food than in the past. If I were to compare yesterday with a year ago, I bet I had eaten twice as much. NOT ok!

I think I will have to cut my portions in half again and see where I go with that.

Wow! I wonder what else I am blind to in my life? I bet a lot. :-/

Psalm 139:23...Search me O God and know my heart...

The light went on today and I discovered that greed has returned.

And, sadly, I tuned out the voice of God. I heard his whisper to my heart and turned my back. How often have I done that! :-(

This brings home to me that food isn't the problem. But in this case my eating says a lot about my heart. I have allowed attitudes to re-emerge that have caused physical boundaries to weaken. My focus has shifted again...subtly and I see it clearly as I look at yesterday. Wow. I turned my "deaf ear" to the Lord. Didn't feel rebellious..just felt hurried. :-/

Hmm...Reality check time.

I am redefining my stopping point for my meals today. "0" or "satisfied" will be when I no longer am hungry. (This is what it used to be!)

Lord, please be my portion today. Be my satisfaction. Help me to see the truth about myself and about you. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Basics of H.E.A.L. and of LIFE! Part 1

Since this isn't a diet, I don't want to call this "Basics of H.E.A.L." and leave it there! Really, this isn't temporary like a "diet;" this is to be a permanent change. In my eating and in my thinking.

On page 35, the authors state: ...healthy eating has less to do with the type of food you eat and more to do with the relationship you have with food and God. Healthy eating in the HEAL sense is having an emotionally healthy approach to food. It means bringing God into the center of your relationship with food and learning to trust and obey the way he made you.

Truthfully, today something went awry. My heart and brain checked out and I didn't eat what I had planned to eat at 0. I was hungry for breakfast and for my lunch and did ok there...but after that, I didn't wait for 0. I grabbed greedily at this or that. It wasn't bingeing...far from that, but it was also far from the positive behavior that I thought had become habitual.

Sometimes I wonder if the Lord allows me to see a day like this so I realize just how dependent I am on him. If he isn't the center of my relationship with food, I am a mess. Left to my own devices...well, it is pretty pathetic.

Right now is a new moment. I choose to capture this moment for the Lord. I will not wait for tomorrow. To wait is to give in to the old dieting mentality. Instead, I will declare THIS my new moment, my new "day," my "Monday," my "fresh start!" Thank you, Lord, that I can do that.

Further down the page, the authors state that diets "...overlook the underlying reasons why we may have an unhealthy relationship with food, our body, exercise, or other aspects of our lives. Diets give food the upper hand and attempt to fix our appearance, but not our heart."

Colossians 2:20-23 is a powerful scripture for this very thing. I don't know how I could ever go on another diet...even if I could toss out my experience (which has taught me that I become more obsessed by dieting), I couldn't toss this scripture aside. I would have to "re-interpret" it. Don't think that will happen.

I know that this battle has kept me fiddling with trinkets, distracted by the lesser things, with an illusive vapor of some sort...when the Lord has so much more in mind for me. I think there is definitely a new greater thing emerging here. I keep saying this, I realize, but then I catch wind afresh of just how true this is. I am praying that I will hate sin, love obedience to anything the Lord calls me to do or be, and desire to be appropriately active for the sheer joy of moving the body he has given me. I am eager to see how he will answer these prayers in the day ahead!

HEAL Week Two Assignment

NOTE: I posted three different things yesterday. Sorry to bog down the blog, but each seemed of value: 1.) Part 2 of the Group Study from HEAL Lesson 1. Feel free to respond here at the blog even if you don't have the book! 2.) A post on dieting 3.) a video--If you have a young girl in your life, please share it with her.

On to today's post (Don't worry! I won't be posting more today!...or I guess I should say, I don't plan to!):

Hi, girls! Even if you are joining us late, feel free to use the blog here to record your responses. Many of us will receive email notifications that someone has posted to the blog and your comment will be read, prayed over, and possibly responded to.

• Continue to memorize Psalm 139, if you have chosen to do so.
• Read and pray over/journal through, respond to :-) Lesson 2: The HEAL Basics, on pages 35-48.
• This material describes the "nuts and bolts" of how we are challenged to eat. Begin to apply the principles presented here. Consider, journal, pray over how it feels to let go of dieting rules. Are you willing to truly trust your body and the God who designed your body? :-)
• As you begin to do this, consider what are ways that you discover a "dieting mentality" rearing its ugly head through the week. For instance, you may try to diligently eat according to your body's hunger and satisfied signals and feel like you are "failing" and are tempted to "Start over" or to "Quit." These are thoughts that come from dieting. In the Lord's economy, every single solitary moment given to him, every tiny little choice and babystep taken in a Godward direction, delights His heart! Continue to ask the Lord to show you when you are giving in to a dieting mentality, even in subtle ways.

I want to encourage us, as I did with the last study I did here, to try to focus on the Lord through this. The more we focus on our bodies, eating and food, the more it can actually drive us nuts and become a wall between us and the Lord! If we take captive constant thoughts about food, eating, and our bodies, and, instead, become intentional about praising God for his character or thanking him for things, we will find our journey transformed--WE will be transformed!

If you have a bathroom scale, I suggest getting rid of it or, at the very least, giving it to a friend to keep for you so you won't hop on it over and over again "just to check." I know from experience that jumping on a bathroom scale can actually DEFEAT all that you hope to accomplish. It is a tool that very often harms us, rather than helps. Pray about it, ok?

Have a blessed Lord's day!

This Video is Valuable...

Visit this website to know more about this video.

I don't have a clue about what they promote, but this video is fabulous. I can't say whether I endorse anything else about them or not, but if you have any young women in your life, this short video is a powerful encouragement.

Diet Thoughts

Hi, everyone. On a private forum, I have been in a discussion with some friends. I found myself posting something that I hope might encourage visitors to this blog. I thought I would share it. Names have been removed and some text edited.
=-=-=-=-=-=

...As someone who has been an "expert" on dieting for years and years, I would caution always to evaluate it if is worth the cost...to the heart and mind...and to look at the ultimate goal...that of keeping the weight off, being able to "be normal," *and* not to hinder my walk with Christ in *any* way. That is my hope, anyhow. I don't want anything I choose to do that deals with my physical body to hinder my walk with Christ. And for me, dieting definitely has hindered my walk with the Lord over the years. Dieting isn't the "evil," however...it is what I allow it to do to my heart.

For me...dieting has done a lot to get rid of physical weight in the past, but has done a whole lot more to add emotional and spiritual weight--burden--in my life. These things have added to the reasons behind my weight issues rather than alleviate them. Dieting treated my symptoms rather than the cause...for ME. Like I mentioned in my initial comments about this, maybe that isn't a problem for anyone else, but my obsession took me down a path I don't ever care to return to. In fact, if I had to choose, I would rather be overweight and not have the heavy heart than be thin and obsessed living in fear of gaining it back. These seem to be the two extremes I lived between for so long. I am trying to stay in that "happy medium" place now.

As it says in Romans 13 (I think it is), the Kingdom of Heaven is not about eating and drinking but about righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Amen to that!

God has been taking me on a path of dealing with the heart issue. It sure isn't a quick fix...I will grant you that. And one of the things he is bringing home to me is that my body is SO not the issue--again, for me. Yes, he wants me to do what I can to be healthy, but physical health is not to be at the expense of spiritual and emotional health.

Frankly, God has laid on my heart that His goal for me is not that I be THIN. His goal for me isn't even that I be HEALTHY. His goal for me is that I am HIS. I am sure he celebrates good health and celebrates when I am at a healthy weight, but what he really desires more than anything is that my heart is sold out to him and I chase after him more than thinness. Sure, a person can do both, but *I* can't. I don't know how else I can say this. For me, if I could hate sin as much as I hate being fat, I might make some headway.

So often I have sold my birthright for a bowl of stew...or a promise of being thin.

He is my sufficiency and strength if I allow him to be...sometimes I replace one sort of food and body obsession with another. For me, that is what dieting has been...it was the trade off from obsessing with how fat I am and eating more food, to obsessing about controlling the food and hopping on and off the scale to see how I am doing. All the while, my heart remained in chains or even more chains were added to what held me.

Dieting isn't the problem. Just like food isn't the problem. What is the problem is my heart.
God is dealing with that in me now, thankfully. It is taking a LOT of work, but it is happening!

HEAL Lesson 1 Group Study Part 2

Hi, Girls! :-) (Using Allie's name for her group participants! :-))

Imagine that we are continuing our study in our "virtual living room," enjoying getting to know one another a bit better. Freshen your coffee or tea and get cozy for part 2 of our HEAL study! :-)

• What does being "wonderfully made" mean to you?
• In what areas of your life have you been living in the dark?
• What scares you about living in the light?
• How have you hidden your struggles with food and your body from God and others?
• Reflect on the miracle of being knit together in your mother's womb.

I spoke with Judy Halliday a few months ago about Psalm 139 and she stated a concern that many women have a tendency to think that because of things done to them in their lives or because of poor choices they have made, they have somehow negated the truth of Psalm 139. Some people, Judy shared, are convinced that, while the Lord may have made them "fearfully and wonderfully," that now, after the way they have chosen to live, they are no longer that wonderful, amazing work of art that God intended. What would YOU say to someone who says she believes this? Is this truth? Or a lie? What IS the truth? If someone believes this, what can she do to practically change her thinking? Why is this important to experiencing transformation in the area of food, eating and our view of our bodies?

As you reflect back on the week and lesson one, your journaling, the things the Lord may have shown you in His Word or in the stillness of your time with Him, what does He impress upon you now? What words might HE want you to share here at this blog? Other participants will read your comments and others who are only "lurking" might be encouraged or challenged by anything that you have to say as well. What is in you to minister to others that God may want to have you "put out there?" Prayerfully consider this!

Lord, thank you for this material. May we allow you to use it to truly do a "new thing." I pray, too, that others would join in. Even though we have gotten started, may other women who might be encouraged through this material join in...whether they have the book or not, Lord. I pray that we might all draw a bit closer to your heart and that you might join us in the bond of Christ, even in the many locations we find ourselves. I pray that we will find a way, choose a person or a method, that we might BE accountable to take babysteps forward. Where we have tossed food down our throats in an emotional outburst in the past, I pray we might even catch ourselves and stop and pray instead and leave the house, if need be. If we have engaged in any eating disorder behavior such as throwing up after a meal, I pray we might stop in our tracks as we head to the bathroom and surrender our next moments, thoughts, and steps to you. Help us to celebrate our babysteps forward, Lord, knowing that these delight your Father's heart. Thank you that, through Jesus, we can approach the throne of grace with confidence to receive the mercy and help we need in our times of trial. In His Name we pray, Amen.

HEAL Lesson 1 Group Study Part 1

This week definitely got away from me, and I didn't post to the blog as much as I had hoped. But I did complete my study! So, as promised, let's do the "Group Study" here. Feel free to imagine us sitting in a living room together, your favorite beverage at hand...let's go ahead and share as the Lord leads!

Dear Heavenly Father, please be with us in this "virtual living room" as we study from the HEAL book and your Word. Please show us what we should share--to know what is from you and that you want us to post and what might need to be pondered privately in our hearts and offered to you. May you be King over this technology in our lives. We proclaim you LORD over this blog and over this study. Thank you, Jesus, for providing the way that this can happen. Be exalted. Amen.

What are some thoughts or questions that you have as you read over Psalm 139? If we were in a group together face-to-face, we would read it out loud together and chat about each verse as we go. What might you feel led to share about? How did this psalm strike you? (Refer to page 31 of the HEAL book.) If you don't have the HEAL book, please feel free to share anyhow!

The authors state on page 32 that there are important lessons from Psalm 139:
1.) God is familiar with all our ways.
2.) We are fearfully and wonderfully made.
3.) We were made in absolute intimacy with our Maker. Our heart hungers to return to this place if intimacy, peace, and solitude before God.
4.) God's eyes saw our unformed body.

Can you respond to these? Do they "strike" you in any way in particular? How do these lessons affect (or how *can* they affect) the way you view yourself or your body?

Share your personal experiences regarding your weight, eating habits, and body image. Specifically discuss what you wrote in response to the three reflection from your personal study this week that began on page 22 and 23 under "My HEAL Journey."

For those who don't have the book, but who want to join in, we were asked in the HEAL book to consider our relationships with food and our body and to answer:

Where I have been...

Where I am now...

Where I want to be


I want to hear from you! Let's share here. :-)
Part 2 coming tomorrow.

Wow...Upside the Head...God CARES!

I know this seems really basic--really rudimentary...I mean, totally foundational. But I decided to journal prayer my way through Psalm 139. It is taking me several days and I had hoped to have something truly profound to share here. HA! (There is that performance mentality thing I struggle with so much, rearing its ugly head again!)

Truth is, Psalm 139 really IS profound! All by itself!

O Lord, you have searched me and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue,
you know it completely, O Lord.
You hem me in--behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Psalm 139:1-6

I don't even get to the "really good stuff" in this psalm before I have to stop and bow before my amazing, wonderful, kind, good, loving Lord.

Let me ask you this...as I ask myself. Are there activities that I tend to view as secular? You know...the sorts of things that I think fall outside of "God activities?" For instance, it is easy to see that going to church, having a quiet time, attending a fellowship group with other Christians and, maybe, even being with my family might be "sacred" activities. But what about website designing? What about grocery shopping? What about paying the bills for my 83 year old mom?

The truth is, in light of the above passage, it is clear that God certainly doesn't draw a distinction between "secular" and "sacred." The truth is every moment can be captured as a sacred one, every activity offered on the altar of my life, dedicated to God and His glory. I think this may be why Paul says in 1 Corinthians 10:31: So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

All that I do can be dedicated to God's glory, whether it is eating, drinking (the most mundane things in life!), serving in the nursery at church, pulling weeds, mucking stalls, riding horses, helping my son with his highschool chemistry work, vacuuming the carpet or doing the laundry. God cares about everything.

If he really is searching and knowing me, when I sit and when I get up, perceiving my thoughts, my going out and lying down...gosh, all my ways...can I really claim that he doesn't care or has no opinion or thought about my eating, how I view my body, my self, the struggles that I have to give this area of my life to him?

He cares...He definitely cares!

Retread...Fresh Beginning

A video version of some thoughts I have today as we begin:



In case you don't want to take the time or have the internet speed to watch a video, basically what I share is this:

As I launched myself into the HEAL book by Allie Smith and Judy Halliday earlier today--really for the first time--I was struck by a thought immediately...This is such a fresh presentation of a message that I have become so familiar with it has almost become "old hat." I don't think I even realized it...but I had become a bit callused, jaded...something was off and I didn't even realize it until I saw a new way of saying something that I have heard and written, spoken and read for years...My reaction to seeing it "done differently" showed me that I had kind of gotten skeptical or something! Not of the message, but of me or of the Lord's ability to affect me...I don't know. :-/

I was surprised by joy as I opened the cover of my HEAL book and began to read Acknowledgements and other introductory material. I appreciated Allie's humility as she mentioned that Jesus met her in her brokenness and "breathed life into the empty parts of [her] soul." This is a lady I can identify with.

In the Introduction, she mentioned "rising above the strongholds of food, eating, and body image"...amen. I am so done with strongholds in any form. The sanitized, "sanctified" versions of the very same strongholds that plague so many of our pre-Christian girlfriends, have assaulted the church of God and God's precious daughters...including me!

Onward!

Let's get right down to it...NOW. :-)

Today I would like anyone who wants to see personal transformation in their life to evaluate:

"What am I willing to do to see change in my life?"

"Am I willing to experience some pain?" (Change IS often painful!)

"Am I willing to be vulnerable?"

This is a shared journey as Allie and Judy say on page 10.

What are you and I willing to do...what WILL we do...to be sure we aren't isolating (which is where sin breeds more sin and shame breeds more shame) so that we can experience the personal transformation and abundant life that Jesus came to earth, died and rose again so that we might experience?

Feel free to answer here at the blog. I look forward to your responses! :-)

HEAL Week One Assignment

Hi, everyone! Have a wonderful Lord's Day! Today, I will relish the presence of God in the wilderness.

Last night, I confessed during bedtime prayers with my son and husband that I was anxious about today...helping on the worship team with songs that are out of my voice range...or certainly at the higher end AND having to play chords that I prefer to avoid (F# and G#m...ugh...) all at the same time. My son prayed that I would be filled with "a spirit of worship." Oh wow...how perfect is that prayer.

I pray that all of us might be filled with a spirit...Spirit (big "S" perhaps, as it is the HOLY Spirit that floods us with a desire to worship the true God of the universe instead of to bow to self or something else!)...of worship today. May we bow before the true God and be flooded full of a desire to worship him no matter what circumstances face us!

About the HEAL study:


The assignment for this week from the HEAL book is as follows:

• Read the beginning material...The Acknowledements, Introduction, Endorsements, and How to Use this Book. Based on this material, answer these questions:

1.) How does the author strike you? What does she seem to be like?
2.) What connection does she say this material has with Thin Within and/or Judy Halliday, if any? Does this connection encourage you? Concern you? Why? Why not?
3.) Consider inviting a friend on this HEAL journey with you...there are "Accountability Moments" throughout. Create a plan for using those to maximize all that these next 6 weeks can be for you. Options include: a real life friend who goes through the material, too; an online friend who goes through it too; or someone in email or who you can talk to on the phone who will just be there for you to process with when these "accountability moments" come up; someone to pray for you as well; lead a group through HEAL and take advantage of that as an opportunity for accountability; use this blog as a place to be accountable; create or write in your own blog as a place to be accountable and then tell us about it.

As you can see, there is no shortage of ways of being accountable.

• Do Lesson 1: You Are Wonderfully Made, pages 15-29.
• Prepare for the Group Study on pages 31-33
• Additional Challenge: Memorize Psalm 139 - which provides a foundation for this study
  
• By Friday, we will do the "Group Study" here at the blog and I will look forward to seeing your thoughts about this week. We will spend Friday (maybe even sooner) and any time through the weekend, interacting about the Group Study pages.

If you are not able to join us with the HEAL book, no worries! I trust that there will be something in the posts and dialog that others can glean from, even if they aren't studying the HEAL book.

Pray for a willing heart to sustain you! Until the pain of staying where we are, overcomes the pain of moving forward toward change, we are bound to staying stuck. Let's agree to ask God that he will give us the motivation to become "unstuck!" Even if it is painful! (Do we dare?)

Love in Christ,
Heidi

Archery!!!

My family and I had the joy of going to an archery lane with some friends who know their stuff. They taught us the basics and then we got to play. It was such fun!

Relish the Wilderness

Wow. If I could figure out a way to convey what it is that God has been really trying to teach me lately...oh, if only! My words simply don't do it justice. I have a hard time wrapping my brain around it--so that is part of the problem.

The wilderness represents that place that I have always considered UNDESIRABLE. It is a place like the old joke says that you would rather be FROM than be in right now. For me, one example of a wilderness place is the place where I find myself unhappy with my physical body. I want something else. I want to be fitter, thinner, yada yada. When I view myself through my "wilderness hating eyes" all I can think of is "I have to get out of this place." Discontentment. Worse than that...it is with a total lack of acceptance of the place. So applied to the body thing it is "I have to look different to be ok." Obviously, this isn't God's plan for me, but before we dismiss it, consider how this so permeates our thinking in subtle ways...

In this place my eyes are fixated on "Canaan"...the place where the wilderness will only be a memory. To continue the analogy, it is the place where I hope to be thin, to have the body I feel ok about and living there "in freedom." It is that place where I assume I will never worry about gaining weight back ever again, I will be "normal" and no longer "struggle." Hmm...even thinking this through, I see the defects in my thinking! But let me press on.

I thought I had landed at the "desirable" place, in Canaan, and even stayed there a year. If all that this was about was the physical, then I had!

God showed me something...I had missed the point of the wilderness. Missed it COMPLETELY. If I had gotten the point of the wilderness, I wouldn't have been in the state I was in once I arrived "in Canaan." Once I was thin, I wouldn't have been freaking out about staying there, clinging to the bathroom scale for all I was worth.

So off I trudged back into the wilderness again...very begrudgingly. Again, my eyes on the "if only" and discontentment with where I am now. The wilderness seems to be lackluster and stretch endlessly without any promise.

But...here is the thing...in the wilderness, at the farthest end (check your bible map) away from Canaan there emerges a place of wonder...Mt. Sinai. And what did God use Mt. Sinai to do? To rock the world of His people. To unveil His bigness. If parting the Red Sea wasn't enough, if appearing as a pillar of cloud and fire daily wasn't enough, if providing manna and an oasis, sweet water from bitter...if all of that wasn't enough, God's intention was to show up as holy, almighty GOD in a way that would cause Israel to know that He is God and that He wants a relationship with his people.

The wilderness is all about God. It isn't about MY discontentment. It is where God takes me to learn to lean on him. If I relish the wilderness, I am learning to relish HIM and learning to value depending on HIM.

This is huge for me. It takes my eyes off of the supposed promise of things to come and causes me to anticipate the NOW. My physical body has little to do with anything really. What matters HUGELY is God...is GOD...is ALMIGHTY GOD!!!

He is challenging me...will I let go of my insistence that there even be a "land of promise?" Will I release my hold on the "if only" and allow my gaze to be pulled from Canaan? Will I crucify this posture of pride that says my hope is out there somewhere? Will I choose instead to relish this wilderness walk, in the now, and delight in the pillar as my Lord travels with me--NOW? Am I on the edge of my seat (so to speak) as to what God will do next, how he will show up, how reliable he is? How sufficient He is to be my all, to be what satisfies...no, not instead of food, but COMPLETELY??? Oh, my heart is convicted with the answers to these questions!

The wilderness is where "stuff happens!"

Check out Isaiah 35 by clicking this link. Look at all that happens when God shows up in the wilderness! WOW!

This blog is titled "God is Doing a New Thing." That comes from yet another passage, Isaiah 43:18-19:

¹⁸ "Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.

¹⁹ See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.

This, too, is a description of the wilderness, the wasteland. Notice the word "IN!" It is IN the desert, the wasteland, IN that place where "it is good to be FROM" supposedly where God does a new thing...constantly...This is out IN the wilderness. He is at work. He wants me to relish the Wilderness Walk because there I can see HIM at work, I can experience HIS awesomeness, I can know HIM. More than my health, being thin and fit...blah blah blah...oh how he wants my heart!

In Hosea 2 God speaks of rebellious Israel this way:

14Therefore I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the desert
and speak tenderly to her.

¹⁵ There I will give her back her vineyards,
and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.
There she will sing as in the days of her youth,
as in the day she came up out of Egypt.

The wilderness is an opportunity to know Him. It is definitely related to letting go of the bathroom scale, too. That piece of metal kept me constantly looking somewhere else other than now and here. I missed what God was doing NOW. He wants me...not just for the purpose of him being enough so that I don't turn to food and can get thin. He wants me PERIOD.

Lord, please work in me a true delight in the Wilderness Walk. May I thrill to being alone with you, leaning on you, waiting for you and seeing you show up and be God. Open my eyes that I might not miss a thing. Keep my eyes and heart from any focus but being here, now, with you. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

HEAL

Hi, folks! YES! I will begin the HEAL book on Monday, October 5th! I will try to go slow enough to linger 6 weeks...that should take through Thanksgiving or just about. But I have so many other things to share...yes yes yes...the journey through the wilderness...the focus being getting OUT of the wilderness...God is showing me so many things! :-) I am glad that others are being shown this too! I don't feel quite so "out of it!"

I must confess that I have waaaaay overextended myself in personal commitments. Thus, the reason I haven't blogged much. I haven't even ridden my horses! Today was the first time in over a month! You know life has gotten too crazy when I won't take my time with my ponies! :-)

I hope to write more tomorrow or this weekend. I hope some of you will join me as we study HEAL by Allie Smith and Judy Halliday!